


kill the hue, dye it grey

by ㅎㅊ도 (HChnD)



Category: BAE173 (Band), Cravity (Band), DRIPPIN (Korea Band), H&D (Korea Band), POCKETDOLZ (Band), Produce 101 (TV), WEi (Korea Band), X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: 02z centric, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Bullying, Color Blind Soulmate AU, Color Blindness, Dialogue Heavy, Established Relationship, Fate & Destiny, Hidden Message, Homophobia, Illness, M/M, Major Illness, Major character death - Freeform, Minor Violence, POV Alternating, POV Third Person, Platonic Relationships, Platonic Soulmates, Please dont hate me for this, Slow Burn, Soul-Searching, Strangers, Trope Subversion, Unrequited Love, Vomiting, also homophobic middle schoolers, as in theyre a bit too dramatic bc they teens, but it is directed at them..., desencontros, homophobic parents, i can't translate desencontros without losing meaning, in the lapslock, it happens off fic/it isnt described in fic, it's kind of a happy ending but it's not in the way people often think of, lapslock, lapslock with a secret, minipyo centric, minor injury, none at these are referring to the minipyo tho, not any main/side character tho, sometimes they cuss a bit but it’s minor, teen drama, the pov alternating is important for the hidden message, there is a hidden message in the lapslock, there were lots of me rambling on the tags but i cut them short, this is my child so please enjoy this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:00:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 48,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24022486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HChnD/pseuds/%E3%85%8E%E3%85%8A%EB%8F%84
Summary: everyone had high expectations for the day they get to see colour for the first time. the thing was, meeting your soulmate wasn't always all rainbows. these kids knew it well.or, where minhee and dongpyo find their special one. except that they don't, notreally.
Relationships: Cha Junho/Lee Eunsang, Kang Minhee/Son Dongpyo, Kim Yohan/Song Hyeongjun, Lee Eunsang & Nam Dohyon, the rest can't be tagged without ruining tHE fUn :D
Comments: 6
Kudos: 12





	kill the hue, dye it grey

**Author's Note:**

> finally posting something that is not a drabble or for a fic fest but jokes on you, i finished this months ago but only posted now. i actually wanted to post closer to their first anniversary but then thought. nah. anyway, hi, hello! first of all, **please keep in mind the tags in case you're a picky reader or has triggers**. i did not want to add them because it'd spoil people and ruin the full impact of this story (i do feel like it hits better entering on it blind) and i would honestly recommend to read it without reading it, BUT i do know some things are unpleasing to be taken by surprise, so if you are someone who doesn't like surprises, do check them and if there's anything you don't like, just close it. be safe, loves!   
>  secondly, i have lots of points to talk before you read this fic!!! i have put them into [a listography link ](https://listography.com/heecheondo/notes/dye_it_grey_-_initial)so it didnt look so big here. besides, it's not all super relevant, but also i suggest to read to get to know more about this fic and its quirks. i put a lot of thought even about how to write it and i believe not being aware of those points might change your approach of the story. still, you do you.   
>  lastly, hope thank you SOOOOOOO MUCHHHHHHHH for betaing this fic!!!!!!!!! my life saviour!!!!!!! i will die for you!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 and also big shout out to karolina, luna, larisa, iroa and literally anyone i might have forgotten who encouraged me, allowed me to blab about this fic without a break and/or even read parts/all of this before being published. i will ALSO die for all of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
>  that's it. i hope you'll enjoy this fic! i tried formatting the whole thing but might have missed something but I'll fix later,,,,,, i mean, have you seen how large this is? it's currently my longest one chapter work!!! so yeah..... i hope it doesn't bother the few readers who are going to read moments after i post, but please understand my side! i'm DEAD tiredjsdashafhadsjf

minhee blinked once, then a second time, focusing on his sight and trying to understand what was going on. his mind as well as both his eyes ran around the place until he finally realized the situation he was in and he froze in his seat, a shiver travelling through his spine. no, no, _no_ , this couldn’t be happening, not _now_ , not like this. it was supposed to be a perfect first meeting, it was supposed to be a one of a kind special event, that’s what everyone told him. it was supposed to make him feel joy. not _confusion_ , not dumbfoundedness.

he looked around, wondering if he could spot someone in the same situation as himself. he was supposed to just know, right? despite the hues suddenly emerging onto his sight and blooming around the room, there was also this feeling that everyone felt, this _something_ that would be pulling him to his destined person, a burning sensation that would soon become crave and curiosity, right? he should just know if he looked at them, locked eyes to them a second time, _right?_

but why wasn’t it happening? why did it feel like he was lost, forgotten, ignored by whoever he was made for?

the place was crowded. he was in a coffee shop, one he visited weekly, eating some sweets with his long-time best friend and it was a busy weekday. the place was full, many customers entering, ordering and eating and-slash-or drinking their orders, or just leaving in a hurry with a bag in hands. it could have been _anyone_. but they for sure got their colour sense at the same time, right? they should be looking for him too, right?

they wouldn’t be ignoring the hues in their sight that proved and coloured his existence, as their soulmate, right?

“is something wrong, Minhee-yah?” his best friend, named hyeongjun, suddenly asked him. “You look a bit pale.”

he gulped. “it happened, hyeongjun-ah. i’m seeing colour.”

“oh. _oh_ , wow, just now? that’s huge! who is it?” he was quick to ask, looking around with a short grin on his lips.

“i… don’t know.”

“what?” he turned to stare at the blond sitting in front of him with a tilted head. “how so?”

“i think it happened by accident, i don’t know… i was spacing out and suddenly everything was different,” he quickly said in one breath, sighing afterwards. “maybe they already left? i can’t feel it when i look around. you know, the thing that just— tells you that it’s them? i can’t feel it. it could be _anyone._ they could be _anywhere_ and i will never know their identity.”

hyeongjun stared at him with a sympathetic sadness. it made minhee even bluer with this whole situation knowing that he was making his friend feel pity for him. “well. at least it’s good to know that there really is a destined someone out there and that life is no longer in greyscale! eventually, you will cross way with them a second time, so don’t worry.”

“how can you know? you haven’t even found your special one yet.”

“it’s how fate works. i just know.” he smiled bitterly. “no need to be so harsh on me, your best friend. i too will find my happiness one day, okay?”

he nodded at the younger. “yes, you’re right. i’m sorry for taking it out on you. this is just so frustrating. i can’t even enjoy this… this mess of colours.”

“don’t think too much about it,” hyeongjun said. “we’ll find them. they might be searching for you too and are just as lost. we’ll wait for them.”

“what if they left, though? we’ll be wasting time by staying here.”

“then we come back,” he simply said. “yohan-hyung’s coffee is too good not to return so, whoever they are, they _will_ come back.”

“but when he hits on you, you turn him down,” minhee smirked teasingly, feeling his nervousness about this whole soulmate thing fly away. he rested both his elbows on the table, hands meeting and fingers interlacing as he rested his chin on top of them. “you’re _obviously_ into him. what’s stopping you?”

hyeongjun gulped and looked down, cheeks reddish. “he isn’t mine. even if i end up being his, which would explain why he still hasn’t given up, he didn’t make me see colour. we’re not meant to be and i don’t want to lean on him when i do get to be with my special one.”

minhee rolled his eyes. “soulmates doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll be your only romantic partner in life. you’re _eighteen_. live a bit.”

“Kang Minhee, i’m not hearing it from someone who was just freaking out over seeing colour as if it was the worst thing in the world.”

“which _is!_ so what that i know i have someone for me if i don’t know who they _are_.”

“You don’t know what fate awaits us.” hyeongjun shrugged, his left cheek now resting on a single palm. “it could be worse. Your soulmate could have someone else as their destined one.”

“this could be exactly _why_ i’m in this situation though.” minhee sighed, biting into his cake. he didn’t look at his younger friend but he didn’t need to do so to know he was rolling his eyes. 

“You won’t see them with someone else at least, _if_ that’s the case.”

okay, hyeongjun had a very valid point. but his situation was still awful. he should have gone straight home once classes ended. even if life ended up still being grey, he’d not be suffering over someone he didn’t even know what they looked like.

actually, why was he suffering over someone he didn’t even know the name or face of? that was _foolish_. “anyway, this system sucks. soulmates suck. i hate my soulmate for being a dumbass and meeting me like this, and i hate fate for putting me in this scenario. at least i can see colour now, so it’s whatever. gonna live my life full of colours with or without them.”

his best friend rolled his eyes. “as always, so dramatic.”

minhee smiled triumphantly at hyeongjun as he finished his cake. so his soulmate couldn’t even make a little effort to find him? just because the place was crowded? then so be it. he didn’t need them anyway.

…

dongpyo kept looking down at his sprite cup, noticing how the clear liquid and container let the brown of the table visible through them. well, at least he suspected that it was brown. that’s what his friends and family told him. that brown was the colour of wood and that this table was made of wood. it was the first time he ever saw it, so he couldn’t be entirely sure.

he left a quiet groan. _it had happened_. his soulmate was most likely there somewhere, and he had locked eyes with them by accident, and now they were linked in this world of colour. he should probably look up and find their eyes a second time, right? get up and talk to them, exchange contacts, and all of that. he had been so eager to finally have someone made for him, especially since he has to third-wheel constantly, and he really wanted a cute boyfriend to call his too. but now that it had happened, he felt too nervous to look up and encounter them. what if he indeed falls for them but they don’t like him the same way? or that they turn out to be a prick and he hates them while they’re head over heels for him? what if his destined one was a giant? what if they end up being a girl with him, who was certain to be one hundred percent into men _only?_

what if they end up being a boy, confirming what he already knew, and he’ll have to eventually come out to his very conservative parents?

he was too afraid of doing so. it was the option he wanted the most but at the same time the one he feared the most. and thus, he kept looking at his drink, ignoring that his soulmate was most likely in the same room as himself. 

“dongpyo-yah, stop ignoring us,” he heard one of his friends say, clearly pouting by the tone in his voice. “we stopped with the pda already.”

“we’re still holding hands under the table, junho-yah.”

“he doesn’t need to know. Eunsang-ah, my love, please back me up.”

the younger laughed at that, his typical loud laugh as he pushed junho away, but dongpyo still refused to look up. it was too scary to do so.

and his behaviour wasn’t left unnoticed. “hey, you okay? is there something wrong?”

“no, not really. it’s just— my soulmate is here.”

“…and you’re looking down? why!? go grab him.”

“i’m— _worried_ , cha junho. i can’t just go grab someone! especially when i don’t even know who he— who they are.”

“you don’t know who they are?” eunsang’s soft voice hit his ears, his voice laced with concern.

“yeah, i guess. i looked down as soon as i noticed colours forming and didn’t really pay attention to who it was,” he admitted quietly. 

the duo didn’t reply for a while, making the smaller of the three wonder if they were communicating through silent glares. these two did it a lot and it was kinda cute, although sometimes in a gross way, to witness it. “and why did you do it?”

dongpyo took a deep breath before answering junho. “because— because it was too sudden. it caught me off guard and it made me worry. what if _something_ happens and we end up hurt? if we’re meant to each other but not really and we only ruin each other? what if we end up being enemies of some sort—”

he felt a hand over his and looking at its owner, he noticed eunsang smiling at him from across the table. “hey, sometimes fate decides to play with our stories but it’s not that bad in the end. you know what happened between junho and i.”

“but you said yourself that you’re both meant to be anyway.”

he tilted his head a bit, taking the older’s words. “ _yes_. in the end, we are soulmates. but you know we aren’t conventional. you know how it came to us two, so confusing and weird, but here we are, dating for six months and happy about it.”

“embrace whoever it is, and if it doesn’t work out, you can end up having a nice friend either way. like dohyon.”

“and isn’t Dohyon a nice kid?” the black-haired boy said after his boyfriend, still smiling. “don’t be afraid of meeting your destined one. it’ll be good in the end, even if it doesn’t turn out to be the one you’re marrying and growing old with.”

the petit boy sighed, nodding at his words, and finally looked up. god, there were so many people inside. it was impossible to know. “you’re right. i shouldn’t be scared of this. it’s my destiny to meet the one for me eventually, right? besides, i’ve been expecting to find him— _them_ all my life. i can’t back off now that they’re so close.”

junho grinned at his direction. “that’s the son dongpyo we know.”

smiling at the couple, he decided to analyze the space. there were a few people in line to the cashier. most were all adults who had just returned from work and most likely not his soulmate, as they arrived too recently; the tables were all full, and so was the balcony, with the two barista hyungs busier than ever. he spotted three groups of high schoolers, and he considered that it could be a lead for him. one was a quartet of girls sitting two tables across his, three who were wearing the uniform of the same school as his. he didn’t really know them personally but he had seen them before. two of them were one year his senior while the other was his junior, and the fourth one was wearing a uniform that looked a lot like the one he’s seen dohyon using. he cringed at the thought of having a middle schooler as his soulmate, but he didn’t feel anything while looking at any of them, so he let them be.

the second group were a duo, sitting by the balcony and chatting vividly. right away he concluded that it couldn’t be them because he already knew them. yoo seonho was a classmate of his, and he was with lee daehwi, his soulmate and boyfriend of nearly a year now. there was no way that either of them was his destined one when they were already each other’s. that wouldn’t make sense, fate wouldn’t be this cruel.

right…?

his further investigations brought him to the third group, also a duo. different from the first two, they were wearing another school’s uniform, so he had no idea who they were nor their ages. just that they were high schoolers. _probably_ , at least. the blond most likely was, while he couldn’t see the face of the beret boy, so who knows. maybe he was younger. or maybe he was like him who was too cute for high school. either way, he caught himself staring at the two for a while, who were vividly chatting, hoping to feel something. at first, the blond one looked worried about something, seeming anxious about whatever the subject was, but then he started teasing his friend and smiled at him. damn, he was good looking. that he couldn’t ignore. 

still, as much as he stared, he felt nothing pulling him to either of them. so he pouted. “i give up. my soulmate is either no longer here or a grown-up, which would be gross. i hope they just left.”

“or maybe they’re a ghost and you can’t directly look at them.”

“Eunsang.” junho gave his boyfriend a glare and then rolled his eyes, turning to the smaller boy. “are you sure of that?”

he bit his cheeks and nodded a single time. “well, this means i now have an after school activity, huh?”

the couple looked at him with confused eyes. “what?”

“well, maybe they got their order and already left. they could be a frequent customer. there’s a chance, you know? that i’ll find them if i keep coming.” he nodded to his own words with determination. “so i must come here as much as i can until i can find them.”

* * *

the bell of the café door rang and Yohan looked at it with a wide smile, one that made his eyes disappear, as he recognized the two high schoolers who had just emerged from it. “well, if it isn’t my favourite customer ever! and his best friend, of course.”

“hyung, please be professional and don’t flirt at work,” hyeongjun said with a weak voice, looking away as his cheeks grew pink. his dongsaeng was the most adorable boy in the entire planet, especially after a compliment. he acted as if he hated it but he knew, even if his feelings weren’t responded, that he and his behaviour weren’t completely hated, and thus he kept with his playful flirtatious ways.

but he had a point, and Yohan had a job to do, clearing his throat before speaking again. “well I’m assuming you and minhee are getting the same as always, am I correct?”

“yes, you are.” it was minhee who answered him, stepping in front of the cashier to pay, but not before looking around the place. “it looks less crowded than yesterday.”

He hummed in agreement. “yesterday was an odd day. we’ve never been that full before. or at least, _I’ve_ never seen it that full even since I started working here.” Yohan was quick to answer the younger without much thought about it but then gave the duo a curious glare, a smirk forming on the corner of his lips. “this is the first time in over a year that you two visit us two days in a row. I’m flattered.”

“we only come here for your _coffee_ , hyung,” hyeongjun smiled politely. “it’s really good. it’s probably the best in the area.”

He tilted his head at the other’s words. “wow, that’s probably the first time you say something nice about something related to me,” Yohan dramatically said after a fake gasp. 

He had expected the younger to roll his eyes or tease him, or maybe even take it back, but instead, he blinked in surprise, not realizing what he had done, and blushed even more.

 _huh_.

the blond coughed loudly, breaking the staring contest the two of them unofficially started. “ _anyway_. hyung, you work almost full time here, don’t you?” he asked in a calm voice. “so you would probably know most people’s faces and orders easily, right?”

“like you know ours,” hyeongjun continued.

“I know your orders and faces because I love my two precious dongsaengs,” Yohan clarified, “but yeah, there are some regulars I know quite well, too. why the question?”

the two high schoolers shared a glare. “nothing much. it’s just that… Minhee met his soulmate yesterday.”

“oh, that must’ve been nice! why did you say it as if it was something bad or sad, hyeongjun-ah?” He smiled at the two, more specifically at the taller one, ignoring the other’s frown. “so, who are they? what are they like? what do you think of them?”

minhee gulped as his best friend looked at him. “i don’t know.”

“they crossed eyes yesterday and didn’t manage to find each other again,” the younger explained.

“oh. that must suck.”

hyeongjun tilted his head at that, finding his choice in words unusual. the barista decided to just ignore it.

“it doesn’t suck, hyung. it’s whatever,” the blond spoke, but somehow, it sounded more that he was telling himself rather than Yohan. “if we’re really meant to be i’ll find them again, and if not, then i haven’t lost anything.”

“You can’t be serious. soulmates are the most important thing about our lives. one of the few things that we can be certain of from the day we are born. You’ll _definitely_ meet again.”

somehow, hearing those words leaving his crush’s mouth hurt. it wasn’t the first time he had heard something alongside that line of thought, because indeed there was a huge value about the whole colour thing, about one’s destined person, about how you were meant to be together until the end. but coming from the mouth of someone _he knew_ wasn’t his, and probably didn’t belong to him either, made his heart hurt. it saddened him that hyeongjun was the romantic type to only think about soulmates and didn’t allow himself to live or even consider living outside it.

Yohan knew very well that seeing colour didn’t control one’s fate. that it was pointless. that it didn’t make one’s life better nor worse. He agreed with minhee. not knowing who your soulmate was - or if you had one, to begin with - didn’t suck. it _was_ whatever.

“well, I should get your orders ready. feel free to sit anywhere,” he forced a smile, excusing himself to get their drinks and cake. 

He focused on his task, trying not to think much about the events from a few minutes ago. He couldn’t help but sigh though, his every day grin long lost from his face. “you look down,” his coworker, hangyul, pointed out as soon as he laid his eyes on the older man. “by the way, we’re running out of milk.”

“I’ll tell our manager-hyung that later.” He sighed.

“and you completely ignored my first remark.” the other nodded to himself. “but i won’t pressure. seeing our newest customers tells me enough.”

Yohan forced a smile a second time. screw hangyul and his quick-witted eyes. must be nice to have a soulmate who was also his. must be nice to have a bit of realization that there is someone for you, suddenly seeing colours other than greyscale, and starting a love story that was predicted by fate.

must be nice.

“here are your orders,” Yohan said with a smile as he placed their orders - a pinkish watermelon juice, for hyeongjun; a dark brown iced americano, for minhee, and a beige, red cake for them to share. He politely nodded at them before going back to behind the cashier, but not without feeling his heart heavy with the way the younger of the two looked up, forced a smile, and averted his eyes right away as if looking at him was too much.

He knew hyeongjun didn’t feel the same, didn’t _allow_ himself to feel the same, but it didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt. the barista wished the other would at least give him a clear yes or no answer. he some (most of) times acted like Yohan was bothering him, but some (rare) times acted like Yohan was more than just a barista, more than just a friend. but whenever he acted like such it was like his face was rubbed in snow because - _that’s right!_ \- Yohan did not belong to hyeongjun and he wasn’t Yohan’s either. 

it didn’t matter. it wouldn’t work. fate wouldn’t let them last for too long. that’s what hyeongjun thought, probably. it’s what his actions said.

He knew he wasn’t hyeongjun’s, and he knew that the younger wanted to be with his soulmate, whoever that person turned out to be. but it wasn’t like it could be helped.

He couldn’t help to fall in love, and also, couldn’t help _who_ he loved.

“you could have told me to hand them their orders, you know,” hangyul’s voice hit his ears again, making him stop from going too deep into his mind.

He forced a grin. “I know. you say it every time.”

hangyul sighed and Yohan shut his eyes, already knowing what would come. “look, dude.” hangyul had said before that he wouldn’t pressure, but that was exactly what he was going to do. He knew it because they had had that exact conversation before, more than once too, and even when he tried his best to not to be pushy, he ended up being pushy. “you can’t expect him to look at you the same way you do. not without finding his actual soulmate first, but we know what the bigger outcome of that encounter would be.”

“yes, I’ve heard it many times by now.”

“you don’t act like you know it, though.”

“as if it was easy to just let it be, but you _wouldn’t understand_ ,” he snapped, but his voice was still quiet. He didn’t want to startle the customers. “you have someone destined for you who has you as his destined one. your feelings are easy because it’s all according to this perfect little story fate made for all of us. but I will never have it. I’ll never have the colour experience like you all do and never will meet someone already knowing we are meant to be together. but it’s not like I can’t love. do you expect me to live alone forever, never craving to have someone to call mine?”

the younger gulped, they had talked about it before but usually Yohan would just brush it off and let it be. this reaction was unusual and, despite the anger, he seemed so tired. “yohan, i know, but you are going to get hurt—”

“ _stop_. I know you worry for my feelings and don’t want to see me suffer, but you’re doing the opposite of it by telling me that.” He sighed, hearing the rings again. “it’s whatever. dongpyo and his gang are here. go take their orders. I’m going to the storage room.”

“but i already checked—”

He ignored his same age coworker, moving away from the counter and not looking back. Yohan needed to cool down his head.

…

eunsang frowned at the scene, sitting at the counter as junho made their orders. “everything okay with yohan-hyung?”

the barista sighed, his expression quite heavy. 

had they fought? it seemed like hangyul was feeling guilty of something, and yohan seemed pissed too. who knows. 

“it’s fine. i said things i shouldn’t.”

“ _ey_ , of course you did. do you never hold back that mouth of yours?”

the older blinked. “yah! i’m still your hyung, mister cha.”

junho cringed at the nickname while his boyfriend laughed at it. their companion, though, had yet to open his mouth. eunsang noticed how dongpyo was way too quiet, looking around the place. he didn’t even sit down beside him, eyes travelling through the few occupied tables. there weren’t even that many people today. just a university student violently hitting on her laptop’s keyboard, two adults wearing similar suits (were they a couple or coworkers?), and two boys who seemed to be their age. but maybe it was less crowded because they had arrived earlier than the day prior. or because it was thursday. who knows. 

the older of the trio sat down beside his boyfriend, resting his head on his shoulder. instinctively, eunsang petted his hair as he waited for his orders.

eventually, dongpyo couldn’t help but sit down, probably concluding that whoever his soulmate was, they weren’t around that day. not at that exact moment at least. but even so, his mind didn’t seem to be back to reality, still wandering around as the couple chatted beside him.

that was not left unnoticed by eunsang, and deep down, it worried him. he’s had his own issues with his own soulmate situation before and he wished he could help his good friend. but there wasn’t much he could do besides support and be there for him. 

“thank you, hangyul-hyung.” he grinned at the barista, handing dongpyo his drink before grabbing his own. but the older boy didn’t turn to look at his order. instead, he seemed distracted by something else, not looking at anywhere specific. “earth to dongpyo? he _llo~_?”

“hm? oh—” he blinked quickly, cheeks turning pinkish. “thanks.”

“you’re spacing around more than usual. i’m assuming you’re still in search of them?” junho spoke after a few beats, biting into his sandwich.

the other scoffed. “it’s been _one day_. of course i am!” he flipped his hair. “as if i’d give up this quickly.”

“search for who?” the barista asked with a brow up, too shameless to stay out of this.

“dongpyo’s soul—”

“eunsang, if you love junho you will shut up right now.”

the younger frowned in confusion. “what does junho have to do with any of this?”

“do you like seeing colours or do you miss greyscale?” dongpyo threatened with a spoon in his hands. “because i won’t hesitate.”

junho knew he was just exaggerating, but still, he gulped down nervously. eunsang just rolled his eyes at the scene. however, considering this was _son dongpyo_ whom he was dealing with, he’d rather play safe. “sorry, hyung, i can’t tell you, apparently. although junho dying wouldn’t affect my colour sight.”

“who knows? if they’re both equally yours, like you pride on saying all the time, maybe killing junho will make your colour sight vanish as much as if i was killing dohyon.”

“can we _not_ kill me? _please_ , son dongpyo?” junho spoke again, louder and more nervous than before. “hyung, please help me out.”

hangyul tilted his head. “i mean, trying that out would be a nice experiment. besides, if one of eunsang’s soulmates has to go, i’d rather it not be my brother.”

the older of the trio turned pale at that with dongpyo grinning at the barista. just as he said that, the café’s doorbell rings echoed in the room.

eunsang grinned at the newcomer. “speaking of him.”

Dohyon, who was previously looking for his wallet, stared back at him, noticing then that all four of them were looking in his direction. “what did i do?”

“nothing. but maybe you should run for your life,” dongpyo deadpanned with a serious expression. “i’m on a killing spree and you’re second on the list. junho’s first.”

He paused to think. “well, hyung’s still alive, so i can grab some coffee before running, right?”

the victim whined loudly at that. “do none of you worry about my life?”

his boyfriend patted his shoulder but said nothing. instead, he giggled at the situation. junho pouted.

“well, you kids sure are weird and i wish i could unhear this creepy conversation,” hangyul concluded with a forced grin, moving to make his brother’s drink. “so, dohyonie. how was school today? anything interesting happened or are middle schoolers still as plain and boring as when i was your age?”

“that says more about _you_ rather than people my age, hyung.”

that earned junho a push from eunsang, but he knew it was just the way that the younger laughed. by moving his entire body back and forward _while_ being very loud.

the kid bit the insides of his cheeks as they became a hue of pink. “do we need to have this talk now? it’s a bit embarrassing to do it here.”

“why? because it’s my workplace?”

“no, because the hyungs are right there.”

“oh, don’t mind us, Dohyon-ah.” his best friend since childhood grinned at him. “pretend that we aren’t here.”

“that’s hard to do. especially with that loud laugher of yours,” he admitted, sitting beside eunsang. “anyway. let’s not talk about my boring school life. what were you talking about before the whole killing thing?”

dongpyo was quick to gulp down whatever was on his throat before speaking. “nothing i can tell you without killing your soulmate and forcing you to live in a colourless world.”

hangyul frowned as he handed the youngest his drink. “stop scaring my baby brother with your threats.”

“i’m not scared. dongpyo-hyung could never scare me with that cute round face of his.”

“well, _i am_ scared,” junho admitted.

“oh, no, guys. my baby’s scared. son dongpyo, i’ll make you regret it.”

“you were laughing at my threats five minutes ago,” he frowned at eunsang. “anyway, you’re all being weird. it really is nothing much.”

“it is something, though,” junho pointed out.

dongpyo looked frustrated at that. “ _yes_ , i know it’s something huge and all of that, but i don’t wanna tell it to everyone, okay?” he sighed. “i feel like i’ll jinx it otherwise. it’s already started on a wrong foot.”

Dohyon raised a brow at that. “are we talking about—” _soulmates_ , he silently mouthed, assuming that the other didn’t want the _barista_ out of all people to know about his problem. it was fair, being his brother he more than anyone knew to not let any information reach lee hangyul _unless_ they wanted it to be spread around. but if that really was dongpyo’s reason, there was no reason to be so careful anymore. he had excused himself as he moved around the place, probably to take the order of whoever had sat down on a table far from the cashier. 

“maybe i am,” the older replied, rolling his eyes. “it doesn’t matter. not for you, i mean. it’s _my_ business. it’s something i missed for being a dumbass and now i have to find it.”

“you’re not a dumbass.”

“i purposely looked away, eunsang-ah. i am at fault.”

“okay, fine, you’re a bit dumb for panicking when your colour sight was forming,” he said in a heartbeat, ignoring how both his soulmates were protesting at his words. there was no real poison in his tone! nothing to protest about, he _was_ a good best friend. just a teasing one. “but! don’t feel bad about it. it happens sometimes, despite fate giving us someone to look for it doesn’t mean it’ll be easy or completely expected as this one fairy tale story. once you find them it’ll be something to laugh about.”

dongpyo rolled his eyes. “maybe you’re right. this situation still is frustrating, though. i hope it passes fast.”

“they can’t be far,” junho said with a bright smile. “don’t worry much about it. you _will_ meet them.”

eunsang mirrored his boyfriend’s expression. he was sure this all would end soon, dongpyo’s soulmate would be around somewhere and this all would end.

* * *

hyeongjun looked to his side as he stared at his companion’s sketchbook, sucking on the straw of his empty cup. “how cute.”

Minhee looked up at that, quickly blushing when their eyes met. He, too, was very cute, the younger noted. “wh— what—”

“the drawing. it’s so adorable,” he smiled as he examined it. “you’ve been drawing a lot lately. got a sudden burst of creativity?”

the older, who was still blushing, nodded at that. “i guess finally knowing what colours look like helped my hopeless case. it’s been so long since i drew anything but i’ve now filled a couple of pages at once.”

hyeongjun remembered that well. they met during middle school, and back then, the other was always seen doodling on his papers. it almost became an issue for him, who often drew on his homework as well as exams until he got scolded for that. but then high school came, expectations came, tougher subjects that they both had no option but to do well also came, and thus, his imagination was often stuck. it had been at least a year and a half since he paused to hold a pen or pencil to draw instead of writing down notes. but there was Kang Minhee, doodling random people nearly every day. 

this time it was a cute boy with a round face and fat lips. he hadn’t coloured him yet, but he has added more pressure to the pencil when drawing his hair, making it much darker than the rest of the paper, so maybe he had dark hair and light skin. his eyes were quite small but it wasn’t weird-looking because his _entire_ face was so unrealistically small, if the boy did have big eyes it’d probably fill up all the space and he wouldn’t have a round cute nose or a pair of lips as plump as he had.

but somehow that was the drawing’s charm, and it was really adorable. “he kind of looks like a duck. or a little chick.”

“yah, song hyeongjun. how can a boy look like a duck?”

“what? it’s possible!” he pouted. “some people say i look like a puppy, and if some boys can look like a dog then i guess other boys can also look like a duck.”

Minhee stared at him dumbfounded and then looked down at his doodle. “i hate how that makes sense.”

hyeongjun caught himself giggling at that. “so, who is this ducky boy?”

his best friend kept looking at the paper. “i’m not sure. i’ve been drawing random people these days, it somehow is the only thing that comes up when i want to draw something. almost as if i was looking for the right face to doodle. it’s silly, isn’t it?”

“i don’t think so. not really,” he shrugged it off. “so, which one feels more like the right face?”

“what do you mean?”

“aren’t you looking for a specific face? hence why all of these drawings?” the shorter tilted his head to stare at Minhee. “so you probably have come up with something _close_ to what you want by now.”

that made his companion think a bit, turning the pages from his sketchbook and staring at the random faces fluctuating around the white pages. some were boys, some were girls, some made hyeongjun confused, but they were so different from one another. “honestly? i think i like the one from today the most.”

“i didn’t ask for favourites. i asked for which one feels more accurate with what you’re looking for.”

the blond kept staring at the ducky boy as if he had cast a spell on him. it made hyeongjun pout in thought. why was Minhee making so many drawings and why was he making it such a big deal? what was he looking for exactly? “i don’t know, hyeongjun-ah. i still think today’s drawing is more… _something_. and maybe that’s why i like it best. because it’s close to the one i have in mind.”

although he instinctively nodded at his words, hyeongjun frowned at that, pout still on his lips as he spoke. “so you have someone _specific_ in mind? that changes things. say, is it someone you knew at a young age or anything of the sorts?”

He bit his cheeks while he shook his head. “i’m not sure how to explain. it’s like i said. i’m in search of the right person to draw, but i guess it’s beyond just a drawing. and i’m not so sure if it’s someone i really know either. it’s almost like i had a dream with them? the type of dream that feels good and you want to revive it. except that it’s a person whose face i’m trying to decipher. i don’t know why because i don’t remember it, but it makes me curious to find it out.” 

_oh_. something clicked inside the younger one’s head, making him look at his best friend with a sad yet sympathizing expression. “aww, Minhee-yah… you’re searching for your soulmate.”

that earned him a dark glare from the older, who was quick to avert his sight from the drawing to look up. “no, i’m not. i told you, hyeongjun-ah, i don’t care about them.”

“maybe not consciously, but _look!”_ he took Minhee’s sketchbook and wandered through its pages. “how long have you been doing this? two weeks? three? look at how many people you’ve drawn. and it started right after your colour awakening. it _fits_.”

“or making me see colour gave me a creativity sparkle. as i said before.” He rolled his eyes at his best friend. 

“You really think that’s all after saying those things five minutes ago? about the drawings?” hyeongjun sighed at the older. “that’s normal, you know. You found them but aren’t together. You have never even said a word to them when your colour sight formed and your mind is craving it. craving _them_. so it’s trying to recall how they looked like so you can find them again.”

his best friend turned at him. His face was stiff and he wasn’t sure if he was deep in thought, considering his words, or annoyed by them. or even if he was both uneasy about what he had said and overthinking the possibility of hyeongjun being right.

it made him want to kiss his worries away. but he knew he shouldn’t. _couldn’t_. so he pointed at the sketchbook, making the blond avert from his own eyes. “and him, ducky boy? i think he’s the closest drawing you have of what they look like.”

it took a few seconds for the silence that came after that was broken, but it wasn’t the reaction he desired. instead of a reply, Minhee just scoffed and turned away from him. “you’re way too invested in _my_ soulmate.”

hyeongjun froze at that. well, that was true. sometimes he himself wondered if he wasn’t crossing any unspoken line. he gulped down hard, as if something was stuck in his throat. “You’re my best friend, Minhee-yah. i just want what’s best for you.”

“and that’s a boyfriend?” He laughed. “i will be happy with or without a boyfriend. or even _girlfriend_ at that… so you don’t have to worry about me.”

the shorter boy rolled his eyes, deciding to end their conversation there. they had finished their drinks and cake already, but somehow the place was calming and neither of them wanted to get up and call it a day. at least on his end. hyeongjun liked Minhee’s presence, even if he was just doodling on his sketchbook in silence, humming to a random sound that crossed his mind, or telling him some dumb story that happened to him earlier that day. it made him feel at ease.

he liked his presence. he liked him.

“what about you, hyeongjun-ah?” his companion asked after a while.

“hmm?”

“what about _your_ soulmate?” Minhee asked him, staring at him with his sweet, caring eyes. “if soulmates are so important like you say, something we all crave even without realizing it, what about you? why aren’t you looking for _your_ destined one?”

upon hearing that, he forced a smile. “You’re here, Minhee-yah. i don’t need anyone else.”

his best friend cringed at that. “why did i ask,” he deadpanned, but his cheeks did become pinker. He liked that the younger valued their friendship more than anything.

and that was enough for hyeongjun.

* * *

“oh wow, dohyon-ah. you coming at such an hour? it’s not even seven yet. the others are going to take a while to arrive,” was the first thing the young boy heard as he stepped inside the café. he rolled his eyes at the barista - who also happened to be his older brother - but refused to verbally refute him, just shrugging it off instead. “do you want the usual iced americano?” hangyul asked once the boy was standing in front of the cashier.

“yes, please,” he said, immediately moving to grab his wallet. but before he could actually take it from inside his bag, he was stopped.

“no, no, young boy. put that down. this one’s on me.”

the kid shot him a look of disapproval. “hyung. you can’t do that all the time.”

“i don’t do that all the time. the last three times i let you pay for it. not that i’m keeping it on check or anything of the sort.”

“sure you aren’t,” he teased but let it be, sitting by the counter and looking around.

jinwoo hadn’t arrived? huh, that was odd. their deal was to come by at six at most, but he had gotten lost on his music homework and left late. he had imagined that the other had gone straight to the coffee shop after his own self-study, noticing that he was taking too long. he was nowhere to be seen though, so dohyon opened his phone. maybe he had texted something.

but no. he hadn’t.

> (me @ 3:19pm) hey!!! we going to the café rite  
> (me @ 3:19pm) the hyungs miss you!!!!
> 
> (jinwoo @ 3:21pm) and i miss them!!!  
> (jinwoo @ 3:21pm) dw im coming!!!!! >_<
> 
> (me @ 3:22pm) nice
> 
> (me @ 6:16pm) aww dang i am gna be late!!!!  
> (me @ 6:16pm) you shouldve texted me when i didnt appear on ur usual meetup place!!!!!!!!!!  
> (me @ 6:17pm) are u already there???? dang sorry haenami, be there in ten at most!!!!!!
> 
> (me @ 6:24pm) hey, im already at the shop  
> (me @ 6:24pm) where r you???
> 
> (jinwoo @ 6:24pm) uhm  
> (jinwoo @ 6:25pm) i maybe  
> (jinwoo @ 6:25pm) wont………… manage…………? to go there?  
> (jinwoo @ 6:25pm) sorry :(
> 
> (me @ 6:27pm) what? again?  
> (me @ 6:27pm) jinwoo youve been giving excuses for weeks now  
> (me @ 6:27pm) this is fishy and im starting to get worried
> 
> (jinwoo @ 6:27pm) dohyon-ah dont worry abt me you big baby  
> (jinwoo @ 6:27pm) im at taeseung-hyungies   
> (jinwoo @ 6:27pm) he just wanted something from me and i cant rly meet you rn before finishing this
> 
> (me @ 6:28pm) ‘this’ being?
> 
> (jinwoo @ 7:32pm) uhm. his stuff. im not sure i can tell you
> 
> (me @ 6:32pm) jinwoo-yah… 
> 
> (jinwoo @ 7:35pm) well talk by lunch tmr ok?  
> (jinwoo @ 7:35pm) i gtg  
> (jinwoo @ 7:35pm) sowwy, ill make it up 4 u somehow!!!!!!!!!!!!  
> (jinwoo @ 7:35pm) luv u<333

dohyon wanted to answer, but he was so taken aback and worried that he didn’t know what to say. all he could do was stare at the messages and wonder where all of this was coming from. maybe he should ask taeseung, who was a hyung one year older than them, or his best friend, woojin. he didn’t think that either of them were responsible for his odd behaviour, but he guessed that if he’s been hanging out so much with them, they’d know something. or, at least, share his worries.

he should probably pay him a visit, dohyon thought as he started texting the older boy. 

“something’s going on,” hangyul told him as he handed the younger one his drink. “you’re frowning.”

he was quick to close his phone before his brother could eavesdrop and grabbed his iced americano. “that’s my usual face.”

“no, it’s not. your usual face is cute, but when you frown, it’s ugly.” the older didn’t think twice before refuting, but despite the teasing tone, dohyon knew he was genuinely worried.

he rolled his eyes. “it’s nothing, really. i’d tell you right away, otherwise.”

“would you, really?” he asked with a brow up. and, well, he had a point. he wouldn’t, especially because there _was_ something going on and he refused to share it.

“do you always bother your clients with unwanted questions, hangyul-hyung?” someone talked by his side and it was when dohyon realized the seat by his left was occupied. a blond student had his chin rested on his left fist, his freckled face really young. he wondered if he was his age, but by his uniform, he guessed he was either taeseung or eunsang’s age. there was _no way_ he was already a senior in high school, though. he looked too young to be that much older, even when he was smirking teasingly at his brother’s direction. 

“no, that’s for you only,” he casually replied back.

“doesn’t feel like it. he seems uncomfortable,” he said, turning to the middle schooler. “you shouldn’t let this hyung butt in your life this much. don’t worry about being impolite. if you don’t make him stop early, he’s gonna keep it forever and you’ll regret not doing it before.”

the stranger’s words made him laugh. “trust me, i know that well. anyway, thanks for the drink, hyung. i’ll be leaving now.”

“already? without even seeing eunsang and the others?” hangyul questioned him, but since the younger showed no signs to answer, he let it be. “wait for my shift to end at least. i’ll take you home.”

dohyon turned at the barista. “oh, i’m not… exactly heading home.”

he ignored the way his brother stared at him. brow up. a concerned expression staring at him. “okay. text me when you get wherever you’re going to, okay? and if you need me to pick you up too.”

“sometimes i think you forget i’m no longer a baby.”

“that’s because, no matter what you tell me, you still are one in my eyes.” he rolled his eyes. “but it’s fine. see you, bro. and say hi to jinwoo for me.”

that made him pause to frown his eyes. “how did you know i was going to meet him?”

“your face says it all.”

dohyon didn’t know what that meant. but he decided to pay him no mind and walk away from the shop. far away from his sibling’s questioning.

…

once the door was closed, minhee was quick to turn to the other behind the cashier and give him a look. the realization hit him a bit too late. “so _that’s_ your baby brother? he doesn’t look anything like you. and totally not like a baby.”

“he’s my _brother_ , not my son. and he’s still a senior in middle school. he’s a big baby.” hangyul shrugged.

“he’s, like, sixteen then? he looks my age though,” he pondered more to himself than to the barista, realizing he was two years older than the other, but he still heard it and laughed at that. “he really is a baby then.”

“well, let us not talk about my adorable brother,” the other started. “you came alone today. how unusual. where’s your bestie?”

“hyeongjunie? who knows,” he admitted in a low tone, eating his cake by himself this time. he tried not to sigh. he didn’t want the older to worry for him. but that was impossible. lee hangyul was a teasing hyung, but he knew when to be serious and tried his best to take care of those younger than him.

so even with the smallest sigh leaving his mouth, it was enough for the barista to stare in his direction. “did you guys fight?”

“no?” he answered in a questioning tone. “not really. but i think there’s something up with him.”

“is that so? you two seemed to be like always yesterday though?” the older tilted his head, sitting on a nearby chair facing minhee.

“you really _do_ love bothering your customers, huh?” the blond frowned. “hyung, don’t you have some work to do? cakes to bake? coffee to brew?”

“do you see anyone new getting in?” hangyul refuted with a shrug. “besides, you seem like you need someone to listen to you. someone other than hyeongjun.”

“and that should be you?”

“well, not necessarily. but even though we’re not the closest friends, i know you don’t easily open up to others.”

damn it. he hated that the barista had a good point. 

“no need to tell me if you don’t want to, really,” he continued after a long period of silence. “but i’m here to help if i can, ok? and if you allow me.”

minhee sighed again, giving in. “you know how two months ago or so i got my colour sight here? well, since then hyeongjun has been a bit weird. at first, he was trying his best to help me find them and trying to convince me i should make an effort too. this is why we started coming by almost every day. but now he’s getting distant from me...” he exhaled softly and looked over at hangyul to gauge his reaction. hangyul simply nodded, signalling for him to continue, so he did. “we still talk and all. he is just acting a bit secretive and not talking to me as freely. he even stopped bringing up subjects for us to talk and mostly just hears what i have to say. which is not even much! so it’s awkward, but also so damn _confusing_. i think there’s something going on and he’s not telling me. or maybe i did something and he’s too annoyed to tell me, so i can’t fix it.”

“why don’t you ask him?”

minhee bit the inside of his cheeks before replying. “how do you ask someone about something when you don’t even know what that something is?”

“you walk over him, look in his direction, and say, ‘hey, hyeongjun-ah, my good friend! i felt you were being a little distant these days. is there something the matter and is there something i can do to make it better?’, and then he’ll tell you.”

“i highly doubt that will work on him.” he sighed again. “he isn’t the best about feelings, to be honest. not his own, at least.” the blond caught himself scoffing at his own words. _in that aspect, we are_ quite _alike._

“…for real?” hangyul said with a frown, tilting his head. the younger didn’t judge his disbelief. it wasn’t an unreasonable one considering how outgoing hyeongjun seemed to be, how much he talked, how kindly he treated others, and was always reliable when trying to help with other’s personal issues. but when it was about _his_ personal issues? he’d rather not say a word.

“yeah. he’d probably evade it or tell me it’s not big enough for me to worry about,” minhee started carefully. “i can’t think of anything that could be the reason for that.”

the other hummed in thought, trying to sort out what the younger had told him before replying. “well, didn’t you say it started when you got your colour sight? maybe _that’s_ the root of his odd behaviour?”

the high schooler stared at the older man in confusion. “how so?”

“you know how he cares about soulmates. maybe he’s jealous that you found yours, but is thinking little about it?” hangyul started, tilting his head. “i mean, he hasn’t found his soulmate yet, right?”

“not that i know of.” minhee shrugged. “but he said he doesn’t think about his destined one. it’s kinda odd, though? how he cares so much about soulmates, has such idealization about it, and is more stressed about my own soulmate than i am, but claims he doesn’t want to search for his own? he even said that since he has me he doesn’t care about them.” he sighed. “he shouldn’t be jealous of me if that’s the case.”

the barista stayed quiet for a few seconds. “did he tell you that? about not caring about his soulmate because he has you?”

“yeah,” the blond said while looking at his drink, taking a sip of it. suddenly, something clicked in his head. slowly, he began raising his eyesight to the older. he didn’t like the way he stared back, deep in thought. “ _what_.”

it made the older sigh. “nothing, minhee-yah. let it be. but back into your issue with hyeongjun, i really think you should just talk to him about him or something.”

“it’ll just be like brushing it under the carpet, though. and he’ll still try to make me find my soulmate because that’s ‘the best for me’ while acting distant on other subjects. it’ll be like nothing has been said.”

“maybe. maybe not. even if he doesn’t tell you what’s going on, it’ll be a way to tell him that you care? and maybe he’ll tell when he feels it’s the right time to.” hangyul patted the high schooler’s on his head even though he knew he wouldn’t really be pleased with it. “you know, soulmates are complex and hard to understand. it’s not always the perfect story people tell in movies and idealize even since they were babies. sometimes it’s a rollercoaster ride and there are too many obstacles for the duo. sometimes they don’t even work out the way people want them to.”

that caught minhee’s interest, who rested his cup on the counter to stare more attentively to the barista. “did you have trouble with your boyfriend? i thought your story was smooth.”

“oh, it really was. i guess i was lucky that my relationship with Seungyoun-hyung was so perfect it could become a hollywood best seller.” that made the older laugh alone. “but it took us some time to get on the right track. even so, i know some people who haven’t had the same nice ending. at least not with their soulmate. _when_ they had one.”

the other blinked. “you know someone who doesn’t have a soulmate?” he left an enthusiastic noise as hangyul nodded. “i thought that wasn’t possible to happen… but how do they know they have no soulmate? or did they die?”

“no! god, no. no one died. he— _they_ were born with their sight already formed. they’ve never seen life in greyscale. that’s how they concluded they must be destined to no one.”

“ _wow_. that must have been weird in elementary school.”

“oh, you bet. the teacher was really surprised they could colour scenarios so accurately at such a young age. but no one really noticed it, i think. since we all just saw grey.” hangyul spoke in a nostalgic tone and minhee caught himself smiling at it. whoever that person was, they were clearly important to the barista in some way. “there are people i know who tried dating their soulmate and didn’t work out. and there have even been instances of where someone’s soulmate is destined to be with someone else completely different. point is,” he cleared his throat, “despite us being told that it’s the only thing definite about our lives, besides that it’ll one day end, of course, it’s not the case at all. so you shouldn’t worry about your soulmate. and you should tell hyeongjun that you are fine without stressing so much about it, so he can drop it.”

the blond caught himself nodding at that. “i could… try. thanks, hyung. i owe you.”

“nah, don’t fret. although i would appreciate a few tips.” he winked at his dongsaeng.

minhee was ready to open his mouth, but then the door opened and the bell could be heard. hangyul’s attention was quickly diverted. so he reasoned he should let the conversation die there, poking his almost finished cake with the spoon before eating it.

…

“my parents found out i can see colour,” dongpyo admitted randomly as they were having their drinks. he sighed, taking a sip of his sprite as eunsang and junho both showed shocked expressions.

“and how did they react?” eunsang asked carefully, tilting his head to give his friend a better look.

he was sure his expression was stiff, and it was most likely the reason why his two friends showed more concern. he knew they already knew dongpyo’s parents weren’t exactly the nicest. he was good at concealing his emotions, with forcing a poker face and telling everyone it was nothing worrisome. yet, he couldn’t stop the frown as he remembered what had happened.

_«he hated check-up days the most. dongpyo wasn’t the healthiest kid alive and, thus, had to often visit his doctor. years passed, almost two decades passed, and nothing out of ordinary happened. his exams always said the same thing. it was all just a waste of time, in his opinion. but it was something relieving for his mother. his father didn’t think it was too troublesome either. it was just him who saw it all as a bother._

_for some reason, though, things weren’t as normal as it has been for so long. the air was tenser and the report was longer. his parents weren’t smiling as the doctor never seemed to stop talking, translating the many lines and words on the paper in his hands. dongpyo didn’t get a thing. he assumed that they were speaking in adult language and toned their voices out, staring at the letters and trying to decipher it himself. but it caught his attention that the paper wasn’t fully black and white as he had previously thought. “what is this red note right here? what does it say?” he pointed and asked without much thought, in between the doctor’s words._

_he was taken aback by the silence that followed suit. the doctor seemed to be nervous to answer him, but the one who spoke instead was his father. “you can see colours now?”_

_the kid wanted to run away. months had passed but he didn’t want to tell them because he_ knew _how they would react, and so far he had successfully avoided it leaving his mouth. it was easy, since both his parents worked a lot and they barely had time to bond. and when they did, they always questioned him about school. there was no reason to question him about his soulmate if they didn’t know he had already, somehow, found them. but did it have to happen like this? did he have to slip it like that, while in front of a doctor, and such a delicate moment? “y— yeah. but that’s not important, what is—”_

_“why didn’t you tell us right away?” his mother interrupted him. “we must meet her and arrange everything as soon as possible.”_

_“Honey, there’s no need to hurry about it.”_

_“of course there is! who knows what’s going to happen to our son. look where we are.” she pointed at the office. “and if he can see colour now, it means they’re already connected. they must be together as fate wants them to before they can’t.”_

_“but dongpyo is just eighteen,” his father refuted and it deeply angered the kid. even if he was being defended, he knew the adult agreed with the way the woman thought. also, hearing your parents discuss you as if you weren’t there wasn’t the most pleasing experience of the world. “it’ll eventually happen, like fate planned for him years ago. we don’t need to hurry about it.”_

_“that’s not what these results are telling us, though.”_

_"i don’t think you need to worry about them that much. not right now, mrs," the doctor spoke again. “those exams are just overall check-ups, so it might be nothing. we should book another exam that will give us more accurate results.”»_

dongpyo sighed at the memory. “it went _great_. they kept assuming they were a girl and told me i should marry her as soon as possible because it’s what fate wants. i was bombarded with questions about _her_ then bombarded with disbelief when i told them i didn’t really meet my soulmate yet.” he took a breath. “at first they thought i was lying or hiding _her,_ but then they decided to take my word and not stress about it since, if that’s what fate wants, it must be fine. except that they now keep then telling me how they wonder what _she_ is like every time i’m around.”

“damn,” junho said after a while. “that bad, huh?”

“that sounds annoying. i feel bad for you.”

“it’s whatever. it was pretty much how i had imagined they’d react.” dongpyo shrugged. "i don’t know what i would rather have: them having everything exactly as they want so they’d stop bothering me so much about how to live my life or them having the exact opposite so it’d make them have to accept it because _it’s what fate wants_ ,” he said the last few words in a mocking tone. “and by that, i mean a cute, tall boy.”

“gay.”

“precisely. thank you for validating my sexuality, eunsang-ah.” the short one grinned at the other. 

“do you think they’d change their mind if your soulmate ends up being a boy?” junho asked as he tilted his head. “because it’s who was destined to you.”

that made dongpyo sigh sadly. “i highly doubt it. they say that they’ll accept whatever gets destined. but when it goes outside the box, they start doubting others, saying they’re lying or being deceitful because fate created men and women and they _must_ be united and all that crap. they can’t see that whoever united straight couples also decided on other’s destiny.”

“they would be surprised people like me exist,” the youngest at the table mused. “two soulmates and both males. also, i’m not dating the one that gave me my colour sight.”

“if they knew i know someone like you, i’d be forbidden to be friends with any of you three,” dongpyo agreed with a nervous laugh. “they’d call you a bad influence and attention seekers, or something of the sorts.”

“well, they’re not that wrong. i do love attention.”

the older laughed at his boyfriend’s commentary. “that’s why you got two soulmates. so we can shower you with it.”

“and you don’t hear me complaining about it,” eunsang joked as he gave a small peck on the other’s nose. their friend in common pretended to puke at the scene. “talking about soulmates, it’s been a while since we last saw Dohyon come in. He used to always visit his hyung once per week but now it’s barely once per month,” he sighed.

“maybe it’s to balance out the fact we’ve been coming by every day for months now.”

“i’m pretty sure that’s not how it works, junho-yah.” the small one laughed at that. “i don’t think it’s anything to worry about, eunsang-ah. he’s graduating middle school this year and he studies a lot even after school. it must be just that.”

“i hope you are right.” the tallest but youngest nodded at his words, letting some of his concern be washed away. “but still. it’s soon going to be summer break. He should have fun and go out.”

“we can always watch a movie with the entire crew,” dongpyo suggested enthusiastically. “dohyon gets a break from all his studying, eunsang doesn’t need to worry so much about his best friend isolating himself during the entire month, and junho gets to have hours where you two can cuddle all you want. also i won’t be the only one third-wheeling _that_ , so it’s a big win for us all.”

“don’t you think you’re reaching too far? he’s always been like this when his school has a break,” junho carefully spoke after a while. “i don’t think that’s really needed. and we already include him in so many of our activities too. if he feels like doing something different, he’ll ask us if we’re free. besides, he has his own friends too. we could do something among just ourselves for once.”

“sure, but including him doesn’t hurt.” eunsang raised a brow. “even if he turns us down, asking would be nice.”

the older stared at his boyfriend with a poker face. “okay, fine. whatever. i was just saying.”

“then it’s settled! we can ask him about that later,” dongpyo butted in, forcing a smile on his lips. “for now let’s enjoy our day elsewhere.”

“what? really? you won’t wait for a little longer?”

“yeah, we often stay at least an hour and a half here.”

the couple had a point. every day, since his colour sight was formed, they’d religiously return to this coffee shop and hope to cross ways with the one destined to be with dongpyo. it has just been thirty minutes since they entered, with their orders recently arrived and not yet finished. still, the small boy couldn’t help but feel agitated. he didn’t know why. “well, yeah, but i’m bored. and we had finals last week. i need some distraction before our grades are delivered. so, what about we go to the arcade and play something?”

his two friends shared a look, doing their weird telepathy thing before they turned back to the other. “let’s go.” it was eunsang who replied to him, smiling wide as he grabbed his drink.

junho nodded at them. “i’m going to end you both.”

“with that aim of yours? i doubt.” dongpyo winked as he walked out of the café, both friends behind him as they held hands.

they were cute. there was no way to deny it. the scene was so sweet. and even if they had troubles at first, everyone knew they were adorably made for each other. despite always joking that it was something disgusting to see, he always felt warm at the thought. but it also made him feel slightly bitter, and he hoped to find his soulmate soon. he wanted to be this sappy and happy with someone else too.

* * *

“all the kids are here today, huh,” Yohan heard his coworker say to his right. staring at him with a confused tilt on his head, the other cleared his throat as he proceeded to continue his line of thought. “you know. _the_ kids. our six kids,” hangyul repeated, pointing to one table. “dohyon, eunsang, junho, and dongpyo are all united. which is not the most frequent scene as dohyon has piano classes most days and the rest have classes until eight or so. but i also meant those two.” he pointed to another, almost across the place but closer to the entrance. “minhee and hyeongjun. who would have thought that all our regulars would be together like this. that never happens.”

“we have more regulars than them.”

“i meant the underage regulars, of course. adults don’t count. we need caffeine every day or we can’t function.” the younger shrugged at that. Yohan caught himself agreeing with the affirmation.

“well, okay. good observation skills, I guess. but it’s probably just because of summer break that they’re all here at once.” He laughed after a beat. “but what about it? they have nothing in common besides being our regulars.”

hangyul pondered about it. “they’re high schoolers.”

“dohyon isn’t.”

“he will be soon. and once he graduates middle school the rest will still be in their final high school year. it’s not that off.”

“they’re not even from the same school,” the older reasoned. “and from all we know your parents might put dohyon on a school that isn’t either these two.”

“damn, you’re boring. stop refuting everything i say,” hangyul laughed at that. “anyway, i doubt that’d happen. mom would love him to have hyungs to look over him even if it’s not exactly music-oriented. if it’s not too expensive he could keep learning outside of school.”

Yohan could only nod as he said that, not sure how else to react. but it wasn’t like he was gotten much room to do so as he noticed a customer raising their hand through the corner of his eye, signalling towards the baristas. he was about to tell hangyul to check on the table, the one that belonged to dohyon and his three hyungs, but was found alone behind the counter. 

huh. _okay_. how odd... He was there two seconds ago talking nonsense. but now he has work to do he vanishes. his coworker was something else.

since he had no choice, Yohan walked towards the one who raised his arm. “hey, dongpyo. what would you like?”

“can we have a very loud birthday celebration? and a free slice of cake? pretty please?”

“these aegyo eyes aren’t going to work on him, hyung—”

“son dongpyo, if you don’t drop it—”

“come on, junho-yah, my love. it’ll be nice! it’s not every day that you can celebrate your birthday with all of us like this!”

“and i’m happy about that!”

the barista stared confusedly as everyone sitting down at the table spoke at once. “wait, wait. slow down, kids. you want a _what_?”

the oldest shook his head as he blushed in embarrassment. “hyung, i _beg_ you. forget about it.”

“no! junho-yah, it’s your special day! dongpyo is doing you a favour!”

“ _kids_ ,” Yohan cleared his throat. 

at that, the shortest one rolled his eyes, still laughing at the commotion. “you know, it’s junho’s birthday today. and we were wondering if we could get to celebrate here! everyone wishing him a happy birthday… and free cake. that last part is _really_ important.”

“junho loves cake.”

“you two are just saying that because _you_ want free cake,” the oldest refuted. “are you really willing to bother strangers just for that?”

“yes.”

“why not?”

“i think dongpyo-hyung and Eunsang-hyung have a good point, junho-hyung,” dohyon said with his eyes shining. “it’s for a good cause. that being _cake_. free cake.”

Yohan laughed at that. well, they got a point because free food was _always_ good. especially something as sweet as cake. “that’s fair, I guess. you are lucky I adore you all.”

“hyung! what about me?”

“wow, yohan-hyung just said we are his favourites!” the youngest at the table exclaimed.

“…I did _not_ , nam dohyon,” he cleared up. but before the other could complain, he started clapping his hands. soon, both eunsang and dongpyo were clapping too, singing loud to junho. him, who seemed like he’d die out of embarrassment any second now for being the centre of not only his friends’ attention, but of the entire shop. sure, by ‘entire shop,’ it didn’t mean _that_ many people. the place wasn’t as crowded as some other days. but summer break did just start and there were a few newcomers here and there, making the place feel full. also, there was hyeongjun and minhee across the place, looking at the commotion.

junho had all the right to be mortified.

“i hate you. i hate you all,” the birthday boy said in a low voice. “even my boyfriend is conspiring against me. oh my god, i’m gonna die.”

“don’t be a drama queen, that’s _my_ role.”

“will you still die if hyung gives us the free cake?” eunsang asked with a brow up, a hand caressing his back.

they all watched as he bit his cheeks at the question. “maybe… not,” he finished after a while, eyeing up to the adult who was still standing next to their table.

“I got the hint,” the barista laughed at them, ruffling the oldest boy’s hair. “your free cake is coming right up. don’t let those three eat it though. it’s _your_ birthday.”

“what?! but it was _my_ idea!”

“dongpyo, my dear friend, if you don’t stop complaining, i’ll make you pay for my cake,” junho threatened with a not-so-innocent smile before turning to Yohan. “thanks, hyung. you’re the best.”

“I try.” He grinned at the high schoolers, moving behind the counter and getting a slice of cake he’s seen the kid order many times before.

… 

“wow, that dude is having his birthday here,” Minhee commented as he watched the commotion. “out of all places he could celebrate, why a coffee shop?”

“he doesn’t look the happiest though,” hyeongjun pointed out with a pout. however, he was still automatically clapping along. “i kinda understand him. everyone’s looking. i’d cry if it were me.”

“you always cry,” his best friend shrugged. 

“ _shush_.”

“i’m just saying.” He gulped down his drink nervously, letting the conversation die.

He was tense. hyeongjun didn’t know why, but he could just tell. he wasn’t sure when it started, but it was recent and it was awkward. it was probably his own fault though because he’s been hurting in silence for way too long and staying around the older without spilling a thing was hard. he’s given him excuses and Minhee hadn’t shown any signs of suspecting or distrusting his words. it didn’t mean that the air around them hadn’t gotten thicker though.

there was an elephant sitting with them, watching as the younger devoured the cake alone - the same slice of red velvet they ate every day _together_. his companion, though, was just staring at his hands, saying that he was a bit unwell for eating his half. it was _obviously_ untrue as he never refused sweets. unless it was mint chocolate flavoured ice cream. He wasn’t drawing either or initiating any small talk, which was two signs that he was stiff around hyeongjun. that something was off. and that made him feel even worse about this entire situation.

“hey, are we cool?” the tall one suddenly said after a while.

“hmm?”

“i asked, are we cool? you and i?” He spoke carefully. “we’re still friends and all, right?”

hyeongjun didn’t get where this was going. “of course we are. best of friends at that. why are you asking?”

“are you sure? like, _sure_ sure?” the older started again. “i mean, i can’t help but feel like there’s something bothering you somehow? and i think it started after i got my colour sight.” _ah, so_ this _is where this conversation is going_ , he realized. he tried not to show any reaction, but he was certain his friend noticed his brow flicking a bit. “and, like, i know you care about this stuff very much and take it all very seriously. so i guess that’s the reason why there’s something off. and whatever that is, you’re not telling me.” He took a small breath after finishing his rambling. “you know we’re still the best friends ever, right?” He tilted his head.

“y— yeah. we still are. forever.”

“and you trust me?”

“yeah, i do—”

“so you can tell me what’s wrong, right?” that made hyeongjun gulp. “even if it’s nothing i can fix or if you think it’s silly, you know i’m here for you, right?”

oh no. Minhee was giving him the sweetest look, but even so, it was sad. it hurt to watch. he knew he hadn’t been exactly himself since his best friend (kind of) met his soulmate, but he was hoping it was left unnoticed. apparently, it wasn’t. 

but it wasn’t like he could tell him. it wasn’t something that came up just recently, just a few months ago as the blond had assumed. it just became unbearable for him from that point onwards. but it’s always been there at the back of his mind, worrying him. and it wasn’t something easy to say. sure, Minhee was his best friend of years and would probably support him in anything, but… this? this was not even easy to explain. imagine for someone else to hear and understand. He’d hate his younger friend if he’d known. he could not tell him.

“ _i know that_ ,” he simply said a couple of minutes after, breaking the awkward silence that has blossomed. The older was left taken aback at that, and it was then that he realized how harshly his tone had been. it wasn’t intentional, but well, he wasn’t going to clear it up. he was getting a bit annoyed at this whole soulmate thing.

“i… didn’t mean to offend you. i’m just reminding you that regardless of me having a soulmate or not, i’m here and will never leave you—”

“and i _get_ it, Kang Minhee,” he snapped, raising his voice a bit. “but there are certain things that are out of your grasp, okay? some things you’re better off not knowing.”

his best friend blinked at that, mouth open yet no sound leaving it. 

hyeongjun had screwed up _good_ and he knew that. He didn’t deserve it. He was not guilty of _this_ , but somehow he couldn’t stop his anger. 

“have i done something—”

“ _no_. You haven’t done a single thing. there’s nothing you can do. fate just loves some more than others. and apparently, it favours you more than me.” he scoffed at his older classmate. “how can you just ignore the fact you have someone out there to call yours? they probably saw colour the same day you did. they’re probably _dying_ to know you, but you just don’t care?”

“you think i don’t care? why do you think i come here every day then? even when you gave me silly excuses to bail on me, i came here and stayed on my own waiting for them to magically appear. which still didn’t happen despite you being so sure it eventually will.”

“just because you’re here it doesn’t mean much. You said it _yourself_. you’re not searching for them. you’re just sitting here expecting them to magically pop up.”

“well, it’s not like it’s my number one priority in life,” Minhee scoffed. “but i’m still here, aren’t i? why are _you_ complaining? this was _your_ suggestion to begin with! because getting a significant other who’s destined to you is the only thing that matters, apparently. go find _your_ soulmate if that’s so relevant for you.”

“maybe i don’t need to!”

“oh, yeah? why? am i _that_ much more important than a soulmate?”

hyeongjun opened his mouth to refute, but somehow, he couldn’t say a thing. he knew he had a good reason not to look for his destined one, but… he’d kept it a secret for so long from Minhee, it was hard to suddenly talk about it. especially in the scenario that they were currently in where they were arguing about it.

his best friend was still looking angrily at him, but after a few seconds, his facial expression changed into one of surprise. hyeongjun hated that he didn’t even need to say the words for him to get what crossed his mind. he hated how well the other boy could read him. 

“you— you already— since when?”

he took a deep breath, letting some time pass. it didn’t feel like anything passed though. it felt like time had stopped instead. it was torture. “since we met in middle school.”

“and why haven’t you—” He started but didn’t finish. it took him a while to let hyeongjun’s words fully sink in, and once it did, realization struck his face.

_«since we met in middle school.»_

“oh. _oh_. you mean— you mean that i—”

“yeah,” the other could only reply weakly. he didn’t need to say it. it was clear what he wanted to say. 

he was certain that his friend hadn’t liked to hear it. however, he didn’t react at first. just kept staring at him and waiting for… something. maybe an explanation. or maybe laughter and him saying it was all just a prank. but it was obvious that none of these would happen. it was too hard to explain it on the spot and sadly… it was all true. 

before hyeongjun could try to change the subject or apologize, suddenly, Minhee shot up from his seat, making a huge scene as he harshly scooted his chair away from the table. He rushed towards the exit, leaving behind a confused hyeongjun.

as expected though.

hyeongjun knew he wouldn’t understand.

… 

Yohan could only stare as minhee hurried out of the shop, leaving his shocked best friend behind. he thought the small one would follow him, but no. he became sad and stared at his half eaten cake, no longer touching it.

what had just happened?

“uhm, i think that maybe you should check on him,” hangyul said after a moment. he returned from the storage room after a while and Yohan couldn’t help but wonder why he would always excuse himself and hide there.

but, also, Yohan himself had already used that room to hide sometimes, so he just let the thought vanish and stared at him. “what? you mean hyeongjun?” He questioned even if he knew who he meant before his answer arrived in the form of a nod. “you want _me_ to check on him? why would I? it’d probably just worsen his day if he had to talk to me of all people.”

“kim yohan, don't belittle yourself. you’re a nice hyung and friend. i’m sure he wouldn’t mind if someone checked on him. especially if that someone is you.”

that made him raise a brow at the younger barista. “do you know something?”

“how would i? i’m just a random university student trying to save up money to move in with my boyfriend. i know nothing.” he shrugged, but somehow it felt fake. he could have been genuine too, but his guard was so high that everything sounded shady. who knows. one could never guess what was going on in hangyul’s head. he could have been genuine too, but his guard was so high that everything sounded shady.“you like the kid and despite you not seeing it, he doesn’t despise you. having someone to listen to him could be good and you being that person would not cause him any harm. much the opposite. it’d help him more than you believe.”

Yohan couldn’t help but doubt him. sure, hyeongjun showed signs of not hating him _absolutely_ , but he often showed signs of not being entirely pleased with his presence either. and if he was having issues with his best friend of all people, it was probably something serious and out of his reach.

still… the high schooler looked so… _pitiful_. he was so sad and it hurt him to see hyeongjun, who was always so bright and smiley, sulk like that. in the end, even with his doubtful thoughts, Yohan wanted to reach out to him and try to cheer him up.

“hey, buddy… are you okay?” Yohan asked when he finally walked up to hyeongjun.

the kid took his time to stare at the barista, attention previously on the cake. it looked like he was fighting away tears. “no,” he admitted in a trembly voice. “but it’s inevitable, so it doesn’t matter.”

“don’t say that,” he started softly, allowing himself to sit across from the other, where minhee previously was. “of course it matters.”

“no, hyung. you don’t get it.” hyeongjun sighed. “it really is inevitable. it’s fate. i can’t do anything about it.”

 _oh_. Yohan blinked, letting realization hit him. he’s talking about _soulmates_. which meant that he had found his destined one.

but why does he look so sad about it if it’s what he wanted for so long? and why did his friend react that way? did he not know who it was or did he not know that his friend had his sight formed up until now? why would he leave annoyed if that was the case? is it someone he doesn’t think would do hyeongjun any good?

many questions formed in his mind, but he reasoned that trying to find the answers right now would not help the teary boy at all. so the older man ignored them and cleared his throat. “I see. well, fate isn’t exactly something we can change, but we can adapt ourselves as we please. fate sometimes is a bit of a douche and decides to have its fun by playing with our lives. but in the end, it’s still _our_ lives.”

hyeongjun sniffed. “it’s not fair. it can’t promise us a happy future with someone predestined and then play around with our feelings. that’s too cruel.”

Yohan hated that he agreed to that. He had thought about it for a long time too. why would everyone expect this one specific thing since birth but not get that in the end? and even if they did, most of the time, it took too long for them to be happily ever after. or the destined couple had their issues before finally being able to live together, happily until the day they die.

hangyul had his own issues after meeting seungyoun, who at the time didn’t live in korea and had to replan his life to be with him. eunsang and dohyon saw colours with someone that didn’t match them even after trying. junho had to deal with the fact his soulmate had his sight formed years before they ever met. 

and there was also him. He’s never seen a world of only the colour grey.

now, hyeongjun was hurt because of who his soulmate was. whoever that person happened to be. fate was a _big_ douchebag when it wanted.

“it sadly isn’t fair at all.” He sighed before continuing. “but we can still walk around its plans. fate is not definitive. and even when it gives us someone as their quote-unquote, destined one, it doesn’t mean they are the most important person ever. or that they are your only love in life. or _anything_ like that. it can be a best friend. it can be a stranger that will teach you something and leave. you can be happy with or without them, seeing them everyday, just once in a lifetime, or not at all.”

“i don’t believe that,” hyeongjun said in a low tone. “even if they cross your way and leave, they’ll still teach you something. that’s why they’re your destined one. because they’ll change something in you. and i don’t mean just about the colours forming. even if they just cross your way and go away, there will be a reason why they met you. that’s why they are your soulmate and not just another random person.”

those words made him blink in thought. “huh. I hadn’t thought of it like that.”

“it’s fine. i guess we have different ways of seeing the world.” the kid shrugged in a melancholic way. 

Yohan had to appreciate hyeongjun for a moment. was he always this… mature? 

“either way, soulmates _are_ important in a way or another. it just doesn’t make sense how sometimes there are odd ends. and why it hurts so much when you’re the one left behind,” hyeongjun finished.

Yohan tilted his head to stare at the other’s profile features. his eyes were no longer threatening to release tears, but they still seemed heavy with sadness. “well, okay. if you believe that they are this important, then I won’t try to convince you they aren’t. but there _is_ someone who is more important in your life than the one you’re in theory destined to be with.”

that seemed to catch hyeongjun’s interest. he tilted his head in curiosity. “who?”

Yohan smiled at the younger. “yourself.”

despite the faint blush that appeared on hyeongjun’s cheeks, his response was a scoff. “not the time to flirt with me, hyung.”

“I don’t mean like that! I mean yourself as in you are important _to you_. and I’m important _to me_. and so on,” he corrected himself after an embarrassed cough. “even if you see soulmates as this important person who will teach you something, you’re still your own person and you should prioritize yourself. they can be anyone. they can be someone who’ll live by your side until your last breath or be someone who you will only meet once. but you live with yourself from birth to death. _you_ should be your number one person _before_ them. you said that soulmates are one of the few certain things in one’s life… but that’s not really it. _you_ are one of the few certain things in your life.”

the high schooler seemed to ponder about it, head down and in thought. it made Yohan wonder if he has ever considered giving himself some spotlight. wondered if he was too busy worrying about his soulmate to really think about himself.

Yohan sighed at the thought. “well, I should get going. I’m still at work after all. but if you ever need someone to talk, you know where to find me, right? or hangyul? or anyone else, really. I’m sure you have plenty of friends to talk about these issues—”

“yohan-hyung,” hyeongjun spoke in a quiet voice, tone soft. 

it made him stop his movements as he was ready to get up from the table. He watched as the smaller boy turned to his direction, face still quite sad but less than before. he was smiling shyly at Yohan. 

“thank you for listening to me. it… was nice of you.”

the barista blinked, not expecting those words. He hoped his face wasn’t too red, considering he couldn’t fight the huge grin that formed on his lips. “you’re more than welcome, hyeongjunie,” he said brightly as he moved back behind the counter.

hangyul raised a brow at yohan as soon as he came back within speaking distance but he was also smirking in a teasingly way. “so in the end, i was right. huh?”

“shut up, lee hangyul,” the older hissed. He’d rather die than admit the other had, indeed, been right.

* * *

it was meant to be an ordinary date. they were together for a good while now - it’d soon be their 300th day together - but rarely had one of these. they had gotten a text earlier from dongpyo who said he wouldn’t join them at the coffee shop this time, which meant it should be just junho and his boyfriend. and once they stared at the message sent into their group chat, the younger turned around with his head slightly tilted and a smirk on his lips, asking him, “ _what if we made it a date, junho-yah?_ ”

all went well for a while, just like one would predict from a coffee date. they got their orders - something more pricey than their usual orders as it was a special event this time - and sat down at their favourite table, chatting vividly and stealing kisses here and there. it was a nice way to finish the day and junho was happy.

but it ended sooner than he anticipated.

“eunsang-ah, sorry for bothering you and junho, but have you heard from dohyon recently?”

the black-haired boy blinked at hangyul who moments before was behind the counter. “no. should i have?” He tilted his head as they both watched the older’s face stiffen, worry evidently growing in his chest.

“mom said he isn’t home yet and every time either her or i try calling him, it gets declined.”

junho watched as his younger boyfriend swallowed hard at that. “i’ll inform you if Dohyon does contact me, hyung. don’t worry.”

hangyul looked like he wanted to argue - _how can i_ not _worry about my little brother?_ \- but he didn’t voice it out loud. instead, he nodded at the two of them and went back to work without another word. 

the younger stayed quiet for a while, but junho already knew that their date was over. even if they did stay in the shop still, Eunsang wouldn’t stop thinking about his younger soulmate and wondering why he was missing. that was not common nam dohyon behaviour. the kid rarely stayed away from home past school hours. he didn’t have that many friends his age and loved staying in his own room, having fun while playing some instrument or composing something on his laptop. and if he ever wanted to go out with friends, he’d inform _every single_ relative to make sure no one would worry for his well being.

it was stupid to feel a little uneasy when his boyfriend silently grabbed his stuff after a few failed attempts of trying to contact the younger. he shouldn’t be jealous of dohyon. and he would deny it if he was asked. still, he knew there was something there that ached. especially at moments like this where their plans had to be changed or cancelled because of something dohyon related.

however, he didn’t say anything and packed his own stuff, following Eunsang out of the café. mostly because this time it seemed that dohyon really needed help.

(besides, he _never_ said anything. he didn’t like confrontation. _especially_ when it was talking to his boyfriend about their dongsaeng.)

“i know where he might be,” the taller one broke the silence a few steps away from the place. his hands were busy with each other, a habit he had when he was nervous. junho wanted to hold it, but he was reluctant to do so. “there’s a place we used to spend a lot when younger… it was our secret place.”

“let’s go there, then,” he began to say, sighing afterwards. “do you have any idea what might have happened to him, though? he isn’t the type to do this.”

“i know.” Eunsang sighed. “i’m not sure. i can’t think of anything, honestly… He hasn’t told me anything recently. nothing that could be worrying. but we haven’t been talking much anyway.” He bit his lips and junho could tell that he was blaming himself. “i’m sure it was something bad. i just hope it isn’t too serious.”

the older grabbed his boyfriend’s arm and rested his head on his shoulder lightly as they kept walking. he didn’t say anything - he didn’t know what to say as he feared to say something and somehow making things worse - but he hoped the action was enough to ease him. to make him calmer.

despite the frustration of having their date cut short, he was worried about dohyon too. he was just sixteen. was not even in high school yet. he was a good kid, had good grades, was very smart - not only in intellect, but he also was mature for his age and had knowledge in many areas such as music and languages - and was very innocent and pure. people called him an ethereal genius. junho, though, knew he just happened to be extremely hardworking and a bit lonely. that was why he was so reserved and so clever. why he treated everyone nicely, but rarely befriended others. why he was always there for those in his circle of friends, but would mostly keep his trouble to himself. people put him on a pedestal, but he was just a kid.

he was approachable and unapproachable at the same time. 

the walk was slightly relaxing, but junho knew that his boyfriend was overthinking during it. wondering what could have happened to the younger and how he could have avoided it if he was a better hyung. junho thought it was silly. Eunsang was a great friend and the best hyung dohyon could ask for, yet he was often doubting his worth. as his lover, he hated it. 

but he didn’t know what to say besides staying by his side. cha junho was bad with words and could only express himself with actions, so that was what he did. 

the place Eunsang called as his and dohyon’s secret hideout turned out to be not that secretive. it was just a bench at this one park they often visited. it’s close to both dohyon and eunsang’s houses and they apparently met there often. the older boy had told the story once he revealed his colours were not formed because of junho, but he had forgotten some details of it. all he remembered was that the specific bench was one a bit further from the park’s central area, so not many people crossed by. that was when the two saw each other for the first time and their colour sight formed.

as the younger had said, the kid was indeed there. he was all alone, sitting down with his head up and staring at the clear but dark sky. 

“Dohyon-ah,” junho’s soulmate called out in a gentle tone, relieved that he’d been right. “i knew you’d be here.”

the middle schooler jumped at his hyung’s voice and at first, he did look at his direction, but it didn’t take long for his face to stiffen before he looked away upon realizing who he was initially looking at. “go home, Hyung. it’s late.”

“no way i’m leaving my favourite dongsaeng alone at such an hour,” he refuted as he came closer, sitting beside dohyon. “Dohyon, baby, can you tell your hyung what is going on?”

“no,” dohyon was quick to reply, voice hoarse and low. 

the bystander sighed at the scene. junho knew he shouldn’t butt in. after all, he wasn’t that close to dohyon. the two of them were destined to be together way before he came into the picture. but he supposed he should try to show them some support. so he quietly moved towards the duo and sat at dohyon’s other side, hoping that maybe his presence would be comforting. or, at least, not displeasing. 

“why not?” Eunsang asked again, voice still sweet but with a sad tone to it. "You know i’m going to be with you no matter what, right? i won’t judge you or anything like that. i just wanna help, and i can’t if i don’t know what’s up.”

dohyon clicked his tongue, looking even further from his hyung. 

Eunsang obviously didn’t like it and asked dohyon to look at him only to have said request ignored. the older put a hand on top of his, circling its back with his thumb. but there was still silence in between them. dohyon looked ahead and refused to say his troubles. He stared at the middle schooler and watched his actions, hoping he’d eventually open up.

the older of the three, who was witnessing the event unfold, decided to turn his head to the youngest and widened his eyes at what he saw. despite it being dark, there was a light pole near them and it gave junho all the illumination he needed to see at his dongsaeng’s features. 

_so this is why he didn’t want to look at Eunsang_ , he thought as he licked his lips. “dohyon-ah, why is your cheek bruised?” junho asked.

“what?!” Eunsang shouted, moving from his seat to properly look at dohyon. 

dohyon was reluctant at first, turning away from Eunsang’s hand as it went towards his chin. it resulted in the older accidentally touching his cheek too roughly, earning him a pained cry. as dohyon complained, he turned his injured cheek towards his hyung. there was no way he’d manage to hide it from him. the bruise on his left cheek darkening against his lighter skin was very clear. 

Eunsang stared at the purples and yellows with wide-open eyes and a clenched jaw. “ _who did this_ ,” he hissed. 

“no one.”

“Nam Dohyon, don’t you _dare_ protect the asshole who did this to you. tell me. _who. did._ _this_.”

“i’m not telling you, Hyung!” the younger boy shouted, getting up from his seat to stare down at the couple. or more specifically, at Eunsang. “i _can’t_ tell _anyone_. if i open my mouth and something happens to them, they’re gonna beat jinwoo up too.”

the oldest stared at his boyfriend. he has seen him serious before. has seen him being protective of his younger friend before. but he has never seen him _fuming_ like he was at that moment. “so you’re just gonna let them beat you up?” junho asked.

dohyon bit his bottom lip but didn’t take long to nod to confirm junho was right. he started staring at his feet afterwards. 

that answer made Eunsang get up too. “but you can’t do that! Dohyon, you can’t just accept this! You— You—” He was frustrated with that decision but he didn’t know what to say and looked around. it was then when he met the older boy’s eyes. “junho-yah, tell him that he can’t do that.”

junho gulped. he noticed how they both were staring down at him, anticipating his next words. “dohyon-ah,” he started, voice calm, “can you _please_ tell us what is going on? without skipping a detail? so we can help you in the best way.” junho ignored the way that his boyfriend glared at him, confused but also _annoyed_. he understood his point, but what he requested was not something he could do. at least not blindly. not without fully understanding what the younger had gone through.

“i already said too much, junho-hyung. leave it be. it’s fine.”

“no. it’s not fine, Nam Dohyon,” Eunsang hissed in reply.

“Babe, please,” junho said in a quiet tone. Eunsang seemed to take offence to that, but it worked and he promptly shut his mouth, opting to quietly stare at his younger soulmate instead. “dohyon, it’s nice of you to try to protect your friend by choosing to keep quiet. but you can’t shield your friend while you’re the one getting hurt. and quite _literally at that_. this isn’t right.” he took in a deep breath and firmly put his hands on dohyon’s shoulders so that he knew he was being serious. “let us help.”

the kid looked up from his feet to meet junho’s eyes, still not looking at his soulmate. then he sighed and moved back to the bench to sit down. “jinwoo’s colour sight formed a while ago. of course, he was enthusiastic about it and all. so he approached the guy right away. it’s a dude our age from another class, but it doesn’t matter. that boy didn’t like that his soulmate is another boy, and one that also has him as his soulmate.” he let out a second sigh, looking at his palms that rested on his lap. “jinwoo wouldn’t just let it be, unfortunately. he’s a romantic dumbass. he wanted them to at least be friends. thing was that the kid didn’t like jinwoo’s advances, so he got _aggressive_.”

“what a coward,” they heard Eunsang hiss in a low tone.

none of his soulmates turned in his direction, but junho nodded in agreement to those words. _he really is a coward, that one_ , he thought.

“it was only the start,” dohyon said in a low voice. “it wasn’t that troublesome until recently. at least i think so because i didn’t notice it. jinwoo was avoiding everyone outside of school and started hanging out with his other friends more. you know, taeseung-hyung and woojin-hyung. it wasn’t that odd at first, but when he started avoiding me and giving me excuses, it rubbed me in the wrong way. so i asked the hyungs and when they told me they weren’t sure, i directly asked him. it took him a while for him to admit it, but eventually, he told me what was up. i told him i’d be there to protect him if that boy kept like that… but it backfired.” the younger took in a deep breath, sounding frustrated. 

the oldest could feel that he was reluctant to say it out loud and rested a hand on his shoulder, hoping it’d calm him down. 

Eunsang decided to move closer to the two at that, looking at his first soulmate with a softer expression. “that was when he decided to be aggressive towards you too?” He asked.

dohyon nodded. “jinwoo and i returned to what things were before his sight formed. and you know how clingy he can be… that asshole noticed it and thought we were a thing. maybe he was jealous. maybe he’s just an ignorant homophobe. i don’t know. either way,” he licked his lips, “he started threatening jinwoo even more. obviously i decided to stand up for him. the first time it happened, he ran away. so i thought it would stop. but instead, he was just planning on how to harm me, i guess. how to make me stop trying to stop him? that’s what i suppose at least.” at that he paused, biting his lip. he looked like he was about to cry. 

“dohyon-ah—”

“i’m fine, hyung.” he interrupted, fighting back the tears. “well. i’m not sure how he discovered it, but he knows that— that i’m friends with you all. and that we’re destined, Eunsang-hyung.” he turned to the taller of the couple. “so he decided to make _me_ a target instead. he has friends who share the way he thinks. so he told them about my soulmate and i guess it pleases them to beat me up.” he frowned at that. “but he hadn’t told them about his sight. or jinwoo’s. and he made me swear to never mention it to anyone because otherwise he’ll tell them to go back to bullying jinwoo.”

junho took a hold of one of dohyon’s hands and squeezed it tightly for comfort. it sucked that dohyon and his best friend had to deal with that kind of stuff. especially since they were _so young_. they had no control over who their soulmates would turn out to be. and even if they did, there is no reason to bully someone and beat them up over it. none of them deserved that treatment.

life was unfair and he hated how _incredibly_ unfair it could get.

“and that’s the story, hyungs,” the younger finished, breaking the silence with a few words. he sighed afterwards. 

he seemed tired, and honestly, junho didn’t blame him. 

“this is why i have a purple bruise on my cheek and why i didn’t want to go home right away. it’s whatever. there’s nothing to do to revert it so let’s leave it alone.”

“there is no way i’m going to ignore any of this, Dohyon-ah,” Eunsang quickly responded in an annoyed tone.

“we’ll manage to help you,” junho continued. “we’ll make sure that he will leave both you and jinwoo alone. but for now, we are taking you home.”

“n— no! my mom can’t see me like this. nor hangyul-hyung. it’ll just ruin everything.”

“dohyon-ah… please trust us. and your family, too,” junho said as he put a hand on his shoulder. “

the middle schooler sighed. “fine. but can we go to the cafe instead? i don’t want to face mom and dad right now.”

junho turned to look at his soulmate with a puzzled expression on his face. he butted in a little too much and he didn’t want to do it anymore, so he passed the question to Eunsang. 

at that, Eunsang sighed, but decided to agree. “okay. but we’re not telling hangyul-hyung anything. _You_ have to tell him everything, even if it’s later. deal?”

dohyon nodded. “okay, Hyung.”

the younger two walked side by side, but there was a tension between them. no one dared to speak about it.

junho walked behind them, staring at their backs. he was feeling tense, but also relieved. tense because of the conversation they had, Eunsang’s outrage, and the situation their dongsaeng was in. relieved because of this talk showed dohyon that he wasn’t alone and that now that they knew what was happening, they could help. 

it wouldn’t be exactly easy. it was scary how he was in such a position at such a young age. he knew it, but also it wasn’t like he could just let it keep happening.

when they arrived at the cafe, hangyul was really happy to finally see his brother, but his relief was washed away as soon as he saw dohyon’s face. before he could question, though, junho interrupted. “let him have some water or something first, hyung. question him later.”

the older was reluctant to nod. “is it… is it something bad?”

he turned to his boyfriend as he often did, but this time Eunsang bit the inside of his cheek. he clearly didn’t want to say a thing. “Dohyon promised us he’d be the one telling you what’s happening. just let him have some time before bombarding him with questions, okay? and try to be understanding.”

that was not a pleasing answer to get, but the barista still took it with a worrisome nod. “alright. thank you for finding him. and sorry for ruining your evening.”

“it’s fine, hyung,” the younger said. “it’s not like we can’t or won’t come back later.”

“…yeah. it is fine. don’t worry much about it,” junho agreed.

the older man nodded at them both one last time before turning to his brother’s direction. 

junho caught himself smiling sadly at the scene with hangyul sitting across from dohyon and talking to him so quietly he’d never imagine he was talking if it wasn’t for his lips moving.

a moment later, he turned away from them with a sigh. he looked at his boyfriend and found that he was already staring at him with a stone-faced expression. his body became stiff at the realization, but he spoke to Eunsang with a soft tone regardless. “hey, everything’s okay?”

“not really,” Eunsang admitted in a quiet voice. then he shrugged. “it’s whatever. let’s just call it a day and go home.”

Eunsang was acting weird and the other was ready to ask more about it. he decided to swallow his questions and follow him silently instead. 

maybe now wasn’t the right time. he could ask him another day.

…

dongpyo dropped himself on his bed as soon as he got home. he wished that the past hours hadn’t happened. 

he’s never been the kind of person to let bad news affect his mood too much. he was the type to find a way around it or simply not care. but this wasn’t something he could just brush off. it wasn’t something he could avoid. it was out of his reach. and all he could do was mope about it, feeling devastated and hopeless.

the boy sighed while staring at his phone. it was at a couple of messages from the group chat he had with his best friends. how would he tell something _like that_ to his friends? there was no way he could tell them. not easily. eventually, he reasoned it was a worry for future dongpyo. he was too stressed and devastated at the recent news and dropped the device somewhere next to his bed.

it was so frustrating, this stupid situation. he stared at his pillow, noticing the lessened saturated hue of the stripes that used to be a bright shade of grey months ago. it just made him feel even worse when he realized that he has yet to meet - _actually_ meet - his soulmate. he still didn’t know who _they_ were. and not only that, if— _no_ , dongpyo corrected himself— _when_ he finally met them, their time will, without a doubt, be shorter than anyone would have expected. totally not what he had imagined as a young child. definitely not what he had been told when he was a kid.

why now? and why him? he didn’t even get the chance to have his happy encounter everyone supposedly had. dongpyo just randomly saw colour a couple of months ago and that was it. he didn’t know who they were and even if they’d ever meet. who knows? maybe they’re not even korean. maybe they crossed sight with the boy inside the coffee shop on their last day in seoul, and they were now in, who knows, brazil. maybe he was one of those who have a broken bond. who isn’t destined to have a simple, happy ending.

fate is the worst. he hated that he spent so long wondering who his soulmate would be and how they’d meet for it to be… _this_. 

all he felt like he could do was cry about it and wish that by the morning his mind wouldn’t be as troubled as it was at the moment. so that’s what he did. he fell asleep in between sobs.

* * *

> _why havent you told me before? |_

the text that minhee had yet to send hyeongjun stared at him, challenging him to hit the button. they had argued days ago when the month had barely begun. now most of july passed and he was still not talking to the other. he’s always found himself like this. typing out words he wanted to say, but not having the guts to actually hit send.

it was probably just a misunderstanding. something not as deep for hyeongjun to earn the silence treatment, but he supposed that he himself was a coward. his best friend had been truthful and gave him the answers minhee himself asked. yet, instead of trying to understand, he was fast to shut him down. and now he couldn’t clear it up.

he was so annoyed with himself. he is hyeongjun’s closest friend, yet _that’s_ how he acts? it’d be a miracle if the younger still wants to talk to him after this drama. 

> _why havent you t |_
> 
> _wh |_
> 
> _do you |_
> 
> _do you not trust me? |_
> 
> _did i do something |_
> 
> _did i |_
> 
> _idk what |_
> 
> _idk what i did but can y |_
> 
> _idk what i did but can you forgive m |_
> 
> (hyeongjun @ 10:11pm) hey, can we talk  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:11pm) please

oh.

well, he hadn’t expected him to message minhee first. he’s done it for a couple of days after the last time they met at the coffee shop, but it eventually stopped. the taller never replied, so he imagined he had gotten tired and moved on or something.

but hyeongjun had been quite stubborn and persistent at times. especially when it came to his friendships. always so loyal and… kind. even when he had no reason to be that nice.

> _idk what i did bu |_
> 
> _idk w |_
> 
> (me @ 10:13pm) sure  
> (me @ 10:13pm) why havent you told me before? that you could see colours?  
> (me @ 10:13pm) and that it was me who made you see it? that im apparently your destined one  
> (me @ 10:14pm) its happened years ago yet you pretended you still saw grey  
> (me @ 10:14pm) why? what for?
> 
> (hyeongjun @ 10:14pm) how could i tell you that, kang minhee  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:14pm) the one destined to me, the one i dreamed about for years, the one who made me see all the colours of the rainbow  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:14pm) still saw grey after meeting me  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:15pm) it was like all my dreams felt apart the moment i noticed i was the only one experiencing it  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:16pm) it wasnt like i went, hey, lets not tell him because he doesnt deserve to know, or anything of that  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:16pm) but i wasnt even understanding what was happening myself  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:18pm) so i told no one  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:18pm) not even my parents   
> (hyeongjun @ 10:18pm) they were dying to know and i still havent told them who it is, just that i can see colour now  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:18pm) and it’s not like theyd hate me if it was a boy  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:18pm) they dont care about that  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:19pm) but its not like i can easily explain that my destiny means nothing  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:19pm) that you didnt have me as your soulmate i mean  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:19pm) they cant understand… no one really can  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:19pm) i still cant  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:19pm) no one expects to have a broken connection

minhee stared at the messages that were popping up quickly onto the chat.

damn.

he hadn’t thought about how much his friend may have suffered. may have been devastatingly confused about his situation. it made him remember the day at the coffee shop. the very first one. the one where he suddenly saw colour. he thought about how much it made him feel _scared_. the place was crowded. it could be anyone. it _still can be_ anyone. it didn’t make sense how non-traditional his colour sight happened. yet, when he was told that hyeongjun had had a similar, unexpected story, he’d felt betrayed that he wasn’t told about it.

how selfish of him. what a bad friend he had been. he had a hard time with his colour sight and all minhee thought of was how it took him years to manage to briefly mention it rather than try to understand his side.

hyeongjun didn’t deserve him as a soulmate.

> (hyeongjun @ 10:19pm) im sorry for not telling you  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:20pm) but its not like i planned on not telling you  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:20pm) it just… happened  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:20pm) it was hard to lie but it felt harder to put words into… this  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:21pm) and when i noticed months passed, years passed, i just got comfortable with the lie  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:21pm) i didnt even think much about it  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:21pm) it was just there but it was ignorable  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:21pm) until you got your sight and it was impossible to pretend it wasnt happening  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:21pm) it hurt  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:21pm) but it hurt way more that you werent making any effort to get your happy ending  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:21pm) when i know that no matter how much i lie to myself abt what happened, i wont have mine  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:22pm) so i tried to make you see that soulmates can have its charm even if fate is trying to make it not work  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:22pm) because even if it wasnt like i dreamed of, i like the friendship weve made  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:22pm) you really are my special one  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:22pm) but as my best friend
> 
> (hyeongjun @ 10:35pm) …?   
> (hyeongjun @ 10:35pm) please tell me youre still there… 
> 
> (me @ 10:35pm) yes i am  
> (me @ 10:35pm) im just. absorbing it ig  
> (me @ 10:36pm) its hard to. just. ykno  
> (me @ 10:36pm) comprehend
> 
> (hyeongjun @ 10:36pm) its understandable
> 
> (me @ 10:37pm) im sorry you went thru all of that. all alone too  
> (me @ 10:37pm) and im sorry that i was insensitive about not telling me. or only telling me now  
> (me @ 10:37pm) and like that too  
> (me @ 10:37pm) but it was really frustrating how you kept pushing me towards someone i dont even know  
> (me @ 10:38pm) then avoiding me from time to time  
> (me @ 10:38pm) i thought i did something  
> (me @ 10:38pm) i couldnt stop thinking how to fix whatever i had done
> 
> (hyeongjun @ 10:38pm) :(  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:38pm) its nothing that really can be fixed
> 
> (me @ 10:41pm) im sorry
> 
> (hyeongjun @ 10:41pm) dont be
> 
> (me @ 10:41pm) its not fair tho  
> (me @ 10:41pm) you dont deserve this  
> (me @ 10:41pm) especially you who values it so much
> 
> (hyeongjun @ 10:42pm) you dont deserve living months without knowing who your soulmate is too  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:42pm) altho i dont know which is worse… having the connection broken or not finding them
> 
> (me @ 10:42pm) :(  
> (me @ 10:43pm) well. are we good?
> 
> (hyeongjun @ 10:43pm) for me, we are
> 
> (me @ 10:43pm) for me too  
> (me @ 10:43pm) fate might not have connected me to you the same way it connected you to me but youre still my best friend and ill be here for whatever you need, okay?
> 
> (hyeongjun @ 10:43pm) okay  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:43pm) im glad  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:44pm) this is really relieving
> 
> (me @ 10:44pm) just one question though
> 
> (hyeongjun @ 10:44pm) yes?
> 
> (me @ 10:44pm) do you… like… like me?
> 
> (hyeongjun @ 10:44pm) what  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:51pm) of course i do!!!!  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:51pm) i mean, youre my best friend whom i trust the most  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:51pm) itd be weird if i didnt
> 
> (me @ 10:52pm) i meant  
> (me @ 10:52pm) eh  
> (me @ 10:52pm) nvm you responded it already  
> (me @ 10:52pm) thank you for telling me and again. sorry for flipping it before
> 
> (hyeongjun @ 10:52pm) its okaaaaaaay reallyyyyyyyyyy
> 
> (me @ 10:52pm) besties?
> 
> (hyeongjun @ 10:53pm) besties!!! forever <3
> 
> (me @ 10:53pm) <3  
> (me @ 10:53pm) ew icb i just sent a heart  
> (me @ 10:53pm) im deleting it
> 
> (hyeongjun @ 10:53pm) feel free  
> (hyeongjun @ 10:53pm) i already saved a screenshot
> 
> (me @ 10:53pm) …bye im deleting myself then
> 
> (hyeongjun @ 10:53pm) hehe byeeee and good night bestieeeeeee <3 <3 <3

* * *

eunsang had his arms crossed.

junho wasn’t present.

dohyon, however, was in his usual seat.

something was definitely off. dongpyo could tell _that_ much. he just didn’t know what, why, or how it happened. especially because whatever happened between the three of them, it happened without him knowing. even if two of them were his best friends and the third one his beloved dongsaeng.

but, well, he had no right to be petty that they kept secrets from him. dongpyo has one he’d probably never tell them too.

“ _so~_ , how’s school going, dohyonie?” he tried to break the silence by directing a question towards the younger. they both seemed stiff and maybe even uncomfortable, but the older of the two looked like he’d snap at any second. so the other boy was a safer choice, he had reasoned.

the kid blinked. “you sound like hangyul-hyung.”

“i’m just being polite! what the…” dongpyo pouted, not pleased with the comparison. “why aren’t you answering your hyung?”

dohyon sighed. “it could’ve been better.”

“why so?”

eunsang turned to the one beside him who at the same time looked at him. just like eunsang and junho, these two often communicated without words. dohyon and junho were _really_ equally his with how they communicated with their shared partner just by looking at each other. it made dongpyo shiver if he was going to be honest.

and also a bit jealous. he wondered if he’d be able to talk to his own soulmate like that without ever opening his mouth once they finally met properly.

dohyon shrugged before returning his attention to the oldest but shortest. “just stuff. non-important stuff.”

“ _oh-_ kay,” he replied, pronouncing the oh longer than normally. “and you, eunsang? how have your classes been?”

it was eunsang’s turn to look displeased at dongpyo. “we’re classmates.”

“yeah, but you seemed out of it the entire day. you didn’t even have lunch with junho and i.”

“well, as much as i like _your_ company, i didn’t see any reason to sit beside him. so i ate on my own.” then he shrugged.

dongpyo frowned at the younger’s words. _what the hell?_ “of course you have a reason to. he’s your b—”

“hey, kiddos!” hangyul’s loud voice came in suddenly, a tray with their orders in hand. before he handed them to the younger ones, he stared at them. he was sensing the tension. “something’s up.”

“what do you mean?” eunsang was the one who replied, tone bored and a brow up.

“yeah, nothing’s going on, hyung.”

“you know that the last time you said that, it was _not_ nothing, nam dohyon,” the older pointed out as he handed them each of their orders. “but if you kids don’t want to tell me, it’s fine. just don’t keep it a secret until someone gets bruises.”

“bruises?!” dongpyo exclaimed a bit too loudly, voice cracking at the end.

dohyon stiffened, but refused to open his mouth and looked away.

the one beside him rolled his eyes at the exaggerated reaction his classmate had given. then he turned his attention back to the adult. “it’s nothing like that. _really_ , hangyul-hyung. you don’t have anything more to worry about.”

“kinda hard for me not to worry about you all.” he sighed. “but fine. i’ll drop it. here’s your orders and have a good day.”

“what the hell did he mean by _bruises_?” dongpyo questioned the duo as soon as hangyul went back behind the counter. 

“it’s nothing, hyung,” dohyon replied.

“i’ll tell you later,” the older of the two cut in, but then dohyon stared at him. “or. not. for now?”

“alright then, i guess.” dongpyo sighed in annoyance. “feel free to ignore me and keep stuff from me. i’ll just ask junho later.”

“dongpyo…” eunsang gave him a look of disapproval. “it’s not my nor his place to tell you.” 

“but he _is_ involved,” he concluded, resting an arm on the table so his cheek could rest over his fist. “and by the way, you’re avoiding him. it’s not good.”

“hyung, it’s nothing _that_ serious—”

“but it’s serious enough that i can’t know?”

“yeah, because it’s my issue and mine only. but these hyungs decided to butt in—”

“if that’s so, then where is junho and why are these two avoiding each other—”

“it’s because i broke up with him.”

both the oldest and youngest at the table stopped talking to stare at the other. dongpyo thought that it was something that dohyon also knew, but by his reaction, it didn’t seem to be the case. “what?”

“we fought and i broke up with him.”

the middle schooler swallowed tightly. “is it because of me?”

“wha— Dohyon-ah, why would it be because of you?” eunsang looked towards his soulmate with his head tilted. 

“is it not?” the kid stared back with one of his brows up. “you guys were okay before i told you about the— the jinwoo thing. then after a few days, you are fighting and breaking up. which never happened all this time that you’ve been together. so it _is_ because of me. isn’t it?”

eunsang gulped at that. “no… not really. it has nothing to do with your issues with jinwoo. You’re not to blame. we had a misunderstanding... things went south really fast and when i realized, i had broken up with him.”

“that doesn’t sound like you,” dongpyo said carefully. “you’re always keeping things to yourself and think carefully before speaking. actually you and junho _both_ do that. how did that fight even start?”

eunsang’s eyes wavered nervously. he was staring back and forth between his friends but also away from them. noticing none of them would let him drop it and change the subject he sighed, feeling defeated. “i think it started after i accused him of being jealous of Dohyon.”

“so it _is_ about me!”

“not like that!” the other refuted quickly. “it’s not your fault _at all_ , okay! he’s been acting weird for quite some time and i said that and he didn’t like to hear that. i didn’t like his reaction, so we fought. end of the story.”

“weird? _how_?”

it was dongpyo who asked, his face showing that he was puzzled. it didn’t make much sense. none of the two seemed to be acting weirder than usual before they started avoiding each other. but thinking more about that, he reasoned that many things could happen between a couple that only _they_ would know or notice.

“well…” the younger started talking quietly, “i don’t know exactly, it just felt off. he seemed more distant and secretive. and i know he is naturally quiet, but it was different. trust me, i’d notice the smallest change in his behaviour,” he stated seriously, and if the scenario was lighter, dongpyo would tease them on being grossly in sync. “i questioned him because i was worried. he said it was nothing. i called bullshit. he got offended at my rude tone which is quite understandable thinking now, but i was annoyed. him being annoyed at me only annoyed me more.”

“how mature of you.”

eunsang ignored the small boy’s commentary. “anyway. he said i was acting colder to him for a while and i scoffed at it. i said it was _him_ who was being weird around me and things escalated after that. i don’t remember if he said first that i care more about Dohyon than him or if it was me who accused first that he was jealous, but that happened and we discussed about it for a bit until i told him that if he can’t accept the fact that they are both my soulmates and that he was not the one who made me see colours, that then he should just leave me alone and pretend we never met each other. so he got up and i shouted that if he left, it would be over.” he sighed at that, lowering his head and continuing to speak in a quieter tone. “at first, he turned back at me and stared. probably dumbfounded. but eventually, he simply shrugged. and then left.”

dongpyo, in all honesty and respect, wanted to slap the other. that was such a dumb reason to break up. at least that’s what he thought as an outsider who was also friends with them both. dohyon did seem to think something similar, expression laced with some type of disapproval, but he didn’t verbalize it. the two shared a glare before the younger spoke. “Hyung, you should talk to him properly about it. you were both nervous and saying whatever crossed your minds. it all seems to be a silly misunderstanding.”

“is it, really?” the dark-haired asked after a few seconds of silence. “i know my accusation was baseless and just from what i observed but it’s odd… he never really denied it, you know. and he seems to always be against you for no reason! the other day, he told me not to invite you to our zero two liners meetups because we don’t have to include you every time we plan something. when i told him to tell you to stop protecting that douche, he didn’t!”

“are you listening to yourself, lee eunsang?” dongpyo scoffed at that. “why are you trying to defend yourself about this?”

“excuse me?”

“you two broke up because of a misunderstanding, that’s a fact. and so what if he has an issue with dohyon or not? not only is it not the matter at hand right now, but you’re concluding that without letting him explain himself,” he said with a frown. “that’s kinda low of you.”

“well, if he has an issue with my soulmate, i don’t want him around.”

the middle schooler stared at him. “isn’t he also your soulmate, though?”

“ _You’re_ the one who gave me my sight. not him.”

“so what?” dohyon gave him an irritated look. “because i made you see all the colours of the rainbow, it automatically makes me more important than him?”

eunsang opened his mouth, maybe to say yes, or maybe to refute that. but before he could answer, he closed it again and looked away. “look. _he is_ as special as you are. equally destined to me and all of that. but if he’s going to be petty around you and not be of help when i ask for it, then he’s not really the best soulmate i can ask for.”

“ _not be of help_? junho-hyung was really attentive and nice to me when i was in such a vulnerable situation.”

“yeah, and you’re _still in_ said situation.”

“he’s not a superhero. he tried his best! as much as _you_ did, Eunsang-hyung!” the younger was the one seemingly annoyed now, getting up from his seat. “just because he didn’t decide to hunt that dude down and punch him in the gut doesn’t mean he’s not done anything to support me. and if you can’t see how much he’s trying to be nice to me despite having no connection to me _besides yourself_ , it’s _you_ who’s not the best soulmate hyung can ask for.”

“Dohyon-ah, wait—”

eunsang and dongpyo watched as the younger moved from their table and towards the front counter. he quietly said something to hangyul who, despite the confused face, opened the small door and let him enter the backroom without protesting.

the barista looked puzzled in his younger brother’s direction and then back at the two high school students. the oldest of the two just made a sign for him to let it be and, surprisingly, the adult returned to his work. he began taking orders from two boys seemingly their age who, in between their mess, had entered the shop.

“you know he’s made a point, right?” dongpyo told eunsang, who had his head down once the other was out of their sight. “junho might be introverted and not like strangers much, but once you had introduced dohyon to him, he did a lot to get to know him. maybe he just wanted more time to spend with you? and you misunderstood it as him trying to shut him down. you were a couple after all while you and dohyon are just best friends.”

“he’s my _soulmate—_ ”

“and so is junho. just because he didn’t make you see colours, he’s important to you anyway, right? just as much?” dongpyo watched as the other bit the inside of his cheek while looking through the window. 

“yeah. i guess he is just as important to me.”

that answer made dongpyo smile. “so you’re going to talk to him and solve it?”

eunsang frowned. “no.”

“what!? lee eunsang—”

“i know! i should! and i will! eventually. but i’m not going to do that. not right away.” he sighed. “i need some time, okay. i need to think it over. i can’t just blurt out whatever once i do talk to him. what if i make things worse?”

damn it. he hated that it made sense. “fine, then, drama king. but please think of it soon. he’s not going to be waiting for you to get your shit together.”

the dark-haired boy furrowed his eyebrows, but nodded. they both knew junho well. they knew that no matter what, the boy would wait all eternity for eunsang. it still didn’t mean he could make him wait for that long. dongpyo hoped he had that clear in his mind.

though dongpyo knew that whether you were patient or not, everything and everyone had a timer ticking to its end.

…

minhee set his empty cup on the table harshly and cleared his throat before speaking. “i have a theory. i think i don’t really have a soulmate.”

his best friend stared at him in annoyance. or was that disgust? either way, his face showed how displeased he was by hearing those words. “how dare you say something like that? especially since you’ve gotten your colour sight already?”

“are you really in place to say that, mister? after your sight formed and mine didn’t?” the blond one shot back in a beat. minhee instantly regretted it, not wanting to rub salt into his wound. he noticed hyeongjun’s cheeks went a shade of dark red. maybe it was too soon to poke on the subject.

however, the comment only made hyeongjun only roll his eyes in a playful way. “okay, _maybe_ you have a point. but i must be a very rare case.”

minhee felt more at ease with the response. “that doesn’t stop _me_ from being one too. it probably gives me more reason to believe so.” minhee cleared his throat before continuing. “i mean… it might be the same for you. maybe whoever triggered my colour sight isn’t exactly special to me. not in a romantic way. there’s a chance they are just _someone_.”

“i doubt it. they probably will affect your life somehow. it’s always like that. _it is_ the reason behind all of this. it’s why we can only see colour after meeting them. that’s how fate operates,” he said with a poker face, head down and tone so serious it made his tall friend shiver a bit. but then he looked up with his usual blinding smile on. “You’re my _best friend_. not just someone who crossed my life once and i never saw again. whoever made you see colour is somehow important to you too. or will be when we find them.”

“it doesn’t mean we are meant to be together or such. maybe they’re my archenemy and this is how they’re going to affect my life. by making me hate them,” he pointed out, half jokingly and half sincerely. “you know, i talked with hangyul-hyung a few weeks ago.”

the younger’s face went serious at that. “ _did you_ …”

“yeah, and he said quite interesting things about this whole soulmate thing. about people who aren’t the same as the rest. who aren’t what we all usually expect when it comes to destiny and our colour sight. people who have soulmates who don’t work out even when they try to be a couple. or who has a soulmate who doesn’t have the connection back at themselves. or even people who have never seen grey in their life.”

that made hyeongjun tilt his head. “hangyul-hyung knows people like that? _him_?”

minhee laughed at that. “i found it funny too. he’s always bragging about his boyfriend and how classic their story was, even considering that they lived in different countries before. i never thought that something against that common sense was even possible but.” he shrugged and sighed. “maybe… i’m in that group too.”

“that’s… quite interesting, actually,” his friend said after a while. “i honestly thought i was broken or something. i had to deal with it for so long and on my own at that too. it’s hard to hear that there are others like me not too far.”

“like _us_ , you mean.”

the younger stared at him with an expressionless face. “how can you be so sure you’re also born with a broken bond or something of the sorts?”

“i’m _not_ sure. i just think there’s a possibility. and up until now it’s the most plausible one,” he refuted. “don’t people say that after your sight is formed, you get uncomfortable with being away from them for so long? it’s been _months_ and i don’t even know what they look like or what their name is. even their gender is unknown to me. i should be nauseous at this point. or having random headaches. but i’m completely fine. nothing changed besides the world no longer being in grey.”

hyeongjun put some thought into that. “maybe it’s because you guys aren’t too far for such side effects to take place.”

“…what?”

“maybe they’re regulars as much as we are,” he suggested. “and since we are also frequenting the same place for months now, it kind of compensates with this whole craving you two are supposed to have. you two are often in the same place and it’s enough for you not to be sick.”

“sounds fake, but sure.” minhee sighed. “at this point, i’m sure if i crossed paths with them that i’d already feel the whole pulling thing and i’d know who they are. it hasn’t happened _once_ , so that can’t be it.”

at that, hyeongjun’s hope seemed to shatter. it showed from his expression alone. the older reasoned that maybe he hadn’t thought of that and just realized it. “okay. let’s say that you don’t have a soulmate then. how come your sight used to be greyscale and now it’s fully coloured? if you didn’t have a soulmate, does that make sense to you?”

“not really…” 

“there is no way you would see in grey before if you hadn’t one.”

minhee pouted in thought. “then… maybe they died the day we met.”

“what? no— don’t say stuff like that!” the younger’s sudden loud tone startled the blond, who jumped at his seat and glared at the other. “do _not_ say these things! words are powerful! besides, if they did— _not live_ anymore, you would lose your colour sight the second that happened,” hyeongjun pointed out, snapping his fingers as he said these words. “that’s, like, basic soulmate knowledge. how come you don’t know that?” 

“you really think i have done any research on soulmates? be honest.”

that made hyeongjun frown. “i’m _always_ talking about them, though.”

minhee looked away for a bit. “and maybe i’ve tuned it down every time…”

“of course. why did i ask?” he heard a quiet laugh from across the table. “anyway, fret not. Your soulmate is alive and kicking. maybe in another country? or maybe i don’t know, they are on that table over there? we might never know.”

“don’t say that. words are powerful,” minhee said in a mocking tone as he rolled his eyes. his sight ended up pausing on the table his shorter friend had mentioned and somehow it caught his attention. there were two boys, close to his own age, who looked like they were having quite an uncomfortable conversation. the smaller one seemed to be scolding his friend, whose head was down, either listening to him or talking too quietly. they had finished their orders already but they didn’t seem to be showing any sign of leaving the cafe.

now that he’s thinking about it, wasn’t that the table hangyul’s brother was sitting in before he moved towards the front counter? he wasn’t sure. he hadn’t exactly given it much attention as he was too busy ordering his drink. but giving it some thought now, he’s seen the kid with a group of high schoolers. and maybe it was those two. since he discovered who the barista’s baby brother was, it was hard to not notice the familiar face when he got in. and, by association, he probably started recognizing his companions too.

the smaller boy with plump lips suddenly looked away from his friend, eyes crossing with minhee accidentally. as soon as he noticed their sudden eye contact, he looked away, not wanting to creep out the stranger.

“man, i think you’re rubbing off on me,” minhee said.

hyeongjun tilted his head out of confusion. “what do you mean?”

minhee sighed. “i kinda feel like i’m craving them now,” he replied in a quiet voice. “i think… i’d like to meet them. for real. if i do have a soulmate, i mean.”

“of course you do,” his best friend assured. “and when we find them, you’re going to be the best couple in all of south korea.”

the blond boy rolled his eyes at that. but in all honesty… he liked the sound of that.

* * *

Yohan sighed, feeling tired for no reason. the day hadn’t been overly busy. only half of his shift had passed but even so, he felt like he’d spent the past twelve hours brewing coffee and walking back and forward towards the many tables inside the coffee shop. even if all he _really_ did was stay behind the counter and tell hangyul to make the orders _and_ deliver said orders to the right tables in his place.

He blamed it on how uneventful the day had been. sure, it was pretty much like every day he had at work, but it was somehow more boring than usual. there weren’t that many customers getting in, despite it being friday, and having many of the regulars visiting as normally. it was too quiet than what he was used to and he felt like he was going to die.

He was in need of something to save him from this boredom. as soon as the thought crossed his mind, he felt his phone vibrate in his back pocket. _what a great timing_ , he thought. He smiled as he opened his messages and smiled even more when he saw who had contacted him.

then he frowned once he read the message.

> (hyeongjunie @ 5:48pm) hyung!!! save me pls
> 
> (me @ 5:48pm) ????  
> (me @ 5:48pm) HYEONGJUN-AH ARE YOU OKAY???
> 
> (hyeongjunie @ 5:49pm) yes i am!!! but minhee isnt :(  
> (hyeongjunie @ 5:49pm) that dumbass got a cold!!! like its not even winter yet!!!!!!  
> (hyeongjunie @ 5:50pm) anyway, hyung can i ask you to prepare our usual to go plsss
> 
> (me @ 5:52pm) hyeongjun… i didn’t give you my number for you to abuse of it like that!!!  
> (me @ 5:52pm) you gotta get in line like everyone else!!!
> 
> (hyeongjunie @ 5:52pm) hyuuuuuuungggggggggggggg  
> (hyeongjunie @ 5:52pm) ill be in line like everyone else to pay!!! but im in a hurry, that dumbass is suffering in bed hyung!!!  
> (hyeongjunie @ 5:53pm) i was planning on leaving school and right away going to his house to nurse him :(  
> (hyeongjunie @ 5:53pm) please??  
> (hyeongjunie @ 5:53pm) imagine me pouting rn. its exactly what im doing but in class :<

that made Yohan sigh once more, but not because he was tired. but because he was _whipped_.

it was amazing how the younger made him feel things even if he was nowhere near him.

> (me @ 5:57pm) fine, but you owe me
> 
> (hyeongjunie @ 5:57pm) yes hyung!!!!!!! you can ask me anything later!!!!!!!!!!! thank you hyung!!!!!!!!!!  
> (hyeongjunie @ 5:57pm) love you hyung!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He stared at the last message, wondering if he was imagining things or if that was actually real. after blinking many times, after his screen shutting off and then being lit up again, the same words were still there. 

they made him feel joy, yet, at the same time, Yohan knew he didn’t mean what he wished he did by those words. hyeongjun didn’t love him _like that_. as he wasn’t his soulmate. it was foolish to think otherwise.

“yohan-hyung’s frowning. something bad must’ve happened.”

“eunsang-ah, why are you pointing it out?”

“why can’t i? i’m bored and it’s inevitable not to notice hyung with the noise he made before.”

“okay, true. hard not to notice that _aww_ he just left. did he _uwu_ out loud? didn’t even know that was a thing.”

“exactly! but he looks so down now. weird to witness him going from absolute softness to sad boy vibes in a few seconds.”

Yohan stared at the two high schoolers who were chatting in whispers that weren’t as low as they imagined. “yah, you two. stop gossiping about me. what I do or what happened is none of your business.”

dongpyo and eunsang jumped slightly at their seat, feeling embarrassed for getting caught. once the initial shock left them, the older one smirked. “why? is it something special? or maybe… some _one_?”

“oh! hyung, were you texting your _crush_? is this why you were all _uwu_ out loud?”

“that doesn’t explain why you're frowning now, though.”

the barista’s cheeks started to get pinkish at those questions, despite not understanding all the words they were using. “why are you kids so interested about that? don’t you have anything better to do? where are junho and dohyon, by the way?”

“Dohyon is coming.” the younger shrugged, sipping on his drink.

Yohan raised a brow at the way junho was left overlooked but didn’t mention it. at least _he_ knew not to pressure others about their issues. 

“and we are incredibly bored, so we are butting into your life.”

“I’m _so_ honoured,” the other deadpanned sarcastically. “you should go out and have fun in your free time. not stay here staring at me.”

“you’re fun to tease, hyung.”

that made him roll his eyes and turn away from the scene as he tried his absolute best to ignore the way the duo’s laughter echoed in the shop. despite the age difference, he knew that they were a little too… _powerful_ and would do things their way regardless of what he told them. besides, it didn’t help that Yohan was way too whipped for his dongsaengs to actually scold them or anything like that. so he did what was best which was to let them be and hope the subject would be changed. He did have a coffee to brew per hyeongjun’s request anyway.

it seemed to have worked once again. it didn’t take long before eunsang was reminded of something that happened, making him speak nonstop as his companion heard it. apparently he had been invited to do a special appearance at a senior’s project. something to do with acting on camera? Yohan didn’t eavesdrop too much about it, but it wasn’t his fault that they were so loud when they chatted. at some point dohyon entered the shop. once he ordered and paid for his americano, he joined their conversation and the events from earlier were completely forgotten with their attention no longer on him.

“ah, yohanie-hyung! is my order done yet? i know i’ve texted you quite on time but—”

well, that triumphant thought came too soon and he once again was the centre of their attention. but even so, once he turned away and eyed hyeongjun looking straight in his direction, it didn’t matter whether the others were staring at him or not. “hey, have I ever let you down? don’t worry. your coffee is right here.”

the kid turned to the cups on the barista’s hands and once he recognized his and minhee’s everyday order, he smiled brightly at him. “thank you so much, hyung! you’re a life saviour.”

Yohan laughed awkwardly at that. “I try being the best hyung out there.”

Yohan ignored the way dongpyo snorted loudly at that, but sadly, hyeongjun didn’t. he tilted his head in the direction of the balcony and noticed three pairs of eyes who were watching the scene. then he blushed a bright red. “uhm. well, i must pay, right?”

“of course you do.” Yohan tried to say it casually, but he knew that the trio would tease him about it later regardless of the tone in his voice. “will that be all?”

“yeah. actually— add a slice of red velvet cake too to go as well.”

“sure.” _anything for_ you, he added mentally as he moved towards the cashier. “it’s going to be 13,500 won.”

hyeongjun nodded at him and took out a 10,000 won note along with a 5,000 won one. “keep the charge. consider it a tip for taking my order through the phone.”

“won’t you need it for later? it’s okay. count it as a favour—”

“hyung, _please_. i insist. take it.”

Yohan didn’t want to accept it, but with the way the younger looked at him, face serious and determined, he couldn’t deny him anything. so, instead, he nodded, took the notes, and moved to grab the slice of cake he had added.

“woah, hyung. you take orders through text now? that’s so cool. hooray for technology.”

 _damn you, son dongpyo._ He tried not hissing at the younger for ruining his moment, smiling forcefully instead. “no, we don’t. it was a one time emergency.”

the young boy faked a disappointed pout at that. “aww, that’s a shame. it would save us time, but i guess not everyone has special treatment.”

dohyon tilted his head to the side at hearing that. “are we allowed to complain after we asked hyung to give us a free slice of cake?”

“you asked him for a free slice of cake?!” hyeongjun exclaimed suddenly, eyes shinier than before.

dongpyo smirked at that. “ _and_ we got it.”

“ _junho-hyung_ got it. not us.”

“same difference, dohyon-ah.” he shrugged, smiling at the standing boy. “it was thanks to us either way.”

the boy in front of the cashier stared at the group sitting by the counter in awe. “wow. this junho person must be someone special to yohan-hyung.”

“he’s just a regular,” the barista defended himself almost instantly. “like them.”

“and like you, apparently,” dongpyo giggled, winking in his direction.

hyeongjun raised a brow at that, but even so, his cheeks got pinker. “you must treat all your regulars with this special treatment then.”

 _no, you are different_ , Yohan thought but refused to say out loud. “here’s your cake,” was what Yohan said instead, feeling slightly embarrassed at the encounter happening in front of him. “dongpyo, please stop harassing my customers.”

“i’m not harassing anyone! i’m just saying.”

“well, he’s clearly uncomfortable,” eunsang finally opened his mouth again, feeling too shy to speak to someone he didn’t know. but after the barista’s interruption, he stared at hyeongjun apologetically. “he’s usually less intrusive than this. please forgive him.”

“that’s okay. i don’t mind it much,” he politely answered, but Yohan wondered if he really didn’t mind it. “well, thank you for the help, hyung. i’m sure this coffee will be as good as always. and i’m sorry for texting and all…”

“ah, you’re welcome. don’t fret about it. I’m glad to be of help! just don’t make it an habit and it’ll be fine, I guess.”

hyeongjun gave the older a small smile, also nodding at the trio before rushing towards the exit. it was a shame that he had come and gone so fast today as he usually stayed a couple of hours in. but he understood that between him and minhee, hyeongjun would always pick the latter. well, was there any reason for him to not do so? Yohan was just a barista from the cafeteria he often goes to. minhee was his high school best friend and who was not well at that. it was fine. at least he got to see him smiling in his direction. even if it was so quick.

“so _that’s_ why you seemed so happy earlier!” 

eunsang’s voice made Yohan stop daydreaming. turning at his direction, he noticed that his friends were too eyeing him. “it’s because of that boy! is he the one you like? aww, hyung, that’s so cute!”

dohyon frowned. “that’s kinda gross, actually. look at that smug face. ew.”

“that’s what people look like when they are in love,” dongpyo mused. “ah, young love. always something so adorable to witness.”

that last comment made the barista blush. but even so, that didn’t stop him from glaring with dark eyes at the oldest of them. “yah, I’m literally three years older than you.”

dongpyo shrugged. “i’ll call you ahjussi then, if you’d rather.”

“I pass.” He forced a smile while rolling his eyes. 

the trio laughed at him, diverting their attention from the adult and once again chatting about their own thing. he took it as his cue to return to work as he had yet to start dohyon’s drink. the whole hyeongjun thing had distracted him. but, well, it was for a good cause. at least he had delayed an order from someone he was close to, otherwise, he would probably get a complaint. and he wasn’t in the mood to deal with angry customers _nor_ angry managers.

“here’s your americano, kiddo.”

“thanks, hy—” the youngest started replying but his words were cut short as he looked up to something away from the shop. it made Yohan raise a brow, looking in that direction. he hadn’t seen anything out of ordinary, but whatever dohyon had seen seemed to have been scary.

“hey, you alright, Dohyon-ah?” it was eunsang who voiced his concern, also turning to look at wherever his best friend was looking.

that seemed to bring the kid’s mind back to the coffee shop. then he shook his head a bit. “ah, that’s nothing. i just— remembered something i must do. thanks for the coffee again, hyung!”

Yohan watched as the boy got up to leave in a hurry, bumping into another person on the way out. “what’s gotten into him?”

“wish i knew,” dongpyo replied and sighed. “there are some things he refuses to tell us. eunsang might know, though.”

“not telling,” he hissed, but he didn’t look annoyed or mad at the accusation. he looked worried. “haven’t you heard anything from hangyul-hyung?”

“what? hyung knows too?”

“of course, they’re _siblings_.”

the barista sighed. “he just said he was worried for dohyon, but I thought it was just brotherly stuff. you know, I have two younger sisters and I’m always deeply worried for them, so I thought it was something of the sort. baseless older brother worry.”

eunsang nodded at his words. “well… it’s not that but it’s fine. or it’s going to be, at least.”

Yohan didn’t feel comforted by those words, but even if he wanted to refute it, he reasoned that it wasn’t any of his business. therefore, he simply nodded and moved back to the counter, turning on his phone to check what time it was. 

his lock screen showed that there was an unread message and upon opening it, he smiled.

> (hyeongjunie @ 6:31pm) [mini_n_i_enjoying_our_drinks_hehe.png]  
> (hyeongjunie @ 6:31pm) thank you once again hyung!!!!!! you rly saved my day today <3  
> (hyeongjunie @ 6:32pm) if theres anything i can do to repay u, lemme kno!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

…

junho wasn’t exactly fond of the way dohyon dragged him out of the coffee shop as soon as he stepped inside it. of course, he protested, but it was as if none of his words hit his ears. so he eventually just allowed his dongsaeng to do as he pleased. 

“sorry for that hyung, but i’m having some complications.”

“ _complications_ ,” he repeated, not liking it at all. “such as?”

“not so cool people?” he replied in a whisper, sounding more like a question than an affirmation. 

even though the tone was quiet and the answer short, it was enough for junho to tense up. “are they following you? why did you leave the shop then!? we can talk to hangyul-hyung—”

“no! we can’t, remember?” dohyon hissed. “if they know someone knows about it then jinwoo is going to be hurt again. it’s okay. they hadn’t seen me before i left, and even if they did, i think they’d leave me alone either way because i’m talking to you instead of my brother or Eunsang-hyung.”

the older gulped at the mention of the taller, but didn’t say a thing. instead, he’d let the other drag him to wherever he’d wanted to, distracting him by talking about different subjects such as his day at class, how proud of himself he is for finishing this one game, and even about his favourite girl group finally having a comeback.

“they had to take a long hiatus because of dumb company scandal reasons but the fans protested and they’re finally back,” he said proudly. “i wish i could have gone to offline protests, but with all these classes and exams i couldn’t. i did tweet a lot, though! and we got them back. and with a great song on top of that. in the end, we won.”

his dongsaeng looked at him with a curious smile. it felt odd but also quite warm. and he was glad he wasn’t judging him. 

“i didn’t know you like idols, hyung.”

“you’re kidding me! i’m _always_ talking about them.”

“maybe you talked less about them these days?”

that made him tilt his head in thought. “well, considering the hiatus was of almost a year, i guess it’s understandable. that could be it… but when they were active i was _always_ blabbing about them! and i’m not the only one who likes idols. especially this group. they are my favourite and also is Eunsang’s—” he stopped himself, swallowing after saying his name. yeah, Eunsang _really_ likes this group too and they often meet up to watch their content. but now he’s been watching it alone because… because Eunsang doesn’t want anything more to do with him. He made it very clear the last time they talked.

dohyon noticed the other stiffening up beside him but didn’t mention it and instead kept walking. 

junho noticed that they were entering the park where he last saw the middle schooler and it left him with a bitter taste in his mouth. “have you,” junho started, voice low and heavy, “have you been talking to him?”

“yeah… well, kinda. only sometimes.” the middle schooler let out a sigh at that. “He’s being a little insufferable and for that i’m keeping some distance, to be honest. i don’t want to argue with him.”

junho stared at his profile. “you two fought?”

“i wouldn’t call it a fight, but…”

they kept moving around the place for a few more steps until they were in front of the furthest bench from that park. the younger one stopped a few metres away from the seat and turned around. “i don’t understand why he broke up with you, hyung. it’s none of my business as it’s not my relationship but… i don’t agree with his actions. He shouldn’t have done that. especially in the way he did.”

junho felt a wave of uneasiness after hearing those words that made him scoff and look away. “you fought with him because of me?”

dohyon blinked, probably only realizing that now. “yeah. that’s exactly what i did.”

“why?” without noticing, he’d raised the tone of his voice. out of everyone who would fight Eunsang, junho never expected dohyon. and because of _him_ out of all people… he was certain dohyon would be the last one to back him up. junho was certain the kid would never be against his shared destined one. “He had his reasons to break up with me. He avoided me like the plague. and the reasons are understandable too. who wants to date someone who doesn’t treat their soulmate properly?”

“you’re his soulmate too!”

“He didn’t start seeing colours after meeting me, did he?” junho hissed at the younger. “and _i get it_. i really do. we may both be his soulmate, but we are not the same. it was you who made his sight form. not me. that will always mean something more to Eunsang and that’s okay.”

dohyon sighed at that and he was certain that he agreed with junho. him liking it or not, that _was_ how Eunsang thought. “you are wrong, hyung. that’s not okay and i’m not better than you! so what that i’m responsible for his colour sight forming? you never disrespected me or anything of the sort. even when you should have! goddamnit, hyung, you were in a complicated situation because of this whole sight thing. because of _me_. but even so, you were always so accepting. you were never rude to me.”

“i was _jealous_ of you,” junho admitted, finally turning to stare at his dongsaeng. “i still am. just because i’ve never done anything about it doesn’t mean that i was the most acceptive hyung that i could be. even when it’s only the two of us, he always includes you in some way or turns the subject to be about you. and it’s fine! i get that’s bound to happen since you came first. he is right to hate me for not liking it. i have no right to be petty about it. even at the end… he prioritizes you and always will.”

for a while, all dohyon did was stare at him as if he couldn’t believe those words. but, after a period of silence between the two, he let out a disappointed sigh. “and that Hyung dared to tell me it had nothing to do with me,” he said calmly as he walked toward the bench and sat down.

dohyon was angry and that was something odd to witness. the middle schooler was always so _calm._ would always have little expressions on his face, except for when he was so happy he couldn’t help smile adorably. but when he was angry, sad, or having any other negative thought, he’d only have a poker face and try to conceal it. even now, he was trying his best not to snap at the older. it was noticeable that he wanted to drop all his frustrations about this situation on him. 

he stared at the light pole nearby, taking a few deep breaths before speaking up again. “what do you mean by not treating his soulmate properly, by the way? just because you were jealous of me and didn’t want me to be brought up all the time? that doesn’t make you inherently bad, hyung.”

junho fought the urge to roll his eyes and sat down beside the other. “i know, but also, i’m trying to see his side. and i honestly feel like he is not at the wrong for being mad at me about it. He’s wanted us to get along and all since we met last year, so seeing how uncomfortable i can get at times… He must have had enough and decided to give me an ultimatum.”

“it’s not something easy,” dohyon comforted him. “and i can assure you that i never felt uncomfortable around you. i gotta admit though… our relationship isn’t the best one. it still isn’t, i think” he paused at that to clear his throat awkwardly. “but you’re a good hyung. and if Eunsang-hyung can’t see how great you’ve been and how much you tried, then it's _his_ loss.”

those words made the older boy lower his head and stare at his palms that were resting on his lap. in all honesty, he didn’t want to believe him. he didn’t think he’s been a good hyung, didn’t think he’s done the most to make him feel accepted, even if he didn’t think that. and despite him saying it was Eunsang’s loss… why did it feel the opposite? why did he feel like he wasn’t losing anything? He had another soulmate, one who made his sight form and all… sure, they weren’t fit to be a couple. they didn’t work out that way, but he was still his best friend and destined one. He didn’t lose anything if he stayed far away from junho.

 _he’s_ the one who would lose his own soulmate. his only soulmate at that. but even so, even if it was him who’d lose the most, he was still willing to let him go if he wanted to. because he loved the younger boy that much. loved him enough to accept that distance.

“even so, i don’t think you should be apart from each other,” dohyon continued after a long silence, voice weaker than before. “not because you are soulmates, but because you truly love each other and click so well. you really bring the best of each other and as his soulmate, it’s so beautiful to see. it makes me jealous of what you have.”

junho caught himself scoffing. what? _nam dohyon_ jealous of him? that sounded like the biggest lie he’s ever heard. but junho knew the other well. and he knew he didn’t like to lie. even if he didn’t mind it, that confession had sounded too genuine to be one.

“you shouldn’t let a misunderstanding get in the way of your happiness,” dohyon spoke once again after a few minutes of silence. “so please talk about it with Hyung. tell him what you told me. explain your side. and listen to what he has to say without angrily attacking his feelings. He fucked up but so did you, junho-hyung.”

“hey! watch your mouth.” he could feel the middle schooler’s glare burning holes into his face, rolling his eyes with a shy smile. 

“seriously, though. you were both irrational and you have a lot to talk about. i think you kept your worries from him and he did the same which caused this silly small thing to be blown up like that. you should talk, you two. and if _then_ you decide to keep being exes, then that’s okay. just don’t make this misunderstanding the reason why you’re breaking up. _fix this_.”

junho sighed at that, feeling defeated. “fine, i will.”

“and don’t explode or argue with him even if he doesn’t listen to you. Hyung can be a little stubborn but… it could make it worse.”

he nodded at the younger. “thanks for the talk, by the way. i needed it and i had no one to talk to.”

“haven’t you talked about it to dongpyo-hyung?” his dongsaeng tilted his head.

“not really… he’s trying to go back and forth between Eunsang and i but when we’re hanging out, he tries to make me not think about it. i guess he’s trying to be considerate and i appreciate, but… yeah.” he shrugged at that. “it be like that sometimes.”

“i see,” dohyon said in a low whisper, looking away from his hyung.

they stayed sitting down in silence for a couple of minutes, just enjoying the other’s company as time passed. it felt comforting at first. he was really glad to have this talk with someone. but then he thought back to earlier to when he had walked towards the cafeteria but couldn’t even enter the place as the younger dragged him away. 

he still had his own issues which were much more severe than a breakup, but here he was helping junho out. how could he say he was a good hyung? he hadn’t done much since the day they talked, exactly on this bench with Eunsang as well. junho didn’t do much because dohyon had promised to talk to his family about it and there wasn’t much a kid could do in this case. but even so, he should have been there more for him. even if just to support him regardless of the whole issue he had with their shared soulmate. he didn’t even do the minimum and he dared to say he’s a good hyung? 

there was too much to do for him to deserve being called that.

“have you told hangyul-hyung about, you know… the dudes at school?” he asked after a while, not staring at him but he didn’t need to. the second the other’s brother was mentioned, he quickly stiffened in his seat.

dohyon gulped. “i have.” 

junho emitted a relieved sound. 

“…but i didn’t say it all.”

“you promised us though,” he said in a careful, slow tone, hoping not to rub salt in the wound. “he can’t help otherwise.”

“you truly think he can help?” he turned to look at junho, but the older one still refused to meet his eyes.

“of course! he’s your brother. _older_ brother at that!”

“i told you, hyung. if they get in trouble because of me they will make it worse later. and they will return their attention to jinwoo…” 

“there must be a way to make them stop,” junho said with annoyance, but dohyon only sighed. he seemed to be too tired to do anything about it. 

but junho wouldn’t let that keep going. he didn’t want to do it, but if the kid refused to tell his brother exactly what was going on, then he would. he was his closest relative and also an adult. hangyul would certainly do something about these bullies, or at least, he would have a better idea on how to make sure that they wouldn’t come back to get revenge after being stopped. 

maybe if he showed hangyul evidence of the bullying, since the kid kept it hidden, it would get hangyul to believe him. he wasn’t so sure of what to do, but either way, he had to try. 

he wasn’t the best hyung to dohyon, despite him thinking otherwise. but it wasn’t too late to do something for his sake. 

“look, dohyon-ah,” junho broke the silence once again, turning to stare at his dongsaeng. he watched his side profile for a while before speaking again, “i’m going to make sure that you’re no longer being bothered by those kids.”

the kid blinked at that. “how?”

he smiled at him. “i _might_ have an idea.”

“might,” he deadpanned. “not exactly the most assuring thing to say, hyung.”

“well, there isn’t much i can do,” he stared carefully, “but trust me, i’ll do what i can.”

dohyon stared at him for a while and then nodded briefly. “okay then, junho-hyung. i’ll trust you.”

* * *

dongpyo let out a sigh as soon as the door closed. he arrived home the usual time, which was later than his parents liked, but he’d always say he was studying and therefore, they never bothered him. if they knew that instead he stayed two to three hours in a cafeteria, they’d be mad.

or maybe not since he was looking for _them_.

still, once he entered the house, he knew they had changed their behaviour.

“dongpyo, baby?” he heard his mom say, which made him stop in his steps. he hated that voice. it made him feel vulnerable. if it wasn’t that fake soft tone, he probably would stop feeling like he wanted to break down or vanish. it was annoying. even when he to understand her side and how hard it was for _her_ , he would still rather be talked to normally as if nothing had changed. not doing that just made things harder for himself. “could you come here for a bit?”

“yes, mom? what do you need?” he tried to sound casual with a smile that didn’t look genuine on his lips as he walked towards the table his mother was sitting at.

upon looking at her son, she smiled and silently signalled him to get even closer. 

confused, he obliged and, soon, his body was wrapped by her arms.

he didn’t hate being hugged, but it’s been so long since she’d done it. this time, it didn’t really feel comfortable and warm as much as it used to be when he was a toddler. 

dongpyo knew that his parents loved him, worried for him, despite their beliefs not matching his own. still, after all that had happened… having them act so weirdly around him made him uneasy. 

he wanted them to pay more attention to him, to be more affectionate, to hear him more… but not like this.

“how was school today?” she eventually asked, letting the boy step back a bit.

“it was… fine. tiring,” he admitted in a low voice. “exams are next month so we’re studying very hard.”

“i can see,” she laughed to herself. “you look tired. also, when was the last time you ate? you seem so thin.”

“i ate not long ago, mom. i grabbed something to eat before coming home.”

she frowned her brows. “you should eat something before sleeping either way, okay? and don’t stay up too late.”

“okay, mom.”

his mother gave him another look, this time sadder. “you know, son, your dad and i have been talking. and, well, you know how we’d love for you to go to university abroad—”

“there’s still an entire year for that.”

“ _yes_ , but it’s never too late to talk about it,” she contested and it made his stomach twist. he knew what those words implied. “well… we know you like music and dance more than medicine or advocacy. and, despite us still not fully being on board with it… we’ll support you if that’s what you want to pursue.”

that caught the younger boy off guard, blinking a couple of times. “really?”

“yeah. i mean, if you really don’t want to go to university, we can…”

his eyes started to shine. he had talked many times to his parents how he’d love to be on stage, sing and dance in front of an audience. make everyone hear his voice, look at him, and all of that. he’s dreamed so much about it and asked his parents to let him train… but they always said no. that it was not a worthy life. but here was his mother saying she’ll support him if he does so.

yet… that was in the past. he still wanted it. a _lot_. but he knew… he couldn’t do it. even if he lived the fullest and chased for his dreams, he no longer can do much. there were many things he no longer could wish for and this was one of them.

dongpyo fought the tears that wanted to form in his eyes. “it’s okay, mom. i’m going abroad as you want.” _if i do graduate_ , he thought to himself.

“are you sure?”

“yes. that was just a dumb childhood dream.”

his mother didn’t seem to be much convinced, but she let it slide. “okay. well, go to the kitchen and eat something.”

“i’m not that hungry.” _or at all_ , it echoed in his mind.

“still, please eat something,” his mother requested with a fierce glare. still, it felt weak.

but he wasn’t going to refute her a second time. “fine, i’m eating half an apple then.”

“better than nothing,” she pointed out, letting the boy walk away. “oh, dongpyo?”

he turned to stare at her. “yes? anything else you need?”

dongpyo watched as the woman opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, debating with herself whether she should say whatever crossed her mind or not. she sighed before smiling. “i love you, okay? don’t you forget that.”

those words, for some reason, made him feel tense. but as soon as the initial shock washed off, he smiled - a genuine smile that he couldn’t fight back. one that he’s failed to show since he heard the bad news. “i know. and i love you too, mom.”

* * *

> (yohanie-hyung @ 4:02pm) hey hyeongjun-ah, ive been thinking… 

the high schooler looked away from his book to stare at the notification that had just popped up. once he read those words and also who it was from, he frowned in confusion. that was quite random. yohan texting him when he wasn’t too far from himself, sitting beside the cashier with his back towards his table… 

> (me @ 4:05pm) yes?
> 
> (yohaniehyung @ 4:05pm) well… u… still owe me something right  
> (yohaniehyung @ 4:05pm) from that coffee
> 
> (me @ 4:05pm) oh haha ure right!  
> (me @ 4:06pm) is there something i can do for u, hyung? :D
> 
> (yohanie-hyung @ 4:07pm) yeh………

hyeongjun stared at his phone, for some reason full with anticipation. he wasn’t sure how to describe this feeling he was having, but minutes passed and yohan had yet to finish that line of thought. huh.

that was his cue to drop his phone on the table and return to his studies. it was a sunday and every sunday, he and Minhee had arrived at the coffee shop after lunch and ordered drinks. usually though, they would just talk, maybe joke around, but as their exams got closer they decided to take this opportunity to study together. the place was always calm on sundays. they weren’t that many customers and they were all older by a decade or so and that was a perfect atmosphere to keep up with school subjects. 

he almost forgot his phone until the screen lit up again.

> (yohanie-hyung @ 4:19pm) want to hang out later?

hyeongjun blinked once. then twice. then he felt his cheek get hotter. what was this feeling? he’s never felt something like that.

he flicked his sight towards the counter, noticing that the barista still was looking far from him, but he could see that the tips of his ears were red. that was quite… adorable.

> (yohanie-hyung @ 4:21pm) i mean  
> (yohanie-hyung @ 4:21pm) if u dont want to its ok  
> (yohanie-hyung @ 4:21pm) or if u have any other business w minhee for today thats totes ok  
> (yohanie-hyung @ 4:21pm) it doesnt have 2 be today… or ever  
> (yohanie-hyung @ 4:21pm) again, just… been thinking

without noticing, hyeongjun caught himself smiling at the chatlog.

> (me @ 4:22pm) weeeeeeeellllll  
> (me @ 4:22pm) i doooooo oweeeee youuuuuuuu  
> (me @ 4:22pm) and i dont rly have anything planned for laterrrrrrr  
> (me @ 4:22pm) so sure! :DD!!!  
> (me @ 4:23pm) where we going hyung-ah?
> 
> (yohanie-hyung @ 4:24pm) oh  
> (yohanie-hyung @ 4:24pm) i  
> (yohanie-hyung @ 4:24pm) hadnt rly thought that far actually
> 
> (me @ 4:24pm) :0  
> (me @ 4:24pm) mmmm well you can come up with something!  
> (me @ 4:25pm) whens ur shift over?
> 
> (yohanie-hyung @ 4:25pm) at five pm
> 
> (me @ 4:26pm) that’s plenty of time!  
> (me @ 4:26pm) in the meantime ill return to my studies hihi  
> (me @ 4:26pm) until later hyuuuungggggg :3

“why are you giggling at your phone? how gross.” 

hyeongjun’s attention was taken from the sound of Minhee scoff. looking at him, he had a teasing smirk on his lips, yet his eyes were back into the book he was writing on. 

the younger rolled his eyes. “nothing. but, just so you know, i can’t walk home with you today.”

that made his best friend stop his movements and meet his gaze, slightly surprised. “yeah? why so?”

he was quick to open his mouth, yet had to close it instantly. how does he explain that he owed yohan and that he’s going to go out with him? Minhee is his soulmate and he knows it. Minhee is also the one who owns his heart, and _that_ he doesn’t know. now that he remembered that, he couldn’t help but felt guilty.

did he really just accept going out with someone who is not his soulmate? him, song hyeongjun? he has the best soulmate by his side despite them being only friends. even with him being sure that nothing would even happen between the two of them, he couldn’t think of being with someone who _wasn’t_ Minhee. yet that’s almost what he just did.

well, it’s not like he’s going on a _date_ with yohan or anything like that… they’re just hanging out because he owns a favour. there’s nothing wrong with that… right? but why couldn’t he tell _him_ that? what was this feeling in his chest that made him feel so happy and so guilty at the same time?

“my… mom just wants me to go to the market to grab some stuff for dinner,” he caught himself saying, feeling even worse. hyeongjun wasn’t one to tell lies. he hated even the white ones. but there he was, lying to his best friend and soulmate.

Minhee didn’t look like he believed him, a frown getting deeper once he closed his mouth. but he nodded anyway. “well, i could always help.”

“th— there won’t be any need! it’s just some small things anyway. and i don’t want to bother you.”

“how many times must i assure you that’s never gonna happen?” he sighed. “you can never bother me. it’s okay, though. i can walk home on my own. just don’t get lost without me,” Minhee finished with a wink. 

_i think i’m more lost with you, though_ , hyeongjun thought but refused to say, forcing a smile instead. “thanks, i guess.”

the older snorted at that as he was closing his books and putting them in his bag. “text me once you’re home, okay? or i’ll think you really did get lost.”

“i love how much faith you have in me,” he teased back but was then laughing. “see you tomorrow at class, Minhee-yah.”

“see ya. bye yohan-hyung! great coffee as always.”

hyeongjun turned to the counter once again, noticing how abruptly the barista turned towards Minhee so that he could respond. the scene made him laugh. 

it was nice to see them interacting, his best friend and soulmate and… well, his favourite hyung, he supposed. someone he liked and was comfortable with. probably his second best friend, if they were closer.

yeah. that was yohan to him. a nice hyung. a potential best friend. nothing more, right?

“My shift is over,” the older said half an hour later, approaching the table hyeongjun was still at. “ _and_ I’ve come up to a place where we can hang out.”

the small boy ignored the way his stomach flipped at yohan’s presence and instead focused on getting his materials into his bag. “that’s great!” he managed to say without showing off how nervous he felt and avoiding yohan’s eyes. “let’s get going, then, hyung.”

he didn’t manage to see how the other reacted to his hurriedness, but he hoped he would stay his usual smiley and calm self. there was no reason for him to be as nervous as he was currently feeling.

_right?_

* * *

eunsang was heartbroken. but what he felt worse than that was _guilt._

he knew junho was a nice boyfriend, a nice soulmate. more than that, he was a reliable friend. he knew that when he said that junho had done _nothing_ to help Dohyon, that was not true. he couldn’t drop all the blame on what was happening with dohyon on junho just because he’d kept his calm and asked carefully what was wrong when all eunsang wanted to do was hunt the boys down and smash their faces. junho had been attentive and considerate. because of that, they were trusted to know what was happening at his school. 

compared to himself, his - now ex - boyfriend had done much more to help Dohyon. what has he done? kept him company once he was out of school during some days? argued with junho and broken up with him?

if there was someone who was not a nice boyfriend, a nice soulmate, nor a nice friend… it was lee eunsang.

the cafeteria’s door opened and alongside it, the ring echoed in the shop. eunsang lifted his head and was met with junho’s shape who was looking around. he caught himself feeling slightly nervous and once junho saw where he was sitting and moved closer, it grew much more intense. it’s been nearly two months since their last conversation. despite them being classmates, they managed to avoid each other at all costs.

or well. _he_ did. junho was too kind to try to make any advances when he made it clear that he wanted no more business with him.

“i got your text,” the older boy said with his voice low, but clearly tense. “can i sit?”

eunsang gave the other a silent nod. “aren’t you going to order anything?”

“i’m not really hungry. i don’t plan to stay too long anyway.”

 _ouch._ he wasn’t sure why, but that hurt him. even if what he said was quite obvious. they were here to talk and move on with their lives. each on their own way.

but… did eunsang _really_ want that? he was the one who had given junho an ultimatum; one that he didn’t exactly have a choice to begin with. however, he didn’t say those things with the best mindset. 

“that’s understandable,” he chose to say instead, swallowing down hard. “well, i—”

“can i go first?” junho interrupted him. 

eunsang blinked at that, not expecting it. 

“i haven’t really done any of the speaking since, you know… our last conversation. and i feel like if i don’t speak now, i never will.”

“oh. okay?”

“it’s not anything personal. you know me. i don’t always voice what i think,” he explained with a calm voice. 

eunsang nodded at that. it was true. the older would always keep things to himself and simply agree with anything others told him. it was something he noticed himself but never paid much mind. maybe that was wrong of him. he should have told junho to open up more. he is— _was_ his boyfriend, after all!

“first of all, you were right. not totally, but in parts,” he admitted with a sigh. “i felt a bit wary when it came to dohyon. i would be lying if i said that the whole colour sight thing didn’t make me insecure and quite jealous. but it wasn’t like i actively tried to shut him down. sure, i could have been more accepting at times, but also… i have feelings too, you know. it was hard to swallow all at once.” 

“i understand,” eunang replied quietly, almost a whisper.

“you can—” junho cleared his throat. “you can refute it if you want to.”

did he? he’s already said a lot - a little too much, he had to admit - when they broke up. although… “i don’t think you were a bad hyung or friend. it was unacceptable for me to accuse you of that. and i’m sorry for saying that. i was angry and unwarrantedly said mean things.”

“it wasn’t unwarranted. i get where you were coming from.”

“but i also get now where _you_ were coming from and that was unreasonable of me,” eunsang calmly. “it was wrong of me to expect you to be the most accepting person when your soulmate told you that you weren't their only destined one. especially since it was Dohyon who made me see colours… i get that it must be frustrating and awful to your end. hell, you probably had it harder than him and i combined, and i was a bitch to you.”

junho stared at him, breathing in and out with poise. “that’s okay.”

“no, it isn’t! i was an awful boyfriend _and_ friend and—”

“Eunsang-ah,” junho called out softly, still so undisturbed, and it was then that eunsang noticed junho had reached out to rest one hand over his own. “i don’t blame you for that. you wanted the best for us both, in a way. but especially for dohyon because he’s younger and has been with you for longer, and you didn’t want to suddenly exclude him. it’s okay, really.”

“but i ended up doing that to _you._ ”

junho paused. “yeah, but that was still okay. at least you recognized that. i too fucked up a bit. i should have told you my worries before.”

eunsang couldn’t look at him anymore and chose to stare at the world outside instead. funny, the sky was so pretty. the day had been so sunny and now the sun was almost completely set. “i didn’t deserve you. i still don’t.”

“that is me who should say that,” junho disagreed and fought down a scoff. “i mean it. two soulmates must mean the double the responsibility. the attention… and even, i understand why you would prioritize him. it’s fine. i would too if you both were mine, i guess.”

his voice sounded really sad and it hurt eunsang to hear it. but he still sounded quite warm and calm. the older wasn’t accusing him of neglecting him or sarcastically mentioning it in a way for him to feel guilty.

however, that didn’t stop him for feeling such. it actually made him feel worse because junho genuinely tried his best to put himself in his shoes and had no remorse over the breakup. over the accusations he threw him. over the harsh words.

“Eunsang-ah, you’re crying.”

oh…? he raised one of his hands onto his cheek and— yeah, indeed he had a couple of tears rolling down his cheeks. “why…?”

once the question fell from his mouth, a hiccup followed. then another one. and soon he was crying like never before. eunsang honestly wasn’t sure why he was breaking down like this. in front of junho, inside the coffee shop. but he was and all he could do was hide his face between his palms.

a body wrapped around him and it felt so comfortable. he didn’t even look at the other nor questioned his reasons before he leaned in, letting junho coo at him and rub his hands up and down his back.

god, he was probably making such an ugly scene. and for what? 

“let it out, Eunsang-ah,” the older’s voice came in after a while. “it’s okay. i got you now.”

“why— why are you so nice to me?” eunsang asked in between a few sobs, quieter than before but still there with eyes still watery. “when i don’t deserve it?”

“don’t say that. You do deserve it.”

“stop— i’m so sorry, junho-yah. i snapped at you for no reason and said awful things—”

“and that’s in the past,” junho said, fingers now running through his hair. “i forgive you.”

those three words were relieving to hear but the guilt didn’t leave him. “i’m sorry.”

“it’s okay.”

“i even ruined your shirt by crying like a baby.”

“and you can even rip it if it makes you feel better.”

“why would i—” he started questioning and then blushed a bit. _nope. he is your ex and you fucked up, lee eunsang, put that thought away!_ “still, i’m sorry.”

“and still, it’s okay.”

“will you keep saying that?”

“as long as you keep apologizing.”

eunsang bit his lip, fighting down a giggle. he pulled back a bit from junho’s embrace and looked at him with a blurry vision. “thanks.”

“don’t worry about it. are you feeling better now?”

“a bit,” he admitted, looking away a moment. “are we okay, though…?” he watched as the other tilted his head, expression serious. 

“are we?”

“i’m not sure. that’s why i’m asking.”

“i told you, Eunsang-ah. i understand why you said what you did. and i know you regret some bits of it. i forgive you for that.”

“that doesn’t mean we are okay.”

“well,” he paused before continuing, “do you want us to be okay? do you want to keep talking to me or… go back?”

 _of course i want us to be okay_ , was eunsang’s immediate thought. but the second question… it wasn’t as easy to answer.

“i have my own thoughts, but we should talk it out,” junho spoke again. “us _both_. together. we can’t keep things to ourselves. like when i felt wary about dohyon or you not liking how i wanted more time with only us two. that should start now. what do _you_ want?”

eunsang stared at the other for a while, mind going wild. thing was, he didn’t know what he wanted. he liked the time they spent as best friends, loved even more when they were boyfriends. it brought him so much pleasure to talk about junho to others, to introduce him as his, to explain their situation and why it didn’t matter if his sight formed with someone else. cha junho was his. but after this outburst he had, after he told the same boy he so pridefully had on his side to leave and never look back, could they really be the same? even if they did try to go back, would that be actually good? they could have issues again, just as damaging as this one. junho could hide things from him again. eunsang could be too demanding again. then they’d be in this situation a second time. and he didn’t want that.

(although, when he thought of the good days they spent, the cute dates, the nice talks… it made him crave it. crave junho. whenever he thought of the good things, though, the guilt came back. how could you have ignored all of this for one petty, unwarranted reason?)

eunsang didn’t know what he wanted, he told himself, but deep down he knew that wasn’t totally true. maybe he _knew_ what he wanted but wasn’t sure that he deserved it. he wasn’t sure if he wouldn’t hurt junho a second time. and he couldn’t bear to do that again. he wouldn’t forgive himself. he still hadn’t forgiven himself for _this_ time.

“i want us to go back into being friends. let’s… go slow.”

the older seemed a bit taken aback by that. and maybe even disappointed. but he simply nodded and agreed.

(eunsang hated how well he could read him. it only made him feel even more guilty.

but this was for the best, wasn’t it? at least for now?)

* * *

minhee was washing his hands and getting ready to leave the cafeteria’s restroom when something quite unusual happened. a boy, one who was really small compared to himself but most likely about his age, entered through the door seemingly in a hurry with hands over his mouth. he hadn’t intended to stare, but the noise of the door suddenly opening had startled him and got his attention. the stranger was quick to lock himself in one of the stalls leaving him puzzled and by himself.

whatever had just happened, it was obviously none of minhee’s business. he didn’t need to do anything. it didn’t concern him. plus, hyeongjun was waiting for him outside so that they’d go to his home and do their chemistry homework together. still, when he heard the boy puke violently… he couldn’t just walk away. “hey, uhm… You okay over there?”

at first, he hadn’t gotten any response. well, _of course_ , he was sick. but then panic rose over him and he could only think of the worst. _what if he passed out? what if he accidentally hit his head?_ so he walked towards the door and knocked, asking once again if he was well. 

he counted a second. two. ten. as the restroom was still in silence, he decided to knock again, and this time, he got a response. it was a quiet groan, but still enough for him to know the other was at least awake.

“hello? You still there? do you need something, or do i call someon—”

“no! don’t… don’t call anyone.”

minhee froze at the stranger’s voice, surprised that he actually got a response. “okay. can i do something for you then?”

again, the room was in silence. but, this time, it was the other who broke it. “can you get me some paper towel or something to wipe this mess? there’s no toilet paper here.”

“s— sure,” he replied, catching himself stuttering on the word as he was trying to do as asked of quickly. once he got the paper towels, he knocked a few times on the door to let him know he fetched them.

it took him a moment to open the door, but soon enough the lock clicked. it opened a bit and there was one small hand sliding out. minhee handed him the few paper sheets he’s gotten without a word despite so many questions floating around in his head.

the interaction felt somehow slow to him as if it were happening in slow motion. in reality, it was going by at a normal pace that ended quicker than you could blink an eye. their eyes had met and he stared at the stranger, his heart tightening for some reason he couldn’t name. it didn’t take long before the boy put the door in between them again.

“uhm, are you better now? is there anything else that you need?”

“no, thanks.”

minhee tried not to sigh at that. there was no reason for him to overthink this. to worry about the other. but he couldn’t move away from the door. “are you certain about that? You just puked a lot and i’m sure it wasn’t from anything you ate here.”

“ _really?_ how can you be so sure?”

the tone he used was accusatory and harsh, but minhee reasoned it was because of the events from not long ago. besides, his throat must be dry after puking so much. “i just know that,” he admitted in a quiet voice, almost a whisper. since there were only the two of them in it, he was sure the other had heard him.

the atmosphere felt tense and cold, almost intoxicating. he knew he didn’t need to say anything. he knew he shouldn’t butt in more than he already has. he had places to go and things to do instead of bothering someone he’s never met in his life. still, his mind and body didn’t seem to be on the same page. 

something was making him stay. something was making him wish he could help. he couldn’t ignore it for some reason.

the lock clicked a second time and the door fully opened this time. he stared at the other boy and analyzed his features. He had dark hair and white skin; fat plump lips but small everything else. He was… cute. save for the fact he also looked quite dead.

“i’m fine,” He affirmed, proceeding to walk towards the sink. 

minhee didn’t buy it, noticing the way he limped slightly.

“are you dizzy? You shouldn’t walk if you aren’t—”

“i just said i am fine, _Stranger_.” the boy stared at him through the mirror, washing his hands.

His straightforward reply made minhee scoff and become slightly annoyed. come on, he’s trying to help! “You don’t have to be so rude, little one. i’m trying to be of help.”

“little one? shut it. i can bite your kneecaps,” he hissed and rolled his eyes as he turned around. He was probably going to say more offensive stuff, but before he could open his mouth he lost balance. 

minhee was quick to notice it though, rushing towards him before he could hit the ground. “see? fine, my ass!” he complained out of frustration. “seriously, let me call for someone.”

“no! no one can see me like this.”

“what?” the tall blond couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “are you kidding me or something? listen, you’re obviously not in good shape and this could be quite serious. You _need_ help.”

“trust me. i know that way too well,” he grumbled. “they just… can’t know how bad it is, okay? stop asking.”

minhee stared at the stranger, fighting down a groan. “have you come here with someone?” He shook his head. “it’s whatever. i’ll feel better soon. don’t worry.”

minhee rolled his eyes. “look. You do you, so i’m not going to do anything you don’t want, okay? but… You gotta be careful about— _this._ it sounds like it’s something recurring and if you’re not telling anyone, then how can people help?”

“what makes you think i want them to help? them to worry to death?” 

the kid finally stared directly into his face and it was then when minhee realized how close they were. minhee was holding him still, supporting his small shape. now with him looking up their faces were only a palm or so apart. 

“i’ve got enough people worrying about me and it fucking sucks. i hate when people treat me like i’m delicate and it’s impossible for me to take care of myself. i hate how the smallest thing i do is motive for them to go nuts and think that it’s going to be my last day. i don’t need more of that shit, _thank you_.”

those harsh words made the taller boy swallow hard as he was looking down at the kid. He seemed annoyed, but even so… he felt sad for him. felt sorry for him. it hadn’t been long since he'd been so vulnerable and feeling sick, but instead of accepting help, he was _tired_ of getting it. 

He didn’t want to be a burden to others. and that hurt minhee’s heart.

“i’m sorry you feel that way,” he stated in a quiet yet genuine tone. “but i’m sure they don’t intend to treat you like this helpless thing. they’re just worried for you. and for the little i saw, it’s a reasonable worry.”

the other rolled his eyes at that and looked away. “i’m not listening to this. _especially_ coming from a stranger.”

“fine! don’t listen to me,” minhee replied right away. “just— take care, _for them_ at least. for the sake of those who care for you. and don’t keep this grudge about them trying to help you.”

“they won’t get it—”

“exactly! they don’t get how you feel. that’s a you thing.” he sighed, watching as the younger finally met his eyes again. wow, that was probably not the time to think so, but he was so… breathtaking. beautiful in a delicate way. he could understand why he had so many people who worried for his well being to the point it got too much.

minhee just met him but he caught himself relating to that.

“they don’t understand because it’s just you who’s feeling it. who’s living with it,” he carefully continued, ignoring the fluttery feelings that started to spread through his cheeks. “but if that bothers you that much, take more care of yourself and rely on them when you need. show them that you’re okay, but also don’t hide things from them. it’ll just make them worry more.”

those words made the other frown and open his mouth. probably to refute that, but no sound left his mouth. minhee wasn’t sure if he was speechless or if his throat gave away, but he stayed like that for a while, opening his mouth a bit and immediately shutting it. he couldn’t tell what went through his head.

“are you better now? can i let you go?” he asked carefully. the boy’s smaller shape was still using his own as his support, but once he heard that, he moved a step backwards and nodded. minhee let go of his arm, watching in case he needed to grab him again. “well, i guess i should get going—”

“why do _you_ care?” He finally spoke again, tilting his head out of confusion. “we literally met for the first time. i don’t know you and you don’t know me, but even so… why do you care?”

 _why?_ the blond one still had no idea. that wasn’t something he often did. he wasn’t one to butt in others’ business. even in scenarios like the one from earlier. but there was something that he couldn’t explain that told him he should do it. that was _pulling_ him towards the other to make sure that he was okay.

there was no other way to describe it. it _wasn’t_ explainable otherwise. “You looked like you needed help, so i helped. that’s it.”

“really?” the other scoffed, tone so vile it angered minhee. “how noble of you, my. fucking. hero.”

“i’m not asking you to thank me or anything of the sorts,” minhee spat back, annoyed. “actually, i don’t know why i’m still talking to you since you’re clearly uncomfortable with help in any shape of form.”

minhee hated losing his cool, especially in front of strangers. but there was something about this dude that just irked him in the wrong way. he couldn’t name it but… there was something impactful about him. maybe this is why he decided to lend him some help. because of this _something_ … he wasn’t sure. but in response, he’s been so rude and for what?

why was that bothering him that much anyway? it’s not like the boy was anything to him. much the opposite. there was a bigger chance that they’d never meet again more than them crossing ways a second time. He’s just a random stranger he had the displeasure to chat with.

that was it.

“wait.”

minhee paused in front of the door, hand already on the knob, but refused to turn around. instead, he looked over his shoulder. “what?”

he could see that the petit boy had his arms crossed in front of his chest but couldn’t see his expression. “… thanks, i guess.”

he scoffed out of disbelief. “ _You guess._ ”

“yeah. i mean,” he cleared his throat, “You don’t know me and didn’t have to do shit. and instead of being nice, i did the opposite when all you did you help me and even listen to my troubles. so, yeah. thanks.”

“no problem, dude. well, unless we cross ways a second time… goodbye. _i guess_.”

without listening to the other’s reply, he left the restroom. hyeongjun was still at their table, looking irritated. minhee walked towards him, silently grabbed his bag, and began walking away.

“Minhee? wait— You can’t just walk away like that! and by the way, what took you so long?”

minhee furrowed his eyes at the fresh memory of the young boy. “if i tell you, i don’t think you’ll believe me.”

his best friend widened his eyes at that. but even so, didn’t look like he was going to make fun of him. “enlighten me, then.”

* * *

> (eunsangie @ 2:12pm) yo, you missed class yesterday  
> (eunsangie @ 2:12pm) and the day before. and its been a while since we saw you in general  
> (eunsangie @ 2:12pm) everything good?

dongpyo sighed. he hated when his friends worried this much about him even though they meant well. it was good to know that they cared so much for him, but it would always make him guilty for being like this. 

it was a stupid loop. they didn’t know what was happening to him, so they worried. he knew that if they did know, it would be much worse. his friends would worry more and it would affect the way they treated him. if there was something dongpyo wanted to avoid the most, it was that.

nothing was worse than being pitied by those who are around you. even if they didn’t mean ill, it just made him feel like a useless dying piece of shit.

_«i’m sure they don’t intend to treat you like this helpless thing. they’re just worried for you.»_

he sighed once more, remembering the boy who tried to help him the other day. the worst thing was that he knew the stranger had a point. He _was_ right. even so, he couldn’t… it was not something he could bear. not from eunsang or junho. not even from little dohyon. he didn’t want them to treat him like that. with pity. he wanted them to be friendly. _like this_.

dongpyo was aware that his friends would probably be less worried if he told them more about his condition. at the same time, he was sure their reactions would be different, even if minimally. it was just like his family relatives who would message his parents almost every day in hopes of good news. it was just like his teachers who would give him a knowing look and let him get away with half-finished homework and bad grades that if it were anyone else, they’d be stricter. it was just like his mother and father who used to have so many dreams on his behalf and now didn’t even care about them.

they used to be so strict and now they’d just wait for his words so that they could agree. it was so weird.

maybe young dongpyo would be _living_ right now; would be so pleased to have them spoiling him. right now, it would always make him sick instead. he hated this special treatment he was getting; acting as if they were spending their last days with him.

he would rather forget that the possibility was there. he’d rather live normally - or as normally as it was possible - regardless if that day was arriving next week or in the next decade.

so, he couldn’t _not_ lie to them.

besides, was it really a lie if he was just omitting the truth? he was going to be okay. this was going to be successful and he’s going to keep on with his life. 

it wasn’t a lie if he said he was fine. it _was_ going to be, eventually.

> (me @ 2:29pm) m’good eunsang-ah  
> (me @ 2:29pm) just a bit tired and all  
> (me @ 2:29pm) its just my illness fucking up my immunity, nothing new  
> (me @ 2:29pm) ill meet you all soon dw
> 
> (eunsangie @ 2:29pm) :(  
> (eunsangie @ 2:31pm) promise me  
> (eunsangie @ 2:31pm) promise youre going to get better and meet us again  
> (eunsangie @ 2:32pm) its been barely a week but we all miss u when ur not with us :/
> 
> (eunsangie @ 2:46pm) pyo?
> 
> (me @ 2:48pm) fine. i promise  
> (me @ 2:48pm) wait  
> (me @ 2:48pm) us??????? as in plural???????
> 
> (eunsangie @ 2:50pm) ah yeah… maybe… junho and i talked
> 
> (me @ 2:50pm) omfg you stupid prick  
> (me @ 2:51pm) tell me everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* * *

“hey, hangyul-hyung,” hyeongjun greeted cheerfully, eyeing the place as he approached the counter with his best friend. “where’s yohan-hyung?”

“at the back,” came hangyul’s reply alongside a wink. despite him not questioning the younger, it was enough to make the boy’s cheeks burn. “same as always?”

“yes, please.” it was Minhee who replied, already moving to grab his wallet. “but make it two slices of red velvet cake rather than one.”

that made hyeongjun raise a brow at him. “why so, Minhee-yah? You usually can’t eat an entire slice on your own.”

“i’m in a sweets mood, i guess.” he shrugged. “not sure. i just feel like something is going to happen soon. don’t worry, i’ll pay for it all.”

“that’s not why i questioned you, dumbass.” hyeongjun rolled his eyes. “but if you insist, i’m not gonna deny free food.” hyeongjun laughed as the taller gave him a dark glare. 

after dramatically rolling his eyes, Minhee paid for both drinks and slices without a word, thanked hangyul, and then moved towards a table near the windows. 

before they sat, though, hyeongjun crossed eyes with someone familiar, but… where did he know him? he stopped in the middle of the walkway, staring at the stranger and trying to remember where he’d seen him before. 

the boy was happily chatting with another boy. this one someone he didn’t recognize. he had one hand on his chin and grinned at his companion with a look that seemed quite… flirtatious. hyeongjun probably shouldn’t be staring at them like that, but before he could look away he was caught. 

the stranger frowned for a second and then smiled wide, raising his hand and waving to hyeongjun. “oh? hey! you’re the boy close to yohan-hyung, aren’t you?”

“uhm.” he wasn’t sure what to say but even so, he nodded as he moved closer. “i mean, i am close to hyung, so i guess that’s me… and you are?”

“oh, right. i never introduced myself! i’m lee eunsang. and this is my—” he paused to stare at his companion before turning again to hyeongjun. “this is cha junho. the other day you came in and had texted yohan-hyung…? we met then.”

“oh, right! now that you mention it, i remember you! i’m song hyeongjun.” he smiled brightly at them while he remembered that exact day. right, he had been at the counter, listening to another boy tease yohan and himself—

he tilted his head as he thought about the memory. that boy wasn’t here now. “by the way, wasn’t there another boy with you—”

“hyeongjun-ah, where are you going— oh, hello there?” Minhee walked over to where the conversation was happening and turned his head to his friend. “do you know them?”

“not sure if i can say that i do,” hyeongjun answered carefully. “but yeah, we’ve met before. they’re close to yohan-hyung.”

“not as close as you, though,” eunsang said in a neutral tone, one that didn’t sound like he was teasing nor making fun of hyeongjun, but the affirmation still made him even shyer. “hi, i’m lee eunsang and this is cha junho.”

“…kang minhee. i’m this one’s best friend.”

“this one?!”

eunsang laughed at that. “i can see you really are best friends. that’s how i introduce dongpyo to others too.”

that took ahold of hyeongjun’s attention. “is that one of the boys who were with you the other day?”

“hm? oh, i guess i was with dongpyo then, wasn’t i? Dohyon was there too. maybe. i don’t remember.” he poked his lower lip with his index finger. “man, we should all hang around one day or another. you seem nice. also i’d love to get more dirt on yohan-hyung. he’s the best to joke around with.”

“why would i have dirt on yohan-hyung…? and why would you want to know it?”

“to tease him, of course.”

“you must have enough to do that.” Minhee raised a brow at the one sitting down.

eunsang tilted his head to the side, expression thoughtful. “well, even if i did, you must know more than me! i mean, aren’t you two—”

“minhee! hyeongjun! your order is done!” hangyul’s voice echoed in the cafeteria.

 _what a great timing that was, my saviour_ , hyeongjun mentally thanked the older as he looked at the two boys sitting down while smiling softly at them. “well, it was great to meet you, eunsang-ssi. junho-ssi. we will see each other around, yes? let’s get going, Minhee-yah. i’m hungry.”

“uhm, sure?” minhee replied as he watched him go to the counter. 

hyeongjun heard his best friend bid the others farewells before moving to follow him.

after they moved back to their table, they ate and drank in silence for a while. Minhee was sitting in front of him but even so, he could still see the duo beside his shoulder. hyeongjun sighed. “You think that boy you talked about is a friend of theirs?”

“the one i met in the restroom?” after hyeongjun’s nod, Minhee hummed in thought. “might be. they have the same uniform, actually.”

“oh really? that’s interesting.”

“i guess,” he answered almost automatically. he then leaned in toward his smaller best friend and smiled in quite a dark manner. “they were nice. we should definitely talk to them more next time, don’t you think?”

“i— i guess?”

“especially since they mentioned yohan-hyung quite a few times. i’m _curious_.”

hyeongjun could feel his cheeks get warmer. “there’s nothing to be curious about.”

“are you sure? because with the way they talked, it seemed like there was something i wasn’t aware of,” he replied and pouted in fake-offence. “and _wow_ , hyeongjun-ah, you’re such a bad person! why do strangers know about it and i, your blond, tall and gorgeous best friend, cannot?”

“stop being so dramatic. it’s not cute.” hyeongjun rolled his eyes, but what minhee said only made his cheeks burn more and his heart beat faster. damned be Kang Minhee. so damn adorable for no reason and with no effort. how annoying… 

(annoying _ly sweet._ )

he ignored that thought though. 

“it’s not they know something you don’t. it’s just— remember when you were sick? i texted hyung to get our order done faster. they were by the counter and noticed i just grabbed my drinks without ordering, so they put two and two together.”

Minhee stared at him. “huh.”

“ _huh_? what’s that supposed to mean?”

“that this is not nothing,” he stated with a grin on his lips. “that’s a huge thing. it’s proof that hyung is very whipped and would give you special treatment at any given opportunity.”

“oh, shut up,” hyeongjun mumbled as he rolled his eyes and looked down at his cake to poke it with the spoon he was given. “he’s just nice.”

“well. yeah, he _is_ nice.” Minhee nodded at that. “but he’s also very into you.”

“ _please_.”

“and you’re not totally against that, too.”

hyeongjun could feel his cheeks on fire. he could deny it, could try to brush it off, but he knew that Minhee was right. hyeongjun didn’t really hate that yohan was extra kind to him. didn’t despise when they hung out together or chatted through texting. there was nothing to hate about him. 

much the opposite, actually. 

but _that_ was something he hated. why couldn’t yohan have some massive flaw? some of his pet peeves that would make him unbearable? hyeongjun hoped that he just didn’t know the other well enough to find something to hate but he caught himself not minding any of what people would consider to be flaws. 

he was too good, too sweet to him. that was scary and he hated to be scared. 

why couldn’t yohan be his soulmate? things would be so much easier. it was nice that the older man had an interest in him and that they clicked well, but he would never be able to give him what he wanted. even if he had hyeongjun as his soulmate, he was destined to _Minhee_. not that his best friend had himself as his other half, nor that he felt the same, but he had accepted it and was coming in terms with having no love life, for the sake of their friendship. 

nothing could guarantee him that yohan would understand. 

“you should give him a go, hyeongjun-ah,” his best friend spoke again, breaking the silence that was built between them. 

“but i might disappoint him because of our fate not being linked.”

Minhee stared at him for a short while before continuing. “maybe. but also, you might discover he’s the love of your life. maybe you will match so well it’ll be better than when we first met.”

 _that’s impossible,_ hyeongjun thought to himself. _You are my destiny in one way or another and that can’t be changed._

 _but… if_ you _are the one telling me this, maybe it’s time for me to try to move on._

“i will consider it, Minhee-yah.”

…

“there was no need to hesitate like that, Eunsang-ah,” junho suddenly spoke up in a low voice, making eunsang turn to him. 

“what?”

“when you went _‘this is my’_ to those two,” junho clarified. “just say my name. or let me introduce myself.”

“oh. right. i’m sorry.”

“don’t be. it’s fine.”

“no, junho-yah. it’s not,” he sighed tiredly. “it’s just… i’m so used to calling you my boyfriend and it feels weird to adapt.”

at that, his companion tensed up. “you were the one who said you want things to go slow.”

“i know that, but—” eunsang caught himself sighing again. “i’m sorry.”

“Eunsang-ah?”

“i lied,” eunsang started quietly. “when i said i didn’t want to go back and all.”

junho stared at him seriously. “why didn’t you tell me that, then…?”

“because i didn’t think it would be a good idea. for both of us, but mostly _you_ ,” eunsang admitted. “that is going to change everything between us! actually, it’s _already_ changed. and i guess it’s better to just… accept it.”

“is this what you want?”

“stop asking what i _want_ ,” eunsang snapped with his head down. “it doesn’t matter.”

“of course it does. Eunsang, love, please look at me,” junho pleaded.

eunsang lifted his head and stared at junho’s eyes that were so kind, so welcoming. like they always were. 

he loved them so much. loved _him_ so much.

honestly, who is he trying to fool? he is still madly in love with those eyes, and that nose, and his pretty lips too. he was in love with all of cha junho. 

he’s in love with cha junho.

“hyungs! it’s so good to see you two together! you have _no_ idea!” 

the duo stopped their conversation when Dohyon walked towards their table and sat across from them. He stared at the two of them who were both staring back with puzzled faces. “wait. did i interrupt something? are you two still fighting? i can come back later—”

“sit down, Dohyon-ah,” eunsang interrupted with a sigh. “we aren’t fighting anymore, but we’re still having some misunderstandings.”  
“baby steps,” junho replied beside him. 

“ _oooookaaaay_ ,” the youngest drew out for as long as he could, looking like he was not too convinced. “are you two on good terms though?”

junho stared at his companion. “are we?”

eunsang gulped nervously noticing both his soulmates were staring directly at him. they are, aren’t they?

he knew they still had a lot to talk about. when junho had asked him before what he wanted to be of the two of them from then onwards, he had omitted what he really wanted because he thought it’d be for the best. eunsang had been selfish for too long and he tried to put him before him this one time, but it also meant he hadn’t been fully honest. and, well, that wasn’t fair for junho. not when _he_ had been honest. 

he had lots to tell him. but there was something that was certain though: their fight _was_ over. things were going to get better from now on if they expressed their feelings with one another and went according to whatever they decided to do.

coming to that conclusion, he eased his shoulders and he nodded. “yeah. we’re good.”

“ _thank fucking god._ ”

“yah, dohyon-ah! what did i say about language!”

the middle schooler laughed at that. “sorry, sorry. i was just too stressed about this whole situation. especially because, you know—”

“it was _not_ your fault.”

“it was. even if indirectly,” he replied in a tired tone. “but that is in the past and everything is great, peaceful and with nothing to worry about. right, junho-hyung?”

the older nodded. “yeah. we can keep gaying and shoving on everyone’s face that we are all destined to each other despite us being three dudes in peace.”

“and make everyone grossed out.”

“but still very jealous because we’re the best.”

“and have what they can’t.”

eunsang frowned with curiosity in his veins. he stared at Dohyon, then at junho and back to Dohyon. in the meantime, the two shared a high five and giggled.

 _what the hell._ “did i miss something or is that just a feeling?”

“yes, you totally did,” their dongsaeng gave him a grin before continuing. “let’s just say that there’s no need to worry over me or jinwoo for a while. and it’s thanks to junho-hyung.”

“hey, my plan would have failed if it wasn’t for hangyul-hyung’s help.”

“the plan still is yours though? stop belittling yourself, hyung.”

eunsang kept staring between his two destined ones. “are none of you going to explain what happened?!”

it was junho and dohyon’s turn to share a look, staring at each other’s face without opening their mouths. is this what others felt when he looked at either junho and Dohyon and had a silent conversation? because that was quite uncomfortable.

(although… it felt nice to see them this close.)

the older of the two was the one who broke the silence, sighing as he turned to his soulmate. “hangyul-hyung and i got those bullies expelled.”

eunsang’s jaw fell. “you what?! _how?!_ ”

“by being a mastermind!” Dohyon excitedly exclaimed. “he framed them!”

“it’s not framed if they were actually doing bad stuff,” junho shrugged him off. “but yeah. they didn’t leave dohyon alone and i knew if they got punished, they’d just get worse at him and jinwoo. so i had to make sure that they wouldn’t be able to come back.”

“and it was _so cool!_ ”

eunsang kept staring back and forth between the two but even so, he was still too confused. “wait, slow down a bit. how did you do it?”

junho bit the insides of his cheeks before continuing. “well, we told hangyul-hyung everything that had happened in the past few months without skipping any detail - which should have done much sooner but _someone_ refused to open up - and then told him to go to school with dohyon. of course, with his hyung being all protective and with his intimidating face around the campus, it made that asshole notice that something was up, so he tried to talk it out with dohyon.”

“it was more shouting and threatening than talking, really.”

“but that was exactly what we needed,” the older continued. “because i told dohyon right here to keep his phone recording, or maybe on a call with someone, so that we could report him.”

“it was so scary!” the youngest interrupted again, but he didn’t look like he was concerned or any of the sort. he still seemed excited. “i had to make him say all these bullies’ names as well as what they were going to do to me and jinwoo so that we could take them all, and i could barely speak! i was really afraid that he’d punch me or try to steal from me and notice i was recording it, but i left unharmed. wow, the thrilling shiver that i got! it was like a movie!!”

“yeah, it was awful. i was so afraid that i’d get him in more trouble than he already was in.”

eunsang had his eyes wide open, not believing what they were telling him. “i can’t believe you’ve risked your safety like that! i can’t believe you came up with that stupid action movie script plan, cha junho! and i can’t believe you went on board with that, Nam Dohyon! what were you two thinking?”

“it was fine. we had hangyul-hyung to back us up.”

“and it wasn’t like i agreed to risk myself right away! but it was better than to keep being scared.”

“besides, in the end, my plan worked perfectly, so please quit scolding us.” junho pouted as he finished saying those words, head tilted and staring intensely at the other. 

and eunsang, who was previously so shocked, could only darken his expression as he stared back. “you’re something else. but you’re right. things are better now. so thank you for protecting my precious dongsaeng.”

junho smiled warmly. “he’s my dongsaeng too.”

“he’s actually _my_ dongsaeng?” 

they heard a voice from behind them, making the three of them jump. looking up, they faced hangyul who had his arms crossed. “anyway, you’re being extremely loud. please kindly shut up or i’ll have to ask you to leave. yadda yadda.”

Dohyon clicked his tongue. “no need to be so rude, hyung.”

“yeah, we already know you love us despite the tough-guy façade,” junho continued.

the barista stared at them. “i’m not yohan, but i’ll let it slide. behave, _or else_.”

they watched as the older returned to his spot behind the counter. his interruption had killed their previous conversation, but eunsang reasoned that it was for the best. there was no need to keep talking about it. after all, it was finally over and no longer going to bother them. things were going to be more peaceful around them.

“i hope hyung knows that we are very aware of how whipped he is for us,” junho’s voice hit eunsang’s ears as he was turning his attention back to his soulmates.

Dohyon snorted. “he acts like he’s different to yohan-hyung but he really is not. i literally live with him. i know he’d die for any of us. even dongpyo-hyung.”

for some reason, eunsang’s chest tightened at the mention of dongpyo. he remembered the last time they talked, which was through text, and that had been a few days ago. he’s always been distant, but because he was missing classes on top of that, it was worrisome to eunsang. 

he said that he was fine though. that his illness was bad, but nothing out of ordinary, so there was no need for worry. hence, he had to rest more. he said that he’d been hospitalized, but that soon he’d be back to normal and would meet them all. it wasn’t the first time that happened with the small boy, so he shouldn’t worry too much about it but he was.

he wanted to trust dongpyo. no, he _needed_ to trust dongpyo. things were fine with him too. as much as it’s been with Dohyon and junho. as much as it’s been with himself. soon they would all be together again. they would all be sitting in this cafeteria, talking to each other excitedly about the gossips of their lives. maybe next time he could introduce dongpyo to minhee and hyeongjun! they could all bond and widen their circle of friends. it’d be fine.

so, with that final thought, he made a mental note to text his best friend as soon as he arrived home. he wanted to tell him the news as soon as possible.

…

Yohan walked from the backroom, giving the shop a quick look and as soon as he stood behind the register, he slapped his coworker’s shoulder. “dude! why didn’t you told me _he_ was already here?”

“what? why should i?”

“because I specifically told you to give me a heads up when he did?!”

“whatever. that’s no big deal, sheesh,” hangyul replied with a frown, rubbing where he had been slapped. “and it’s not like he doesn’t come in literally _everyday_. i’m not sure why you’re so riled up to meet him today.”

“I have my reasons.” Yohan rolled his eyes. “did they already order?”

“yeah, and it’s already done.”

Yohan closed his eyes, breathing in and out to calm himself down. “hangyul-ah, I told you I wanted to take their order today! I have something to talk to hyeongjun about, and I didn’t want to seem pushy and desperate.”

“calm down, dude. you’re acting as if you were going to confess or something,” his friend laughed out, not really looking at his direction. but after the few seconds of silence that followed, he turned to Yohan.

Yohan was staring at hangyul with a blank expression. _seriously?_ was his coworker and best friend really saying _that?_ when he knows of his feelings for the boy? knows every detail of the couple of times they got to hang out together? has a copy of every selfie he took with him? hell, he wouldn’t doubt he had mentioned about wanting to ask him to be officially his boyfriend at least in three different conversations! he had no right to act as if that was something impossible to ever cross his mind.

because, yeah, that was exactly what he had planned on doing today. telling hyeongjun how he felt for him. even if it meant being shut down.

but now all confidence he had tried to maintain had been washed away. in its place, he was nervous. He was _worried_.

because it’s obvious that he’s not going to like him back. it’s obvious that hyeongjun, who values soulmates so much and can only see himself - and _everyone_ else - with whoever fate picked for him, would never pick someone else.

there was no reason for him to pick Yohan; someone who was broken and was destined to be alone since his day of birth.

“you’re kidding me.” hangyul broke the tension by returning the slap from earlier. “why didn’t you tell me that earlier? i would have had your back!”

“I thought that by saying, ‘yo, bro, when hyeongjun comes in gimme a heads up,’ I was implying that I needed you to have my back, you prick!”

“there was no way i could know you were going to shoot your shot today!” he paused a bit after saying that. “are you really going to do it though? today?”

Yohan sighed. “that’s what I had planned. I had built up all confidence and all, but… whatever. there’s always tomorrow.”

“oh, i’m not letting you do that to yourself!” hangyul said loudly, pulling him by the arm.

“and what do you think you’re doing?”

“giving you a push.”

“why?”

“because,” he started, stopping to turn around and stare at his friend directly in his eyes, “you deserve to be loved in the same way as everyone who has a soulmate.”

Yohan stood a few seconds in silence, staring at his coworker. hangyul looked so sincere, so genuine when he said that. “if he says yes, you mean.”

“wouldn’t hurt to try,” hangyul replied right away. “i mean, being rejected might suck and all, but if you never risk it and ask him out, you won’t know. and i honestly think he likes you. even if just a bit.”

Yohan turned to look at the boy who was chatting brightly with his blond best friend. he was turned away from the counter, but his cheeks stood out and Yohan could see his eye smile too. it was so adorable and he was in love with them.

“you think?” 

“yeah, yohan-ah. i think so.”

He took in a deep exhale at that, trying to build up the courage a second time that day. “okay. so you want me to try it?”

“yep.”

“today?”

“now.”

“ _now?_ hangyul-ah, he’s—” Yohan paused himself. “he’s a customer and I’m an employee, I can’t just walk into him—”

“consider this your break, then!” hangyul said with a big grin, pulling the latter until he was in the middle of the shop, only a few steps away from the table where the two boys were. “off you go! you have fifteen minutes to talk and,” he winked before continuing, “get a boyfriend.”

“I hate you so much,” He hissed, not sure if the other had heard. but he didn’t stay too long pondering about it as he turned away and spotted hyeongjun and minhee.

damn, he really is doing this right now, isn’t he?

as he moved closer to them, he started overthinking again. did he look too much in a hurry? was he walking too awkwardly? was hangyul recording him from far away to make fun of him? did he know something and was certain he’d embarrass himself in front of their two dongsaengs? or maybe—

“oh, yohan-hyung! fancy seeing you here.”

He blinked at minhee’s words. “I work here.”

“yes, but you are _here_. almost at our table,” he laughed out. “and in a great timing too. are you on your break? wanna sit down?”

“ _Kang Minhee_.”

“what?” the blond said with an innocent-looking expression, but with the way hyeongjun blushed - more than he already was - Yohan assumed there was _something_ hidden in his questions.

still, he was clueless. “is it okay for me to sit here?”

“please, hyung. i insist.”

before sitting down, he eyed the younger of the duo. since he didn’t show any sign to stop him, or say anything against it, he sat beside minhee. He was sure he’d be too nervous to sit beside the other, but now that he was face to face with him, Yohan reasoned that there was no way for him not to be nervous right now. either way, his heart would beat faster and his anxiety would grow. “so, what were you guys talking about before I stepped in?”

“we were talking about y—”

“—those two boys! you know, eunsang-ssi and junho-ssi!” hyeongjun almost shouted as he pointed at the other table a few feet away. the two boys, along with dohyon, turned to see the commotion but soon dropped it, returning to their conversation. “yeah, we met the other day, remember? when i ordered through texting and all. we introduced ourselves a bit ago.”

“I… see,” the barista started speaking slowly. “hangyul would love to hear you are all bonding.”

minhee raised a brow. “why so?”

“he considers you all _the kids_. kind of like our kids or something.” He smiled to himself as he remembered the conversation he had months ago. “something about you being the only regulars who aren’t adults.”

“ _your_ kids? gross.”

“right? it’s dumb, but hangyul love you all too much, I guess.”

at that, minhee smirked again. “just hangyul-hyung loves us too much?”

“ignore him, hyung,” hyeongjun spoke again, interrupting his best friend. “i’m not sure what’s gotten into him today.”

“you know exactly why i am like this,” he retorted, grabbing his cup that still had some of his drink. “hence why i’m going home earlier.”

“wha— wait! You can’t do this to me!”

“you said you’d consider,” he simply said before smiling at Yohan’s direction with an index finger pointing at him. “until next time, hyung. and be nice to our hyeongjunie. or else.”

the older swallowed nervously at that. “don’t— don’t worry, I will.”

“good,” minhee quipped as he left the table with his half finished drink in his hands.

“well, that was awkward. i’m sorry for him, hyung.”

“it’s okay. he’s a good friend.”

a look of shyness appeared on hyeongjun’s face. “He is, indeed…”

and like that, the subject died with hyeongjun looking dreamily at his cup and Yohan staring at him, unsure of what to say. 

_come on, Yohan-ah, you’re here for a reason!_ he oddly heard hangyul’s voice echoing in his voice. He furrowed his brows at that, looking at the counter in search of his coworker. he wasn’t even looking in his direction, so there was no reason for him to hear his voice.

still, it kept going. _do it! do! it! confess your feelings to hyeongjun! make him your boyfriend! do it now!_

“so, hyeongjun,” he broke the silence awkwardly. “how has your day been?”

the younger blinked. “what?”

“uhh, nevermind. that was stupid to ask.”

Yohan watched as the other took a sip from his cup, looking away after a few nods. that reaction made him gulp anxiously, feeling more and more tense by the second. He had to say something soon. He knew it. but even so, Yohan was too stiff in his seat and couldn’t bring himself to say anything. it was simple, and he wouldn’t die for confessing. the worst thing that could happen is him being rejected. and even if that hurts a bit, he’ll live. it’s fine. He should just open his mouth and say—

“hyung, you’re not my soulmate.”

it was his turn to look puzzled, his line of thought being broken and a new wave of nervousness hitting him. it took him a while to fully process the other’s words, but even after he did it, he still couldn’t understand where they were coming from. “what?”

“isn’t this why you’re so intrigued about me? because you think we’re destined?” he kept going with a weak voice, yet expressing such calmness it made Yohan wonder how long he’s thought about this. maybe since they talked about fate. “but i must let you know that we are not connected, not without odd ends at least because my soulmate is someone else.”

His throat felt dry after hearing that. “why is that a problem?”

“because that means your bond is broken. and that you will have expectations. and i can’t fulfil them all. we wouldn’t be a couple that fate made, and who knows if that would work out.”

“hyeongjun-ah, you silly boy. I know that I’m not your soulmate.”

hyeongjun paused. “ _huh_?”

“honestly, I would have found it more odd if _I was_ your soulmate. as far as I know, that’s impossible.”

“i’m… afraid i’m not following.”

Yohan couldn’t help it, but he caught himself laughing. it wasn’t the first person he had to explain this to, and probably not the last one. but it was so natural to him, and so pointless too, he could only laugh. it could also be a nervous response. who knows. “I don’t have a soulmate, so I guess it’s automatic to assume I’m not destined to anyone.”

hyeongjun’s expression changed slowly from confusion to realization to even more confusion. 

it could be annoying how much of an odd case he was compared to everyone else, but also, he understood the younger’s conflict. especially because he’s always thought so much about fate and soulmates; valued them so much and dreamed about his other half and all. besides, he wasn’t the first person who took a bit to fully process it, so he gave him his time. 

“so you… you’re telling me you don’t have a soulmate?”

“yeah.”

“so, like… how do you _see?_ ”

“that’s your first question?” Yohan chuckled a bit, tension leaving his shoulders. “I’ve seen colour even since I remember.”

“doesn’t that mean you saw your soulmate at a very young age, though?”

“I honestly doubt that’s the case for me. I just know I’m meant to be no one’s.”

at that, the younger’s expression dropped into a sad one. “i’m so sorry, hyung.”

“don’t be. I like it. it makes me freer.” he smiled, making eye contact with hyeongjun. damn, he was so pretty. “I like that I’m able to pick who to love without pressure of being told or thrown to someone a lot stronger being picked for me.”

“oh. that’s… nice…” the boy spoke in a quiet voice, still a bit confused. “but, hyung… what if you like someone who has a soulmate? they might eventually leave to meet them.”

“that depends. are you going to leave and meet your soulmate?”

“no, i can’t— wait—” quickly, the colour on hyeongjun’s face as well as the tip of his ears became a brighter pink. “wait, what? are you— hyung, do you like me?”

“I thought I had made it obvious by now.”

that made the small boy bite the inside of his cheeks. he was so, so cute and Yohan was in so, so deep in love, yet that only made him feel even more tense and worried. “well, yeah, it was a little obvious… but i guess i was trying to convince myself it was not that serious. or that it would pass. i don’t know.”

“well, if that was the case, I wouldn’t ask to hang out with you as much as I do. and you never turned me down, so I thought you felt the same,” he explained calmly, but inside, he wanted to pout and cry over his heart that was cracking right at that moment. still, as the older of the two, he tried his best to be mature. “but it’s okay if you’re going to chase your own soulmate now that you found them and all. I get it.”

hyeongjun stared at him for a while. then abruptly started laughing loud. 

the barista wondered what he had said that was so funny. especially because he thought his words sounded quite sad, not something one should laugh about. but there was hyeongjun with tears in the corner of his eyes and losing his breath. “what a silly boy you are, yohanie-hyung!”

“hey! don’t use my words against me!”

“seriously though, hyung,” he said after calming down. “i was worried about this because i can’t be with my soulmate. He has someone else as _his_ soulmate!”

Yohan blinked. “really?”

“yeah! i thought i was going nuts because i saw colour and he didn’t, but then his sight formed and it was like a confirmation of something i tried to deny often.” hyeongjun sighed. “it was hard for me to accept it since no one expects a broken bond once their soulmate comes into their lives, but yeah. i wanted, no, _needed_ you to know that. because you like me and all.”

“oh. I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

“don’t be.” hyeongjun showed him his usual bright smile. “i’ll move on eventually. i’m fine with just being his best friend.”

something clicked in Yohan’s head. “oh, your— your soulmate is _minhee_.”

“yeah.”

“and you love him?”

hyeongjun’s eyes twitched a bit at that, breaking eye contact for a bit as he sipped some more of his drink. “i… did. maybe i still do. i’m not sure. it’s hard to stop feeling what you do to your soulmate.”

_ouch._

well, there goes your answer, Kim Yohan. there is no way you have a chance after that. “I see. well, good talk. I should get going—”

“no! don’t go yet. i’m not finished,” hyeongjun rushed, eyes going wide. “i mean. yeah, i love minhee and he is my soulmate, but if that meant something he’d be connected to me. and i think it’s too early for me to say that i feel the same to you but,” he licked his lips, “i enjoy time with you and going out with you and… everything.”

Yohan’s mind suddenly went blank, taking a little too long to process those words. those were words he could never imagine hearing from hyeongjun, but was exactly what seemed to be happening…? no, it couldn’t be. the joke would be coming in three, two, one…

nothing. hyeongjun had really meant it…? no. there was _no_ way. “wait. what does that mean?”

hyeongjun gulped nervously. “it means i want to try…?”

Yohan froze again. “ _try_.”

“i’m not too sure either, okay! i think it’s worth the try. you’re nice, yohan-hyung. and i would like it to keep going,” hyeongjun said with a pout, cheeks still pinkish. “then we’ll see where we go. if you’re okay with it.”

“oh. wow. am I dreaming? is this a dream?”

“no, hyung, i’m serious!”

“wow,” he said one last time, staring with awe towards the younger. “okay. cool. that’s cool. I’m… I had not expected you to say that.”

“i’m surprised at myself too,” hyeongjun agreed with a shy look. “if it was a week ago, i’m sure i’d just laugh and turn you down.”

“ouch. I’m glad I waited then.”

they laughed some more until it died down, the atmosphere falling into a comforting silence. and it was then that Yohan noticed how hard his heart had been beating all this time, and that it was still quite loud. He knew that all of this would be nerve-wracking, but now that it was done, he could only be relieved. it really was too much for his poor heart.

hyeongjun’s phone lit up, showing that he had gotten a new message, and the barista decided it was time for him to get up. “well, I should probably get back to work. hangyul is going to kill me if I stay here longer than my break and it must have finished by now.”

“oh, okay. we will keep in touch, right, hyung?”

“of course! I’ll text you once I can.”

“good.” hyeongjun smiled at the older. “because there’s a place i want to take you on our next date.”

if those words weren’t enough to make Yohan’s face burn up, the wink that followed them surely did the job. Yohan raised one hand to one of his cheeks, hoping it’d hide it. “cool. we will, uh, talk about it then. see ya, hyeongjunie.”

“bye, yohanie-hyung.”

the barista ran towards the counter, hiding behind the register.

“i’m assuming by the colour of your ears that you scored.”

“shut up, lee hangyul.”

yeah, he had scored a point or two. which wasn’t a victory, but was better than a loss.

…

minhee stared at the dark blue sky, waiting for the red light to become green for him. he was a little bored by himself, but it was okay. he knew hyeongjun would thank him in the future. even if he didn’t really like the way he left so abruptly, it was the best for him. 

he felt guilty that his best friend wasn’t his soulmate. it wasn’t his fault but he hated that they weren’t tied like that. all he wanted was to find his soulmate and find his happiness beside them, but it turns out that it wasn’t what he had first thought. but even so, minhee decided that he would help hyeongjun to be happy. even if in a different way. and he knew yohan made him happy. he felt that he could trust his younger friend with the barista.

and, well, if yohan hurt him he would most definitely make the older pay. he was hyeongjun’s best friend after all. and no one hurts him.

minhee wanted to believe nothing like that would be needed. he was certain they’d be all gross and sappy together, and for a good while too. god, he already regretted supporting the two of them. but if it was for his happiness, he’d endure it.

after all, soon he’d find his soulmate and he was certain that once that happened, he’d do the same to hyeongjun. especially with all the pushing the small boy did all these months. it was only fair.

he returned his attention to the traffic light and watched as the light on the top shut off, the one right below shining a similar hue of white than the previous one. 

wait.

what?

minhee blinked once. then a second time, focusing on his sight and trying to understand what was going on. he was pretty sure the colour he was seeing before was red, and it would transition to green. it’s been a couple of months since he’s discovered this colourful world since he’s learned how to name all the colours on the rainbow. but now they both looked the same.

all the saturation… was gone.

_no way._

panicking, he moved his hand towards his pocket so that he could grab his phone. once the device was in his hands, he clicked the power button and stared at his wallpaper.

it was a selfie with hyeongjun. him with his yellowish hair and a very bright purple sweater and hyeongjun with his light brown hair wearing an equal designed sweater but in blue instead. minhee had this one wallpaper for almost a year now, previously all grey for him. but now… now he had gotten used with the colours of that photo, so fascinated at how colourful it actually was.

but now it was in grayscale again. and, despite him only discovering what it looked like with colours recently, the hues between white and black no longer felt familiar.

he had lost his colour sight. for real.

no.

no, no, _no._ he didn’t want to believe it. he— They— it couldn’t be happening right now! it couldn’t be happening _period!_ minhee had never had a chance to look at their eyes, tell them his name, get to know them. how could they—

“hey, are you going to just stand there?” a stranger suddenly spoke beside him. 

he looked shocked at the person, a middle-aged woman who seemed to be concerned. but her apparent worry didn’t help him at all. much the opposite. it made his panic rise.

he stared at her simple grey shirt, at the grey jacket that covered her small frame, and of course, the grey long skirt that completed her look. no, they weren’t grey. he just couldn’t tell what colour that was.

“hello?” she questioned him again. “you can cross now. it’s green.”

minhee barely processed what she meant by those words, but even so, he started walking. he felt like he was on autopilot, walking towards his home without paying attention, without noticing his surroundings. his mind was too fuzzy, his vision quite dizzy. there was no way this was happening to him.

eventually, he arrived at his house, entering and marching towards his room without a word. maybe his parents welcomed him, maybe they didn’t. either way, he couldn’t hear anything at all. 

minhee stopped in front of his bedroom door. it was open, so he could see it perfectly. like any high school teenager, he had quite a few decorations here and there, showing off his likes and interests to anyone who’d enter the place. even if he loved his belongings so much, even if he had picked it all himself, he now hated it. it was dull. it was boring.

it was all grey.

he let out a sob as he began walking forward slowly, looking around the place that looked so unfamiliar now. sure, he’s lived in it for sixteen, almost seventeen years without knowing what it looked like with its real colours, but… he had grown used to knowing them. he was used with the mint green walls, the beige-and-orange cat plushie hyeongjun had gotten him, and the poster of his favourite idol staring at him with a dark blue suit and bright red tie and— _and—_

he stared at the poster. it was so dull now. so boring. so… awful.

suddenly, he felt a wave of anger, feeling more and more tears leave his eyes as he sobbed. without thinking twice, he tore the poster from the wall. he stared at the dude closer he used to have such a shiny and pretty makeup… but it was grey now. that was so _annoying_. so ugly. it made him nauseous. so he crumbled it, ignoring the ripped noises that the paper made. he crumbled the picture into a small ball, one that seemed to fit well on his fist.

he hated it. hated it so much.

he raised his head to stare at the plushie, and with a shout, he threw the paper ball at it. it hit it straight in the head and with it losing balance, it fell down.

minhee stared at it for a few seconds. it was grey. a light-dark grey with spots of a darker grey. it was ugly and he hated it, so he kicked the kitty away. it slid towards the front door, staring back at the boy pathetically from the hall.

his vision started to blur more because of the tears and his body started to shake. he hated that despite being able to see properly, it was all so grey. where were all the colours he’s learned to love and cherish? where were they now?

(gone. the colours were gone, just like—)

minhee cried more, moving towards his bed so that he could muffle his sounds with his pillow. it hurt so bad. he felt so empty. why was he reacting that way? did he love colours that much?

yes.

but also… it was more than just losing colours. because he knew exactly what it meant when one had their colour sight formed, but then lost it. he knew what it symbolized, and it hurt so much. it didn’t matter that he didn’t know who they were because he’d never know. 

from now on he would be doomed to live in a world without them. doomed to live in a grey world on his own.

_because, whoever they were, his soulmate had just died._

> (me @ 7:52pm) hyeongjun, theres no need for us to come so frequently at the coffee shop anymore  
> (me @ 7:52pm) or not for me at least
> 
> (hyeongjun @ 7:58pm) ????  
> (hyeongjun @ 7:58pm) minhee what do you mean
> 
> (hyeongjun @ 8:21pm) minhee????  
> (hyeongjun @ 8:42pm) yah answer me!!!!! youre scaring me!!!!!
> 
> (hyeongjun @ 9:09pm) wait do you mean… oh no  
> (hyeongjun @ 9:09pm) im visiting u and were having a sleepover and nothing u tell me will make me change my mind

“i can’t do this. i can’t do this. oh my god, Minhee, _i can’t do this_.”

minhee sighed, watching his best friend go through another nervous breakdown. he walked towards hyeongjun and stared deep into his eyes. “calm down. everything is going to be okay. you can do this and _will_ do this.”

“what if you’re wrong though? what if the car breaks on the way? or if i’m left alone on the altar?” he averted his eyes from minhee but soon returned to stare at him, eyes more open than before. “what if yohan-hyung snores in his sleep?! i can’t live with someone like that forever! you know how much i value my sleep!”

minhee had heard this specific rambling so many times the past few months that it took a lot for him not to sigh a second time. one would think that by now the small man would be over his worries about marrying his soon-to-be husband considering that it was the d-day. 

hyeongjun was already dressed up with his stunning makeup that was so much heavier from his usual everyday look. with his hair styled like a comma and in a pure white suit. in a little more than two hours, song hyeongjun would be married to kim yohan and he would most likely be the happiest he's ever been. 

but now, he was being a pain in the ass. “nothing bad will happen on our way to the church. yohan-hyung would be _mad_ to leave you there considering he proposed to you, and if he does snore, you will get over it eventually! it’s not something serious for divorce and you can always buy earplugs to block it.”

for a couple of seconds, all hyeongjun did was stare back at the taller, face no longer mirroring his anxiety but instead seeming more relaxed. “You have a point. how come i’ve never thought of that before?”

“i’ve told you _exactly that_ before,” he reminded his friend. “and if today wasn’t the big day, i’m sure i’d have to say it more.”

“oh, shut it.” hyeongjun jokingly slapped the others shoulder, and then fondly smiled up to him. “what would i be without you, really.”

minhee put a hand on his chin, pretending to think. “single.” he got a second slap, which made him burst into laughter. “i mean, if i hadn’t pushed you a couple of times you would! or maybe not single, but on your _oh my god minhee can i hold his hand now or is it too soon_ phase for six years.”

“my hero.” the younger rolled his eyes as he walked away. 

minhee watched as hyeongjun stopped in front of the mirror, looking carefully at his figure. he decided to walk next to him, stopping beside the other. wow, they had changed so much. _matured_ so much. to think they met each other during middle school, went through all of their high school years together, are about to graduate university now and are still best friends. a lot happened between the two and they were still each other’s first choice. 

well, or maybe just minhee’s. hyeongjun was going to have another first choice, to whom he’ll build a life with. 

“if you stop hanging out with me every now and then, i will find you.”

the younger stopped looking at his reflection to meet minhee’s in the mirror. he looked like he wanted to laugh it off but something stopped him. “what makes you think i will stop seeing you after marrying hyung?”

“i didn’t say that.”

“that’s what i heard.” he smiled sadly at him, and without breaking eye contact, the older felt a hand suddenly holding his. “and that is not happening. You’re still my best friend for life whom i treasure the most. and even if we don’t get to meet as frequently, i won’t do that to you. okay? so don’t think of that.”

the taller swallowed down at that, nodding at his words. “okay.”

“yeah. so enough overthinking and let me apply some makeup on you.”

that made him scoff. “you’re the one who was having the thousandth breakdown over marrying. you can’t tell me not to overthink.”

“i can and i just did.” hyeongjun moved away from the mirror and walked towards his makeup bag. “you have your foundation around, right?”

“of course, this is my house.”

“great. do grab it for me and sit here with it.”

minhee wanted to roll his eyes and tell him no, that he didn’t need much makeup. he only used foundation, and maybe eyeliner if he was feeling bold. for him, that was enough. but he knew his best friend way too well. and he knew that whatever look he’d do, it would be colourful and bright. 

meaning, he wouldn’t be able to see it. not to its fullest. 

still, it was his day and he wasn’t going to refuse something as silly as that. especially since he wouldn’t be staring at his own face. it would not hurt. therefore, he did as he was told. 

“if you cover my freckles, i will end you.”

“what kind of monster do you think i am? i would never!”

…

minhee entered the church on his own, looking at the place with a bittersweet heart. it was all so bright. so pretty. but also so… grey. he was sure it was beautifully colourful in the eyes of others. he was sure it was the best thing hyeongjun could have ever asked for on his big day, but even so… it felt quite boring.

it had been so long since he last saw colours that he forgot what it was like to see the rainbow. even if he had gotten somewhat used with it, in moments like this, it felt lacking. it was a special event, one of a kind. hopefully never to happen again, so it needed to be as colourful as possible.

and it probably was. he just didn’t know.

“minhee!” 

his thoughts were interrupted by junho’s voice calling him from one of the seats at the front. he smiled at the older, walking towards him. “it took you long enough! is everything okay with hyeongjun?”

“the usual. freaking out over nothing. as if yohan-hyung would ever change his mind at the last second when he’s _that_ whipped.” he smiled warmly at him and his companion. “i’m sure you two can relate. especially you, lee eunsang.”

“please, i was _so_ anxious on our wedding day. it took me lots of self-control not to run away.”

“if you did that, i’d chase you.”

the younger smiled shyly and hit his husband’s shoulder. “because you’d always come to find me?”

“no. because i’d kick your ass for embarrassing me like that in front of our families.”

minhee high fived junho as the other narrowed his eyes at them. he crossed his arms, probably about to scold the other, but instead, his eyes lit up happily at something behind them. “Dohyon-ah! come here! i saved you a seat!”

“and didn’t save one for me?”

“you’re hyeongjun’s best man. you’ll be standing the entire time.” he rolled his eyes, landing them on his younger soulmate. “You’re late, by the way.”

“which i’m assuming it’s because the groom was late as well,” junho continued his husband’s thought. at that, he snorted. “not that it’s that bad because the other groom was, too.”

dohyon sighed as he passed a hand through his bangs. “tell me about it. yohan-hyung was annoying, so he delayed everyone. i told hangyul-hyung i could go first but _no_ , he needed his precious brother’s moral support or whatever his excuse was. like, seungyoun-hyung was right there as well. you’d think that’s enough moral support! but no, he was laughing more than being helpful, so he had to ask me instead of his husband.” he made a face of disapproval at that. “still don’t know what hangyul-hyung sees in him. anyway, he said something about needing someone to not make him shake some sense into yohan-hyung _literally_.” he paused. “although, thinking now, if he had done that, maybe we wouldn’t have been so late.”

the older trio laughed at his rambling. they could all imagine an overwhelmed yohan freaking out and hangyul trying his absolute best not to snap and comfort him _calmly_. that was the hyungs they knew.

“damn, these two really _are_ a match, huh?”

minhee nodded at junho’s words. “they’re both idiots who overthink. truly made for each other.”

_and to think they’re a couple by choice; not by fate._

that thought made himself feel warm. it was nice that even after one having his bond broken and the other not even having a bond to begin with, they found each other and managed to be happy together. sometimes destiny didn’t know what was best. sometimes what you made out to be your destiny is better for you.

minhee wished he could do the same. he wished he could live happily on his own too.

it was hard, though, and he wasn’t sure if he could say that he was doing a great job at that. was he happy? probably. it wasn’t something he could affirm with certain though. he had nice friends and was happy on their behalf. was going to graduate from the university of his dreams, and all of that. still, something was missing.

he hated how much he craved colours. he hated how much his half felt empty even if he hadn’t fully known them.

known _him_. Son Dongpyo.

“everyone, please sit down as the ceremony will start,” he heard the priest speak. yohan was already standing at the altar. that meant he should be in his place as well, waiting for hyeongjun to enter near hangyul and the rest. so he put his bitter thoughts away, and only allowed himself to savour the sweetness that it was to see his best friend the happiest.

…

minhee hated crying. it felt gross to have his nose running, eyes getting puffier as he could only sob. after they said their vows, after they kissed and it ended, he couldn’t help it. he was so happy for hyeongjun and yohan that he couldn’t keep his eyes from raining non stop. and he wasn’t going to repress it.

now, it was the afterparty. he was still so thrilled, so full of joy because of the union between the two of them. however, he was no longer crying and smiling near them. he had sat down at a table far away, currently on his own. he was previously with his friends, but junho and eunsang had left to have a duet dance while dohyon went to pester his older brother and his soulmate. 

so there was only him and his thoughts along with a half-empty wine bottle and a fuzzy brain.

life was great. he didn’t hate it. didn’t hate being left behind while everyone around him was moving forwards. minhee was truly happy for them.

but it was also a reminder. a faint reminder that he had lost his chance. his special one of a kind chance with someone that was shaped for him. that even if he tried to move on, to move forwards with the rest, he’d still be behind. it was not going to be the same.

after all, not everyone is as lucky as hyeongjun and yohan who, despite what fate decided for them, ended up having their happy ending. not everyone has those.

minhee definitely wasn’t going to have his, he realized as he drank more of his wine.

“kang minhee?” he heard a voice from above from a man who was standing up. 

it was weird. he felt like that face wasn’t completely new but he couldn’t name where he knew the other. he caught himself staring and trying to remember that, and it made the other laugh a bit. 

“it’s okay. it’s been so long since we last saw each other and this colourful hair doesn’t help. i’m jungmo from high school. remember me now?”

that made him instantly remember who he was as well as many days from back then from when he had just been admitted to high school while the other was in his final year. “oh my god, jungmo-hyung! you look so different, woah.” he stared at him in awe as he got up to hug him. he could feel jungmo stiffening slightly, maybe not expecting the hug, but soon he responded with pats on minhee’s back. “i hadn’t been expecting you to be in here. i didn’t know you were still in touch with hyeongjun.”

“ah, that’s actually a funny story.” he smiled wide as he started to speak again, “we weren’t until the marriage. i work with the buffet and it was a surprise to me when these two entered my shop and it was no one other than song hyeongjun.”

“really? what a small world.”

“right?” jungmo laughed a bit at that. “he invited me to his wedding and all, but we haven’t really talked about much besides it.”

“i see… it must be because of the stress of marrying and trying to finish his thesis, so don’t take it personally.”

“he tried to finish his thesis during all the planning?! he must be insane. marrying is already too much stress by itself.”

something clicked in his head. _ah, of course_ , he thought to himself. it was obvious that jungmo would know what it’s like to marry. especially since when he graduated high school, he had already found his soulmate and was happily dating him. minhee realized that he was at an age where everyone was marrying, or about to, and he was the only loner who was painfully single. not that he hadn’t tried dating before, but it never lasted. they would always demand something from him or change him for someone who made them see colours. 

he tried not to let that thought last long, though. “he actually finished it before the deadline. he was in a hurry so he could enjoy the honeymoon without worrying about it.”

“ _woah_.”

“yeah. he still has to proofread and all, but it’s done and he’s not going to think about it so soon.”

“that’s really impressive. hard to believe he is the same small boy who used to cry and cling to you at all times.”

minhee snorted at that, but then nodded. “he grew out to be quite strong on his own.”

despite not looking in his direction, he knew jungmo was nodding along and looking at him. “it must be thanks to his best friend.”

“nah, he is great on his own.”

the older wasn’t having it, clicking his tongue in disagreement. “i’m sure you two have matured since then, but i remember when you two became freshmen in my last year of high school. hyeongjun would always restrain himself except when you were the one encouraging him. even if he became more independent now, that must have helped him grow out of his shell.”

that made minhee gulp down. and— wait, were his cheeks getting pinkish? on god, kang minhee. you’re twenty-four and not back to being a seventeen-years-old teenager.

he let the conversation topic slide away, asking jungmo about his life after high school. they sat down at the table and shared the remains of the wine bottle which was soon replaced by some glasses of champagne. the older talked about his admission to his previous university, how he realized midway that he didn’t want that for himself and then dropped out to pursue a career in the kitchen. he happily talked about the many funny episodes he had witnessed from his clients which made minhee laugh loudly and sometimes boo out of disbelief. 

and it wasn’t that he hated to listen to those conversations, but as he kept going, he felt like there was something he was overlooking. “and what about your personal life, hyung?”

that made jungmo tilt his head, eyes narrowed but not unamused. “what’s the interest, minhee-yah?”

“n— none! i was just wondering that you only mentioned studying and work.” he cleared his throat. “when you graduated high school i’m pretty sure you were dating your soulmate. what was his name…”

 _hwang yunseong_. he remembered that name very well because minhee had a mini phase where he was crushing on the older boy. when it was announced that he had a soulmate, and that it was jungmo, his close sunbae, it itched a bit. it was naive, obviously, considering he had crushed on someone yet still saw grey. but that didn’t stop him from developing feelings and being hurt by a broken heart.

besides, the couple seemed perfectly happy when together. at least as far as he remembered. which wasn’t much considering they only saw each other for a year before the duo graduated. so he did his best to move on since they were going to start their own family after that. considering they moved in together and went to the same university right after that, he had assumed things went smoothly to them.

as smoothly as fate had decided.

however, with the way jungmo’s expression turned awkward and uncomfortable at the mention of yunseong, it was clear that was not the case. “ah, that… well… we’ve been divorced for a couple of years now, and he remarried a junior from his university not long ago.”

“oh. i’m so sorry, hyung. i didn’t mean to—”

“it’s fine. it happens.” he smiled bitterly, gulping down the drink he had in his hands. “people like thinking that fate is always right but it’s not always the case. i just happened to be one of them.”

minhee swallowed nervously and nodded at those words. he didn’t know what to say, so he kept silent.

which was proven to be the right thing to do as the older continued speaking. “but other than that, my personal life has been bearable, you know. i might not be with my soulmate, but my life is much better after we broke up. although, i must admit, it gets tough to meet new people when you have to explain that they’re definitely not your other half. i never really gave up on that. it isn’t my priority, but also, who knows what’s ahead of us.”

“i get that feeling,” minhee admitted in a whisper as he nodded.

that wasn’t left unnoticed by the older, who turned his attention to him with one brow up. “i think that’s enough talking about me. what about you, minhee?”

he stared blankly at the other. “me? what about me?”

“what about your life? whatever you feel comfortable sharing.”

there was no way that the older man could know what happened to him. still, with the way that he was looking at him sympathetically as if he was comforting him without any words… it made him wonder if he already knew about Dongpyo.

he didn’t because he didn’t tell _anyone._ those who knew either lived through it with him or were _his_ friends first.

minhee sighed. “i’m graduating in visual arts soon. my thesis is halfway done but there’s still a lot to do.”

“oh, that’s so cool! i remember you used to draw a lot before.”

“yeah… i wasn’t so sure what to do after high school, so i decided to enter it just for fun.i ended up finding myself there.” he smiled awkwardly at the memory. “it was so tough though. i’m the only colourblind student, so i had to label everything or have a classmate help me. sometimes i just guess and hope the colours match well. it’s given me funny responses, but somehow it works for me. i learned how to use that on my behalf, i’d say? it’s hard to explain but i’m managing. somehow.”

he turned to stare at jungmo who seemed to be processing the words. it made him slightly nervous wondering what he’d comment on. that must have lasted only a few seconds, but it felt like decades until he smiled at him. “i can’t imagine how hard it must’ve been. but i’m glad it worked out to be fine in the end.”

minhee relaxed his shoulders. “yeah. i mean, i’m graduating. that’s enough victory.”

“that sure is.” he finished his glass before continuing. “do you have some pictures of your artwork? i’d love to see them. and maybe you can laugh at my reactions as well.”

“oh. sure, i must have some in my gallery,” he responded while grabbing his phone. as soon as the screen lit up, he was facing one of his paintings. it was a portrait of a young boy with small features save for his plump lips. whenever he looked at it, his chest both ached and felt warm. 

minhee clicked into his gallery and selected the album of photos from his art. it was incomplete. it only had some of his produced works, but there were still plenty of photos for jungmo to admire. and admire he did, going through the pictures and leaving some small commentary about the choice of colours, of what feelings it brought to him, and if he had liked it more or less than the previous one. minhee felt good to have his art loved.

at one point, jungmo stopped to look at one specific painting. he stared with no words. the younger’s heart started beating a little faster when he realized it was the same one that he had as his wallpaper and lock screen. the portrait of a young boy with small eyes, small nose, plump lips and dark hair that contrasted with his light skin. there were some roses in the background as well as on his hair, and the boy’s features were painted in such detail, you could notice how dark his dark eye bags were. even some wrinkles here and there made him seem so fragile. 

however, none of that was the other’s focus. 

“this one is in grey,” jungmo pointed out. 

that was true. out of all the previous photos, that was the only one that everyone would see the same. his skin wasn’t golden. his dark circles weren’t purple. his lips as well as the tip of his nose and ears weren’t pinkish. the roses were in a thick black as dark as his hair was. 

minhee hadn’t used any hue in it. 

“yeah.”

“that’s,” he started, licking his lips and pausing a bit before continuing, “that’s so sad.”

minhee turned his head to watch his hyung’s reaction. his bright smile had faded and his expression mirrored his hurt. even so, he couldn’t stop analysing the painting. “why sad?”

“i’m not sure. it just gives me a feeling of… death. grief.” he turned to stare the younger. “he looks like he’s suffering and dying. or maybe that’s what he is feeling. like he lost something important and is in pain as if he was dying.”

those words went right through minhee’s chest as if they were daggers ready to pierce him to death. he hadn’t gotten that feedback on this painting before besides being exactly what he felt when he painted it.

he licked his lips before opening his mouth. “that’s Son Dongpyo.”

jungmo blinked at that, clearly confused. but he didn’t say anything, and instead, looked at the painting again. 

“i met him once,” the younger continued, voice weak. he wasn’t sure what made him start speaking, but considering that jungmo seemed to be attentively listening to his words, he didn’t stop. “just once. He never introduced himself and i never told him my name either, but later i came to know it. back then, He was sick and i tried to help him, but he was reluctant to accept it. our conversation was nothing but nice, honestly.” he forced a scoff at that. “but i still couldn’t stop thinking about it. about him. He was so weak and fragile and it hurt me to see him like that. but back then i didn’t know what it was, so i brushed it off. you see, when we met, i already had my sight for months. it happened at the start of sophomore year in a crowded coffee shop near our campus, so i didn’t find who had triggered it. so hyeongjun convinced me to go back to that place every day since then, hoping fate would connect us again. and, well, it did. countless times. every day i would enter that place, and every day, Dongpyo would be there too. we just didn’t feel the connection or maybe we did but didn’t understand what it was and ignored it.”

he stared at the picture that was being held by jungmo. “i had my sight for ten months. i saw every colour and learned how to love them,” he continued. “and once that time passed, i lost them all at once. as the world returned to be grey, i lost Dongpyo forever too. our only conversation was me scolding him, a stranger, to take care of his health and trust his friends more. we were nothing to each other but a random passerby, yet once i lost my sight, i felt like something died in me. i couldn’t stop crying, couldn’t stop grieving. i missed high school graduation, entered university a year later, and even made hyeongjun miss a year too.” he sighed at that. “i only managed to feel a little better when i started to paint this. His friends were kind enough to lend me photos of him and help me out. they would tell me stories of him and how he dreamed to find me. the whole thing took me months to finish, but i like how it turned out. it feels like he’s been immortalized.”

“that’s very beautiful,” the older man replied after a while, his voice not too loud but minhee still heard him. “i’m glad you trusted me to tell me that.”

minhee smiled in his direction, wiping at his eyes to keep back a single tear that threatened to fall. enough crying from his part. “thank you for listening, hyung. there aren’t that many people who like hearing these sad stories, so i keep it to myself.”

“they are fools then,” jungmo continued. “sure, it’s sad, but it’s also a very beautiful story. i can see how much you cherish this dongpyo despite only meeting him once. it’s very sweet of you to think about him even when he’s gone.”

minhee nodded solemnly. “once hyeongjun told me that soulmates always have some importance in your life. i thought that was stupid because i kept trying to find _the one_ and once i did, i lost him forever. but i think he’s right. even after that, Dongpyo taught me a lot about being free and being true to yourself. He had always been positive and never dared to fake who he was despite having a critically compromised health or intolerant parents. somehow… He taught me to appreciate myself more. which is… weird? all i did to him was scold him. and it’s not like he followed my advice in the end. He was quite stubborn. but even so… He was important to me becoming who i am right now.”

jungmo smiled at him. “i can see that. and i think hyeongjun is right as well. Yunseong had taught me a lot too despite us not working out in the end. but maybe that’s why we’re assigned people to make us see colour and all of that. we’re the ones who interpret it as fate, trying to tie two people together, but not necessarily. at least, not in the way we all assume it is as a couple living happily ever.”

“yeah… maybe you’re right, hyung.”

jungmo handed the younger his phone and they fell in a comfortable silence after that. a waitress asked them if they’d like to drink more, but minhee wasn’t feeling like drinking anymore so he shook his head. the older requested two glasses of water, and he reasoned that he also didn’t want any more alcohol in his system. that was nice.

minutes passed between them, watching as the calm and romantic song was changed to an exciting electronic track. despite the lack of words, they caught themselves laughing at the newly wed couple dancing a bit too enthusiastically as well as the few guests who seemed as wasted at them.

minhee noticed that after the talk, he felt much lighter than before jungmo had walked over. even if he was silent now, he felt comfortable in his presence. it’s been a long time since he felt at ease when spending time with someone that wasn’t hyeongjun or himself. it had also been too long since he had last trusted someone to tell about the painting, about Dongpyo, and hadn’t been shut down. much the opposite. the older had thanked him for sharing the story. that made him feel very… renewed.

he turned his head a bit to look at the other’s profile. he was still staring at the dance floor, smiling to himself. he thought to himself, jungmo was so sweet. he was very kind, very understanding, and it was hard to imagine that he had been dumped by his soulmate. even if he said that he’d gotten over it, it still bugged minhee. imagine having someone like him as his destined one, with a perfect and requited bond, yet still pick someone else? it didn’t make sense. even those who don’t have a bond with him should swoon over him, should see how caring he is, and give him a chance if the opportunity comes. 

_«it gets tough to meet new people when you have to explain that they’re definitely not your other half»_ , the older man’s voice echoed in his head. yeah, that was true. he knew that well. but did it always have to end up with destiny? with what fate wants? who said that they can’t be your other half? hyeongjun and yohan were so happy together even if they weren’t connected at first. and sometimes your soulmate isn’t the one you’ll live the rest of your life with. you’ll never know if you don’t risk it.

because sometimes fate was full of crap. sometimes you had to make your own fate.

everyone should give him a chance if the opportunity came in, he thought a second time. then it hit him that everyone also applied to himself.

he gulped before opening his mouth. “hey, jungmo-hyung?”

the older turned again to his direction. “yes?”

“what are you doing after the party?”

jungmo blinked once. then a second time, tilting his head as he processed those words. finally, he smiled. “nothing much. why?”

“i think we could, you know.” minhee cleared his throat. “catch up.”

jungmo nodded at that. “i’d love it, minhee.”

sure, minhee wasn’t jungmo’s destined one. jungmo wasn’t going to make him see the colours that minhee missed so dearly. jungmo wasn’t Dongpyo. still, it didn’t mean minhee couldn’t give it a chance and be happy on his behalf.

on _Dongpyo’s_ behalf but also for he who didn’t have the chance to feel it for himself yet.

**Author's Note:**

> aaaaaaaaaaand that is it! thank you for reading this, i hope it was an enjoyable stay despite the pain. and length. like omg what the fuck did you not get bored midway?   
>  so, for those who clicked on the listography and read all of the extended start note, did you discover what made some words be capitalized? don't worry, i'll tell you. it means the person talking has referred to their soulmate, same thing when it appears while narrating. i write in third person, but the narrator is always siding with one character at a time and how that specific character thinks, never multiple. so, for example, when it's writing by hyeongjun's perspective, Minhee's name as well as words talking about him will be capitalized (not all, though, i didn't want it to be _extremely_ obvious and capitalize a word in the middle of the sentence). that being said, you must have noticed the only time the word i is capitalized is when yohan's talking, as he has no soulmate. i kinda tried to make it seem that he is his own special person, that he doesnt need anyone else in life. another note i must mention is that eunsang does not have junho's name capitalized because, altho he and dohyon are _both_ his soulmates, junho was not the one who made him see colour.   
>  if you didn't notice this don't feel bad, i think i did a poor job putting that into the fic and it often stressed me as i kept going with this and sometimes i just kind of. gave up of making it too "polished" i guess but the lapslock-but-not-really had always been a crucial part of this idea and did not want to drop it. so yeah, if you only discovered because of this explanation don't feel bad!!!!!!!! i should be the one sorry for not making it well into the story!!!!!!   
>  until next time, hopefully!!! don't forget to stay safe and wash your hands and support blm movements especially those close to you/in your country, and all of that!!!!


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